"Consumer Christianity"

Do you ever get those little booklets from your church and it gives you a devotional a day? I got one from Rivervew called "Our Daily Bread" and it often steers me back on course throughout my work day. Today's reading was pretty good. Thought I would share.

"Christianity in modern America...tends to be easy, upbeat, convenient, and compatible. It does not require self-sacrifice, discipline, humility, an otherwordly outlook, a zeal for souls, a fear as well as love of God. There is little guilt and no punishment, and the payoff in heaven is virtually certain. What we now have might best be labeled 'Consumer Christianity." The cost is low and customer satisfaction seems guaranteed." --historian Thomas C. Reeves

"If we were only customers of Almighty God, we could be selective in our faith and reject anything we didn't like. But that's not the idea we get from Jesus. He pointed us to a cross, not to a spiritual check-out counter. He said: "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it." (Luke 9:23-24)

"Christ died on a cross for our sins, not for satisfaction. And he calls us to trust in Him, then follow Him with a life of self-denial. In a world where the customer is always right, it takes radical obedience to God to keep from buying into 'Consumer Christianity.'" --David McCasland

This referred to one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Such a complex ideal for a human. Such a simple way to live. But it is true in what I see. Like the people on Saved! who walk around in this disillusionment that Jesus is going to make everything better. I also talk to people who think there is no hell or they can go to heaven for basically being a good person. That used to be me. I didn't like the happy clappys who would scream out in tongues and make me feel weird. Well...I still don't like them. They still make me feel weird. I still feel weird sometimes talking about Jesus. I'm fine with name dropping God but you mention Jesus, and people look at you funny. You turn into this nutty, freaky, yucky person and people slowly back away so they don't catch what you have. Weird.

Anyhow, that's all I have to comment on for now. I have some things to take care of before I leave for the day. Fire up the snow blowers.

Jane Marie

Me: What are you doing, Jane Marie?
J: Oh, you know, just sitting here with my elbow half-way up my arm.

Love that lady.

Monika

My friend Monika just had her fourth baby. After three boys, she finally made a girl. Monika also celebrated her 26th birthday last week. Yowzer.

I met Monika when she was 14. She was so sweet...innocent...well, she had us all fooled about the innocence part. Still, she quickly became one of my closest friends. We managed Holt's wrestling team together and had a lot of fun. Except for the fact that she was always getting grounded.

I graduated and moved up to Mt. Pleasant but came back to hang out once in awhile. One of the funniest memories I have of Monika was when she took Kelly and I to a party during the summer of 1995. She kept talking this boy up, wanted one of us to date him because he was so nice. Kell and I were 19...this guy was like 23 or something. Way too old in our books. We met him and he had hair to his shoulders. Not our type. Good thing neither of us took Monika up on her match making deal because by September, Monika was pregnant with his baby.

I think she was 16 years old. Her dad got transferred to Indianapolis and took the whole family down there. When Monika was 6 or 7 months pregnant, she moved back to Mason and moved in with Lance and his parents. She had Zehlin in May and he was so beautiful. I was the proud aunt. Monika and Lance got married when she became pregnant again two years later. They bought a house in Leslie and brought Kanen home from the hospital. Three years later, they planned Griffin, but I had since lost track of Monika. I got really TO'd over something she did.

My sister kept tabs on Monika through Mason Urgent Care. Mon would ask about me but it took her until 2003 to finally ask Lyn for my phone number. She called and I was happy. She was living in Mason again and going through a divorce. Now, she wanted to experience the freedoms of being a teenager...but she wasn't one anymore and she had three little people calling her mom. Monika caved.

I lost track of her again. The last I heard was my sister telling me Monika was moving to Alabama. She met a guy and they were getting out of town. Monika was afraid to tell me because she thought I would be upset. I remember unleashing on my sister. Of course I was upset! How could she leave three little boys? How could she do this to them? They didn't ask to be born. They didn't ask to have a flaky mom. I was pretty unforgiving. I was very judgmental.

I went to Monika's parents who had moved to Leslie. Her dad told me about all the problems Monika was having when she lived in Mason. Money, drugs, fights...he was kind of happy she got out of town. But then...then the boys came to visit her parents on Christmas Day. Griffin, who was one and a half, ran to Monika's room, calling out to her. Zehlin, the oldest, went after him trying to explain that mommy wasn't here anymore. The story broke my heart. But it was January 2004, and I was in a different place. I started praying like crazy. I prayed for her life. I prayed for her boys. I prayed she would come back to them.

I heard Monika was back in town through a kid I graduated with. I immediately tried to find her and ended up leaving a note on her parent's door. The note said to have Monika call me because I wanted to talk to her and I loved her a lot. Monika found the note and called. I saw her the next day, which was the day before my grandma died. She was pregnant again but happy...amd sweet, which she really, genuinely is. I decided not to judge this situation though I know in my heart what I wish. I just want to be there for Monika and for her to know I love her unconditionally. She told me she came back because she couldn't stand to be away from the boys. She said she didn't call me because she felt ashamed. I told her to never worry about that. Never worry about me judging her for decisions she makes. I'll love her even if I don't agree. If everyone else turns on her, I will show her God's compassion.

Monika = a test of patience, faith, compassion

I get to see little Gillian Christian Burley tomorrow. I can't wait.

Fallen Solider

Please check out my friend Matt's blog for a tribute to his cousin. It amazes me how people can pick up and carry on with hope. As I said to Matt, thanks be to God.

Just so you know...

Sitting in a hot tub when the wind chill is 13 below zero, is not a great idea.

Why?

Because the wind chill is 13 below zero.

Still fun, but not a great idea.

Tease

It's days like this that remind me of why Spring is my favorite season. The mild air, the warmth on my face, the blowing wind, a storm moving in from the west...I wanted to stay outside or at least sit by a window and watch. Instead, I'm in a hole staring at a calendar which reminds me I have a few months left to go (sigh).

Soooo.....

Remember how I was complaining about pizza? Well, I went to a meeting yesterday having no idea I was going to get another free lunch out of Valassis and....we had Mr. Pita.

Of course, I deemed this an act of God because he loves me so much. I mentioned this to some guys in our shipping department and one of them said, "Oh, so God will allow 150,000 people die in a Tsunami and he'll make sure you get Mr. Pita for lunch (laughter at how naivee I am)."

"Well...I don't think God ever left us to go to the other side of the world and watch 150,000 people die. I don't think he has bigger fish to fry than to deal with my little life. I understand that in the scope of human thinking a tsuanmi is more important and tragic than me not getting the right lunch. But....he's God. He's a lot smarter than me so bottom line is I don't know. But how could it be a coincidence?"

That's what I wanted to say, anyhow. Really, I just said yes.

Mystery

Ben (my former supervisor/present day friend) and I used to e-mail each other a lot. I was looking through some old e-mails yesterday, found this one, decided to post it because it made me laugh. I shall post more things I find funny as I see fit. My blog. Meow.

B: What's up HB?
H: Eating a lunch I can’t stand and looking for a new car. What about you?
B: Pissing away another day at valassis.
H: My days of pissing are over, I think. My job is in and ready to control my life.
Have you ever rebelled against yourself?
B: I think I've been through periods of rebellion with myself. What about you?
H: I’m really rebelling against myself right now. I’m forcing myself to eat this food and I can hear….I guess I hear my other self screaming, crying, resisting my efforts to eat it instead of throwing it out. I keep telling myself things like, “if you don’t eat it, you’ll be hungry later and I’m not feeding you again until dinner,” or “there are starving people all over the place and you’re going to throw away perfectly healthy food?” But then, my other self back talks me. “I know if I’m hungry you’ll feed me before dinner” and “if there are starving people all over the place, send the lunch to them!” I’m so lenient with myself. But no! Not this time! I won’t let me get away with it…..well, I'll at least eat half.
B: You are hilarious!! I would love to hear more of this inner dialogue and the other subjects that you argue with yourself about.
H: I can’t talk anymore. I just grounded myself. Of course, knowing me, I’ll rebel.
B: You should sneak out after your otherself goes to sleep. I'll meet you at the corner.
H: I know I would get caught. My other self is a light sleeper. I hate microwave meals. They always seem like such a good idea at the time.
Up for a little BS tomorrow?
B: I think the question is are you up for a little BS?
H: Almost always. Do you think I should get a 2000 Chevy Astro Cargo or a 1988 Chevy Bonaventure.
B: I think you should ride your bike instead.
H: No, I want a van. One of those old types like the Mystery Machine.
B: Are you going to solve mysteries?
H: No, I’m going to build them.
B: Then you're not the one that needs the van.
H: Oh. Then I want a Mazda 6.
B: I think if you are building mysteries you should drive one of those little mini coopers. That seems like a mystery building type car. Either that or an Impala.
H: The first mystery to solve is why I ever bought that car.
B: I thought it was because Joey told you it was a good idea.
H: I guess the mystery is why I listened, then.
B: Because you are sometimes impressionable.

That's two mysteries solved. I think I need that van.

Being the brat that I am....

That whole Dying To Self thing? Yeah...might be a little unrealistic for me. For the second time in a week, our CEO ordered pizza for all three Michigan locations. The first thing out of my mouth was, "Man, can't we get Mr. Pita or something?" (laughter from the cubes around me). Then, after I got a couple of pieces, I said, "I can't stand Papa Romano's or Jetts. Why do we always have to get these sub-standard pizza joints?"

See....see how I really am? It wasn't enough that I had food...or that it was free...it wasn't good enough for me. I kept sitting there trying to change my heart but as the second napkin was soaking up the grease from my slice, I decided I didn't really want to put it into my body. I made it through one piece and then I ate a Clementine. Mmmmmm....much better.

Anyhow, I have a ways to go on the whole selfish thing. Being a brat just comes so natural to me :o) I bet all of you can agree.

Just in case you were wondering...

I can't really blog from work. Sometimes when I get a break but last week was the pits--sooo busy. What I end up doing is blogging at home, writing out my thoughts in Word and then I come to Mr. Pita to use their wireless internet. I'm going to start using my jump drive, though but I like coming to Mr. Pita once every couple of weeks. The owner, Anthony, always smiles and waves, makes sure the wireless connection is up. Good man.

I wanted to update about the trip home from Chicago. It was awesome. We listened to Shattered which I love but I think it was just kind of okay for Beks and Ry (who was still sleeping it off). We listened to the teaching on Homosexuality after that. I was soooo nervous because Ry is such a liberal guy and the attitude is "if it feels good, do it" kind of. The teaching was ending with just the prayer left so I switched it over to Becky's IPod to listen to music. Suddenly, Ryan piped up, "I like listening to Noel. Where did he go?" "Oh, it was just the prayer at the end, Ry but we can finish it." So we did. Then Ry said, "I like Noel. He's like a really good professor."

I drove the whole way home (and only freaked out once when driving through Chicago) with Beks as my co-pilot. We had a mini church session in the car, listening to Riverview teachings and then to Becky's old time Christian songs like Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith. It was actually way cool. We also played "Stump Holly" with me trying to guess songs within the first 5 seconds. I didn't do as well as when Joey tried to stump me with 80s music. I had a lot of fun, though and I love Becky and Ry to pieces. They are truly among my bestest, closest friends.

Willingness

The teaching at Riverview yesterday knocked me over the head. It was another one of those that held my attention and I swore I could hear Jesus talking to me himself.

I walked into church and went to check out my Rivkids schedule. I was approached by someone who wanted to have a conversation with me about this possibility at Riverview…this possible opportunity.

Joey asked me, “What are you going to do?”

My response was that I didn’t know because I didn’t know the details. However, I said that if this opportunity required me to quit my job and move back, I just didn’t think I could do it. After all, Valassis is an awesome company to work for. I get my bonus next month and have worked fairly hard to earn what I earn. Also, I love where I live and I love my roommate. On top of that, I think I might kind of be reaching my friends…and I just don’t think I could leave them.

And then Steve opened his big mouth…. :o)

Do I have a willingness? Can I really trust God with everything? Can I submit to authority, take risks for God and be truly authentic?

Oh geez. Why now? I’ve been kind of praying about it but gosh, golly…why would the opportunity be considering me…me thinking there was no way…and 15 minutes later…I feel so full of courage and scared crap-less all at once.

A couple of ideas really got me. Peter took a risk by getting out of the boat. Everyone else waited in the boat to see. In relating it to my life, I was the first one out of the boat. Well, I think I saw Joey outside of it and I wanted to be there, too. I was a little scared of failure and a lot scared of rejection but in my heart, my friends weren’t going to change my mind.

Jesus looked at Peter in the beginning. Jesus looked at Peter in the end. Those two sentences have new meaning now that I know the definition of look (to look with your mind). Jesus saw something in Peter. He saw something in us. God uses the shaky people who don’t have their acts together. Kind of a relief. See, on Saturday, I was at my cousins and they were talking about the Scott Peterson trial. My cousin-in-law (a Christian) stated that Scott got what he deserved: an eye for an eye. Me, being the baby Christian and pulling from my Route 66 knowledge said, “I thought that was the OT way of doing things?” “You can’t throw out the OT. It’s in the Bible.” (what I meant was that I thought Jesus changed that way of thinking but I couldn’t really say what I meant). So then we get into this mini-debate where my cousin-in-law tells me that the two things God hates the most are sodomy and idoltry. I was a little confused because I thought God hated the destruction of something made in his image. I realized I might not know what I was talking about, Jerry really seemed to want to debate, and I left the situation. I don’t like to debate Jesus. Ask me a question and I’ll try to answer it…but I am not equipped with a lot of answers…and that is how God uses me.

Yes, I’ll get this all straightened out with time. The more I read the Bible the more I might understand. But I see sometimes how God uses my imperfections or my pain. My grandma, whom I loved oh so dearly, died and I made a DVD. Because of her death, it occurred to me that I might be able to do this for other people…and I’m reaching out to them.

Two last thoughts:
Are you willing to be different for Jesus?
Give what you can’t keep to gain what you cannot lose.
Maybe I will take this risk to serve others. Not so sure yet but I’m going to have the conversation. I’m also more excited than ever to go on some kind of mission. Shoot, if I can face my friends in the bar, I think I might be ready to go out into the world, even if I fail and am rejected. As I was taught today, “Jesus’ reputation is worth it.”

Thanks for opening your big mouth, Steve.

Project KMM

There was this girl…she was 14-years-old. I was 11-years-old. She was the coolest person I had ever met. I wanted to be just like her. After knowing her for 7 months, she died of a brain tumor. She went fast. She went young. She left behind so many people.

On March 3, it will be 17 years since Kim died. I lost touch with her sister and her father, but last year, I found Howard again. I was sad to learn he has two pictures of his daughter. Just two. This is where I step in.

My cousin and I put a DVD together of my Grandma. It is beautiful. It occurred to me that Kim’s family should have one of Kim. I prayed. I asked God to help me with this project. In fact, I told him I wasn’t going to do it without him. So God opened doors.

I called Kim’s sister, Karen. She is a few months younger than I am and we hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in 15 years. At first, she was a little hesitant about me wanting to pull a memory video together, only because she didn’t quite understand. And then, the tears, the excitement, the appreciation.

I have my work cut out for me so I would appreciate prayers, though I know there are plenty of other things to pray about. Still, this is the first project I have done with God…I mean, the first one I have asked him to partner with me. I met with Karen on Saturday night and scanned in 52 pictures. We need more, though. Karen got on the phone to some people and has really put the wheels in motion. She is awesome and really, I love her involvement. This project is coming together.

My due date is Kim’s birthday 8/17. I hope to interview people, get their memories down but the goal is to not let the sun go down on Kim’s memory.

Kimberly Marie Morris

Saturday's Alright

I had three people call me to go out on Saturday night. Brand and Meeelissa were in Novi and wanted to hang out. Dana was celebrating her 29th birthday in Novi. Tracy, my sorority sis, was also having her 30th birthday party in Novi. I could have gone to all three—this never happens to me. I should have jumped at the chance to do it…so what did I do Saturday night?

*Hung out with my aunt’s family while they celebrated Christmas.
*Scanned pictures into my computer of a girl who has been dead for 17 years.
*Sat in a hot tub until 1:00 a.m. while watching a dog named Cain play with the neighbor dog in the snow, laughing at two kittens who were desperately trying to see what was going on outside (but only ripping the curtains down), and having conversations with God and Joey.

Fun times as I approach 29 :o)

Dying to Self by Bill Britton

When you are forgotten or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy - being counted worthy to suffer for Christ; THAT IS DYING TO SELF

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself - but take it all in patient loving silence; THAT IS DYING TO SELF

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any unpunctuality, or any annoyance ... when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility - and endure it as Jesus endured it; THAT IS DYING TO SELF

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption - by the will of God; THAT IS DYING TO SELF

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or record your own good works, or itch after commendation - when you can truly love to be unknown; THAT IS DYING TO SELF

When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met, and honestly rejoice with him in sprit without envy or question of God - while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstance; THAT IS DYING TO SELF

When you receive correction and reproof from one of less stature that yourself, and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly - finding no rebellion or resentment rising up in your heart; THAT IS DYING TO SELF

ARE YOU DEAD YET? In these last days the Sprit would bring us to the Cross."That I may know Him ... being made conformable to His death"

Bed Time Story

I know. I'm a blogging fool tonight. It's just that Beks is sleeping upstairs and the boys are out playing Golden Tee Live. I am blogging and watching the first episodes of old TV shows on TV Land. I just watched the first episode of the Andy Griffith Show. It actually made me tear up a little...and laugh a little. But I've been a little emotional all day. Want to know why??? Do you really want to know???? Ahhhh.....sure you do. Of course you do! You see, you've read my other posts, almost fell asleep, and thought, "this one ought to do the trick." So, get tucked in...here we go.

We went out to watch the Rose Bowl. Bek and I didn't really want to go but we did. By the end of the 1st quarter, there were no boys to be found near us...they were playing Golden Tee. Bek and I laughed about it and then I asked her a question: after 6 years of dating Ryan, did she think he would propose this year.

This one question opened up a whole evening of intimate discussions about love, friendship, and faith. I was shocked at how interested and open Bek was about my decision to become a Christ follower and the changes I had to make in my life. Well, I wasn't too shocked. She has always been pretty supportive...but I was surprised by something else...it was the way in which we both spoke and listened. It was definitely God in action.

I see something in Becky. I see how she wants a closer relationship with God. I know he wants one with her and maybe, just maybe, he'll use me to bring him to her. And maybe, just maybe, she'll accept him and draw nearer. But maybe it will be awhile still.

Something else that was pretty cool was that the boys joined in the conversation a little bit, too. Ryan started questioning me about the timeline of the bible. I got really nervous and explained I didn't have a lot of the answers. I tried to say I was still a toddler Christian...still wetting my pants-type-Christian. I took a deep breath, said a little prayer, and I believe God and I handled his questions pretty darn well. I think Ryan thinks that if his questions about the history of the bible are answered, then he can really, truly believe. Our answer to him? I still have unanswered questions. At some point, you have to give it up to God and just have faith. But maybe he could start studying the bible and find answers he's looking for.

Oh, and I invited Beks and Ry to Riverview. They were totally down with it. Really excited. Tomorrow, on our way home, I'm going to ask if we can listen to Shattered and see what they say. I certainly don't want to push my beliefs down their throats and I really don't want to push Riverview down their throats...but I want them to have a relationship with God, invite him to their relationship and maybe even finally make that big, leap.

Oh, and Becky was really interested in being invited to my blog...so I'm going to. She will be the only person from that part of my life with access to it. I'm almost fully represented now.

Okay, I'm tired now. Just watched the first episode of Leave It To Beaver. I never realized how funny these shows are. Now, I'm watching the first episode of Sanford & Son but I think it's time for bed. So wake up and go.

Behaved? Controlled?

The past few days have been good, better than I imagined. Last night went well. We went to an Irish bar, had food and drinks, danced and laughed and I'm happy to say I was in bed by 1:30--and I wasn't drunk.

I was a little nervous about hanging out with this group of friends. Since my decision (in April) to not get drunk anymore, I haven't really been in this kind of situation with them. They are my closest friends and have been since college. The issue is that my friends are pretty heavy drinkers and I was, too. Not to say I drank a ton during the week and every weekend. It was just when we all got together, it was drink after drink after drink. And I'm also not saying it was just because of them. I did it with all my friends because most of my friends are drinkers. Soooo....I think I need to start from the beginning...with the end.

I went to my cousin Greg's wedding in April. I had recently listened to Noel's message about alcohol. I ignored that same message during the reception. My dad and I were egging each other on and the wine was flowing. I went to Joey's after the reception and got sick...really, really sick. I cried, I felt sorry for myself, I puked...and then I cried out to God. I didn't want to do this anymore. I wanted to have control. I wanted to truly be a Christ follower. I wanted to glorify God. I also didn't want to hurt my body.

That was the last time and so far, I've had the control I need. It's true that I could have quit cold turkey and I will if I feel alcohol controlling me. So far, so good. One of the true tests was this weekend with Andy, Ry, and Bek. I had a few drinks over a 5 hour period and probably way too much water. Beks later admitted that she had confided to Andy that she was concerned about me...concerned I wouldn't have enough fun because I wasn't tossing them back. But today she told me something different: "you're still the same Holl." Well...yeah. I mean, I was cutting it up on the dance floor, I was laughing hysterically, I was eating like I would never eat again....but I can see why she was concerned. It is scary when the people we know so well make drastic changes in their lives. I believe my progression has been slow, though.

I'm still a party girl, just not a drunk one. I'm more of a behaved party girl, well, not tonight. Tonight I'm a stay-at-home-watching-TVLand-while her friends are out drinking and watching football-except for Beks who is sleeping already-blogging-type girl.

Eve morning

I'm in Chicago, safe and sound. The boys are still sleeping but Bek and I couldn't lay in bed any longer. We stayed in last night but Ry, Chip and Andy went out. Bek and I slept on the Aerobed and it was oh, so nice. Chip and Ry slept on the floor next to us and Andy slept in his bed on the otherside. Well, that is until Ryan got in bed with Andy. When we woke up, Andy was on the couch downstairs. Ryan went back to his spot on the floor to try to pretend he had been there all along. Becky fell bounced off the Aerobed when she was trying to get back in. A few laughs this morning...good times...I really pray they continue.

It is beautiful outside, windy but I like the sun shining on our world. I feel so safe and blessed. I pray all stays that way as we venture out tonight.

Andy has wireless internet...yay!

God In Action Part 1

If someone asked me if I ever interacted with God, if I ever feel him or know he is there, I would say—heck yes! There are also times when I feel distant from him and I do go through phases of feeling inadequate or unworthy. 2004 has definitely been a year for God and I. Seeing him in action, seeing how time doesn’t exist for him, seeing his planning has left me in awe (and sometimes really pissed).

Story #1
It all came out of taking God’s name in vain. Ben, my former supervisor, and I were evaluating my performance as an employee during my yearly performance review. We were laughing about something and Ben made some comment where he dropped the G.D. word. Suddenly, one of the overhead lights turned off. Ben and I looked at each other a little spooked. “See, Ben, you shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” I said. “You know, I really need to work on that,” Ben said. And then the light came back on. From there we discussed how Ben majored in theology and he really wanted to get back into the bible, praying, discussion…and our bible study was born.

Our first meeting was in January and we had a couple people come. It really ended up being Krissie, Ben and I, though. We would rotate to different restaurants offering happy hour. It was real cute to see us with our bibles surrounded by the half off appetizers and dollar drinks. We really got into some good discussions. We prayed. And then the unthinkable…Ben’s little brother died in March.

I went to the funeral home and met Ben’s mom and step-dad who is a pastor. I introduced myself as one of Ben’s employees, and a friend. I explained that Ben and I had started a bible study, too. His mother hugged me tight and said, “Thank you so much for doing that with him. I really think Ben has grown closer to God over the past couple of months because of the study.” In the months after Simeon’s death, our bible study became more of grief counseling. But we had an established group already, one that met every Tuesday night, even if it was just the three of us. So Ben had an outlet for his grief…and we prayed, and cried, and shared.

Since then, I wonder about God. Was he trying to prepare Ben for this tragedy? Really, Ben has been all over the place in his relationship with God, his faith weak at times and strong, too. As his life continues, though, he has yet to turn his back on God. Even when Ben was angry, he turned toward God and let him have it. I truly see Ben’s life as a testimony for the tried and grief stricken. He has brought God soooo much glory.

Terror

I look at their faces and want to help. I hear them crying out for that help and I want to give it to them. I think about what I am able to really do and all I come up with is prayer and money. I feel weird about praying for some reason. I'm confused by this "act of God." My thinking is that God didn't do it...but he allowed it. Yes, yes, yes, I know he is all knowing so I understand that he has better judgement than I do. I guess I just feel weird praying when I don't know the whole plan. At least this time anyway.

I was at my niece's birthday party when I found out about it from Joey. My step-father said, "you know what your grandfather told me before he died, Holly?" "What?" "He said that every once in awhile, God 'cleans house' with a huge natural disastor. It's almost like he is trying to even the population out again." "Hmmm...." I said, "doesn't sound like the God I'm getting to know." "Well, think about it," Dean replied, "maybe God said, 'sure, this is going to be horrific, but I've got something better for you.'"

Crazy thing is that I didn't even know what a Tsunami was until Christmas night. I got my dad this cool weather alert radio which will go off if there is an emergency. I was looking at all the codes and said, "what is a Tsunami?" My 12-year-old nephew said, "a giant wave you never want to meet. They only happen near Asia." "Oh, cool," I joked, "Dad, this radio will alert you if there is ever a Tsunami." Ha ha. Little did I know, at nearly the same moment, on the otherside of the world, the birth pains were beginning for one of the greatest disastors of our time.

Don't sit there. Do something. Anything. Do it. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

Trip Around The Sun Highlights

Here they are. Some highlights from 2004. I don't have pictures for every highlight but its the best I can do right now. Just wanted you to know I'm not suicidal or anything.

April 2004~Washington D.C.

April 2004~Drank the first Corona ever served at Mt. Vernon

Bradley was adopted by my brother-in-law.

Jaden Catcher was born (and I met Dan and Suzanne)

May 2004~Hanging out with my step-dad (on the left) and my dad (on the right) on my dad's birthday.

My going away party (moved to the Direct Mail department). Vince was crying he was so upset.

Buffett 2004

Buffett

Buffett in Cleveland (my 10th show)

Ben's Going Away Party (Amanda, Ben and Krissie)

Independence Day 2004 at Pretty Lake

Independence Day 2004~Bradley and Lyndsay on Pretty Lake

Summer 2004~Living with the Smith's (Krissie and her brother DSmit).

July 2004~Cain (and Joey) adopted two kitties, Chessie and Hemi.

July 2004~Cain and Chessie

Aug 2004~My friend Kristina's wedding. She credits me with introducing her to her husband. I tried to tell her not to date him.

Aug 2004~Marlene and I at her going away party.

Aug 2004~Cord at Mar's Going Away Party

My new nephew Owen and his mom, Meghan (my step-brother's wife).

My new nephew, Owen.

Tiger's Game

Freakfest 2004~Shelly and I (I'm supposed to be Buddy Holly if you didn't know).

Halloween 2004~my niece Lyndsay and her friend, Jack

2004 Highlights~Valassis Holiday P

Pets

I had to write this. I'm sure I'm the only who thought it was funny.

I'm sitting here with my niece and nephew.
Brad: You know what sucks?
Me: What?
Brad: We can't have any pets. Mom is allergic to cats and dogs, papa won't let us have rodents, Mom says reptiles carry salmonella, and all of my fish committed suicide.
Me: Suicide?
Lyndsay: Yeah, they all jumped out of the tank.
Me: At the same time?
Lyndsay: Pretty much. Monkey see, Monkey do.
Brad: Yeah, and even my favorite one jumped.
Me: What made him so special?
Brad: I don't know. He was just my favorite.

Happy Christmas Eve

Why 2004 Sucked

1.) Melissa’s mom died.
2.) Patrick Schutte died.
3.) Simeon died.
4.) Grandma died.
5.) Margurite died.
6.) Ben moved away.
7.) Marlene moved away.
8.) Andy moved away.
9.) Joey and I broke up.
10.) Dental work.
11.) Went to 1 to 1 department and left the Best Team Ever (which sucked at first).
12.) Lived in a small room for almost the whole year.
13.) Washington D.C.
14.) Jason Brisboe was killed in a car accident.
15.) Bought my first new car but couldn't sell my old one (anyone want to buy a 2000 Impala with only 63,000 miles?)

I'm sure there is more but that is all I could think of right now.

Why 2003 Rocked

It is the year end and I've been thinking a lot about the life I had in 2003 compared to 2004. So, prepare to be bored...

1.) Met up with Joey again after 9 years.
2.) Lived in my own apartment.
3.) Valassis
a. Got my first big bonus
b. Promoted to Program Leader on Pizza Hut team
c. Part of the Best Team Ever: Krissie, Marlene, Kelly, Boz, Geeta, Brenda, & Ben.
d. My co-workers became my closest friends. We had so much fun at work and outside of work, too.
4.) The places I went:
a. Graceland
b. Nashville
c. Cheeseburger In Paradise
d. Chicago
e. Cincinnati
5.) The weddings I attended:
a. Jason & Greta
b. Brandon & Melissa
c. Chip & Stephanie
6.) The weddings I was in:
a. Angie & Patrick (so much fun!)
7.) Happy Hours.
8.) The Blackout of 2003 (yes, I thought it was a blast)
9.) Sold my Grand Am and got an Impala (which would later suck in 2004)
10.) Tailgating at State with Marlene and Joey
11.) Christmas
12.) Cubbies were in the World Series (and I watched almost every game)
13.) Concerts I went to:
a. Buffett @ DTE
b. Buffett in Cinci
c. Beach Boys @ DTE
14.) And the single most significant thing that rocked in 2003 and all the years of my life was that I became a Christ Follower and found a church that I adore (though don't always agree with--much like my family).

Why 2003 Sucked
1.) Becky’s mom died.
2.) Bush and I broke up after 5 years.

Jane Marie

Me: Jane, do you have any spare change for my big, red cup? (Extends cup to receive change.)
Jane: What? Where does the money go?
Me: My bank account.
Jane: Oh, hold on then (looks for money).
Me: No, really it is going to an orphanage in Haiti.
Jane: What? Are you serious?
Me: Yes, Jane...why are you so surprised? Do I not seem like the type?
Jane: (Smiles and keeps smiling) Um.....here you go! (Drops change in cup.)
Me: Thanks, Jane! Now, did you give with joy in your heart?
Jane: Yes...and with feet in my socks.
Me: God wouldn't want it any other way...

Oh...the drama

My niece, who will be 8 on 12/26, forgot her earrings today. She asked her teacher, Mr. Smyth, if he would call her mother and ask to have them dropped off. Can you imagine??? Not only could I have not asked my teacher to do something like that...a male teacher??? Ha! Yeah right! Well....actually, he did it. He called my sister and asked her to bring Lyndsay's earrings by at lunch. So, the little princess got her earrings and all was well in Lyndsay Land.

As a sidenote, I think she was scared the earring holes would close if she didn't have any in and convinced Mr. Smyth this might be a catastrophe of some sort.

Affirmation

I soooo needed to read this today from my friend, Dan:

I'm still reading the new Don Miller book and finding that it is almost exactly what I've been thinking about for my next sermon. The text that I was starting with is Jeremiah 9. God says pretty much "don't boast about what you have, what you know or what you do, but boast that you know me..." It's weird cause it seems we are wired to need/want affirmation in our lives from other people, but when we find our value in that and not God, then we can be boasting in what we do.

Like I've been writing lately, I do need/seek affirmation. Sometimes it is because I want to know if I'm getting it all right. But the truth is...everyone likes to be right. I'm okay with being wrong (sometimes) but...I don't know...a lot of times I look for guidance from other humans who have been at this longer.

I'm going through this crazy "thing" right now. Someone who I've known for almost ever, called me out. They seem to think this part of my life is a phase...that I'm trying to find myself. The accusation almost made me cry. It hurt. I wasn't so much angry but I felt bad that the good which is coming out from God through me, could be washed away with a few simple words. It drives me batty to think that those who are closest to me think I am a Jesus Freak...when really, I haven't changed all THAT much. But I knew this was coming. Jesus said it would.

I remember the teaching that Noel gave about taking up your cross, counting the cost...and hating your family and friends in comparison to your love for God. Of course, these aren't Noel's words, these are Jesus' but it was through Noel that I finally understood: this decision, this following Christ thing, wasn't going to be easy or very popular with my peeps.

For the most part, I've kept all the same friends. I've reached out to them in different ways, let them know the last thing I want is for them to feel like I'm some self-righteous witch out to try to change all of them. I only want to support and be there...and if God uses me to get to some of them, I'll know it. Right now, I'm kind of hanging out and trying to lead by example or something like that.

Two last thoughts (for today): I am still me. I still love to dance, hang out with my friends, have some beer, perhaps a jack and coke, wine. I still love food and sometimes over-eating (gluttony). I still love Buffett and Snopp Dogg and Night Ranger and Ambrosia. I still go to the mall and spend money on myself when I probably shouldn't. I still swear...Occasionally...and yes, it comes from the heart. But none of this matters because none of it is about me anymore. And as freaky as that is for some people to know, it hasn't been about me for some time now. It is about my new best friend, the one I look to, the one I thank for all sorts of things throughout the day, the one who accepts me, the one I sing songs to, and cry to and get mad at and the one who feeds me and uses me and teaches me. It is all about him.

Damn, I wish being a Christ Follower were a cool thing to do...I guess I'll join the rest of you freaks, though :o)

The Dentist

I went to the dentist last week for my bi-annual cleaning. I feel like I own the place I've sunk so much money in it. I've definitely become a princess this year with all the crowns they gave me (ha ha..heh...grumble). But that is what I get for not paying much attention to my teeth.

The visit was a good one, though. I made a commitment to floss every night and I've been very good about it. I was amazed how easy my cleaning went and I now have hope for the future of my mouth. :o) Oh, I don't know if I have any cavities or not...there wasn't enough money left on my insurance to have the dentist take a look. :o)

Disney Princess

You Are Megara
Charming and witty. You are always the first person to come up with a wisecrack. Sure, you have an attitude, but that's why people love you. You keep them on their toes. Sometimes you can be misleading, but always end up doing the right thing for the people you love.

Does this sound like me? Do people love me because I'm a smartass?

I think this is kind of interesting because I can be misleading. For example, it may appear that I am cynical at times but I think what is really happening is I get down about the world around me, the world I used to be apart of, the world I still am a part of. I see people getting hurt over and over but can't get out of their sinning cycles. Sometimes, I get down because I want to protect those that are so dear to me...like Jesus.

I want to clarify that I am not cynical about Christmas. I think I made it clear how much I like the holiday. I think I was going beyond, beyond with my unoriginal ideas, though. I realized Jesus doesn't want me to alienate Christmas if it alienates other people.

Oh, and I don't think I'm cool. I think I am wrong...all of the time...about a lot of ideas. It is pretty interesting sitting next to me in church. I'll hear something which is either completely opposite of something I've said or done....and then there are the days when I smile and say, "Got that one covered, God." I remember during the We Are Ambassadors teaching, the question was asked about our sex lives. I don't remember the exact question, but I knew my answer and I let myself be proud...or maybe I felt a smile beaming on me...or maybe I just felt good for getting that part of my life straightened out and serving God wholly instead of hole-y.

This year has been a struggle...giving up two of my sin areas. But I did it and I feel good because "I always end up doing the right thing for the people I love." And I love God.

Pee In The Snow

This is fun:
Write your name in the snow

December 10th

Today is her birthday and I'm sad. It's rainy and blah outside which fits my mood inside. I hope to get the Memorial DVD my cousin and I made tonight so I can watch it and remember her. I'm also going square dancing tonight with some pals. We are going to crash some square dancing club thing (I think you have to be a member but perhaps they'll feel sorry for me after my sob story and let me join). Anyhow, I'm still going to "celebrate" because she loved her birthday. I know she has a new birthday, though. Kind of weird that the day she died was actually a kind of a birthday, too, because she was born into heaven. At least I hope. I have faith she's there. Still, being left in this gloomy place without her, I'm trying my best to understand she's really gone. My human feelings though feel sad and that it is a little unfair. I don't really understand but I think that is how God made us. He doesn't always want or expect us to understand. But he does expect and want us to have faith and I do.

April 2004 Grandma and I the last time we danced together.

Grandma at Easter time.

My Grandmother (the baby) and her Aunt Mary.

Buffett Part I

My Life in 400 Words or Less by Jimmy Buffett

I broke out of the grip of Catholicism and made it through adolescence without killing myself in a car. I flunked out of college. I learned to play the guitar, lived on the beach, lived in the French Quarter, finally got laid, and didn't go to Vietnam. I got back into school, started a band, got a job on Bourbon Street, graduated from college, flunked my draft physical, broke up my band, and went out on the road solo. I signed a record deal, got married, moved to Nashville, had my guitar stolen, bought a Mercedes, worked at Billboard magazine, put out my first album, went broke, met Jerry Jeff Walker, wrecked the Mercedes, got divorced, and moved to Key West. I sang and worked on a fishing boat, went totally crazy, did a lot of dope, met the right girl, made another record, had a hit, bought a boat, and sailed away to the Caribbean. I started another band, worked the road, had my second and last hit, bought a house in Aspen, started spending summers in New England, got married, broke my leg three times in one year, had a baby girl, made more records, bought a bigger boat, and sailed away to St. Barts. I got separated from the right girl, sold the boat, sold the house in Aspen, moved back to Key West, worked the road, and made more records. I rented an apartment in Paris, went to Brazil for Carnival, learned to fly, went into therapy, quit doing dope, bought my first seaplane, flew all over the Caribbean, almost got a second divorce, moved to Malibu for mer therapy, and got back with the right girl.
I worked the road, moved back to Nashville, took off in an F-14 from an aircraft carrier, bought a summer home on Long Island, had another baby girl. I found the perfect seaplane and moved back to Florida. Cameron Marley joined me in the house of women. I built a home on Long Island, crashed the perfect seaplane in Nantucket, lived through it thanks to navy training, tried to slow down a little, woke up one morning and I was looking at fifty, trying to figure out what comes next.

Buffett in December--A Beautiful Thing

I attended A COASTAL CONFESSION: AN EVENING WITH JIMMY BUFFETT last night at the United Artist movie theater approximately 5 miles from my residence.
And booooo on my friends who didn’t show last night, though none of them read this blog (yet—I’m sure Dan we’ll find out who my friends are and tell them about this boring thing—ha ha on you, Dan). I still found a parrothead friend in the last days so I didn’t have to fly solo.
The show was amazing.

The Coastal Confession took place in New Orleans and had that New Orleans feel to it. Jimmy came out in a long sleeve, button up shirt (not tucked in), jeans, and loafers. He promptly removed his shoes when he sat down to play the first song. It was a change of pace because he didn’t have the full Coral Reefer Band backing him up. He had a piano, two acoustics (him playing one), conga drums, steel drums and back up singers. Very cool and laid back. Buffet unplugged.

There were loud mouths shouting stuff through the whole thing but Jimmy kept his cool. One dude shouted, “Why don’t we get drunk and screw!!” Jimmy shook his head and said, "We do that one in the summer shows.” He followed up with "I remember my first beer…" I almost laughed myself off my chair.

There were a lot of funny moments but don’t want to bore you with all of them (plus I don’t remember). Someone asked about Jimmy’s Little Miss Magic and what she was up to now. Jimmy said, “My Little Miss Magic is STILL IN COLLEGE at 25-years-old!” I guess she is taking film at Miami University. Someone else asked about the link between Deadheads and Parrotheads and also if Jerry Garcia was a closet Parrothead. Buffett said yes and talked about the time when the Grateful Dead played a venue on Thursday & Friday and then the Coral Reefers came and played Saturday & Sunday. Jimmy looked out into the crowd at the Sunday show and could tell who had been to all four concerts. He and Jerry also discussed doing a show together.

I laughed pretty hard when Buffett was finished and went off stage. They forgot to turn his mic off so you heard him say, “How long was that?” “2 hours.” “No shit!” Cut the mic.
The acoustics in the movie theater were excellent. I felt like Jimmy was on a stage in front of me. It really was a cool idea and I would do it again. All of the songs he played were great, too. He covered a Lyle Lovett, James Taylor and the best was “Wind Cries Mary” by Jimi Hendrix.

All of this just reinforced my love for Buffett’s music (and the man himself). Yes, I feel a kinship with someone I’ve never met. Ooooooh, weird you say? But why Jimmy? People can really go either way with him. I’m going to do a study about why he is my favorite artist and you’ll have to suffer through it. Ha ha.

A mother's love...

http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/12/07/octopus.love.ap/index.html
This almost made me cry...

Another One Bites It...

Just kidding, Ben :o)

My friend Ben got engaged and I'm really happy for the two of them. Can't wait to see the kids, either. I hope they come out with brown hair and brown eyes (he and his fiance are extremely fair with blonde hair and blue eyes). Don't forget, Ben, that I'm giving you away so your dad can be the best man. I think that's how it works anyway.

10 People To Meet

I watched 5 People You Meet In Heaven last night. Nope, didn't read the book. I can only handle Mitch Albom in small doses. The program was actually okay. It held my attention while I shredded old paperwork. I was actually wrong about the ending, too. I told the air (because no one was there to hear me) that the little girl Eddie was trying to save, lived (which was correct) but that Eddie would be one of her 5 people someday (I'm positive that was where Mitch was going with this anyhow). Still, I hope heaven isn't like this tale. In fact, I know it probably isn't because Eddie was feeling so much pain. Also, when does he get to meet his maker? Was he trapped in some type of purgatory? Weird.

I sat there hoping to God that when I die, I don't have to roam the halls of Valassis and learn about all the peoples lives I saved and took (my job is so violent at times). Then, I thought, "Who would my five people be?" After panicking for a moment, I decided a better question was "What 10 people would I want to meet?" Not 10 people I would want to see but assuming I could meet anyone in heaven, someone I never met, who? And why 10? Because 5 just doesn't seem like enough and 15 is boring.

1. My Grandpa Beavers--I've only heard stories. I have one picture of him holding me before the cancer got him. I would ask him what his childhood was like, how was it raising my father, was he nervous about building a golf course... I would ask how he felt when he heard I was going to be born and what went through his mind the first time he met me ("get this stinkin kid a new diaper") . I know I wasn't born into a great parental situation so I guess I just wonder what he thought. Then, I would ask him to square dance with me.

2. Laura Ingalls Wilder--I'm a huge fan. Love the books. I have read them more times then I know. I've been to most of the places she lived. I would ask her more about her family, especially Pa. Perhaps she and I could make a quilt together (see, in heaven, I'll know how to sew) or I could listen to her tell stories from when she was growing up.

3. Buddy Holly--I would ask him to sing Rave On or True Love Ways. He would ask me to join in a duet. Then, he would ask me to stop (I don't think I'll ever be able to sing, even in heaven).

4. Abe--I would have so many questions for Abe about the war, growing up, if he really wrestled a wildcat, etc. Then, I would just sit back and listen to him tell funny stories.

5. George Harrison--My favorite Beatle. Perhaps, if John is there, too, they could perform a little concert. I would request songs that George wrote, though.

6. Sim--I only met him once but I think I would ask him what is so darn special about Apple computers. I would also see if he could hook me up with an iPod and all the free music (this is heaven, after all). We would hang out and he would play some G Love songs on his guitar. Then we'd go to the bar and have a drink so we could swap stories about Ben (just kidding). I would tell him how much everyone misses him, how they are trying to live without him, how much he impacted my life...but he would already know.

7. There are two people who I never met but I know they died because of my actions. I would probably just check in, say I'm sorry.

8. Fluffy--please, don't tell me Fluffy Roo isn't in heaven. I know she is there waiting for me.

9. Paul--I would ask Paul sooooooooo many things. You know what they are :o)

10. Of course, the first being I would want to see when I go home, is my God and Jesus. They didn't make an appearance in the movie last night but I hope to see them almost immediately.

Thus concludes my boring list. Any ghost readers out there have a list?

Giftmas

***Another long blog I'm probably really wrong about...just trying to pretend I'm deep--ha!***

Last night, I heard an awesome commentary from John Boykin on NPR. The title of his commentary was “Can the 'Christ' Be Kept in Christmas?”

Boykin began his commentary on how he boycotts the first store to put out Christmas stuff. He began his boycott in October. I rolled my eyes. “Come on, guy,” I thought. I mean, this is Christmas after all. Do you really have to be so self righteous about it? I mean, this guy was totally taking it all the wrong way. But I listened…and it felt like Boykin’s words were feelings and thoughts that had been bottling up inside me for some time.

Boykin said, “If Jesus was God’s way of walking the earth, He is the wrong person to trivialize.” He explained that he wasn’t fighting the commercialism of Christmas (that fight was lost long ago) but that he, Boykin, wants to focus on the “disentanglement” of Jesus from Christmas.

Churches remind us not to forget the “Christ” in Christmas….Boykin wants to free Christ from Christmas altogether.

He contrasted Martin Luther King, Jr. Day with Christmas Day. On MLK Day, we focus on the man, his legacy, the impact he had on society. We don’t even think about his birth. Christmas, Boykin states, has “no time for what the adult Jesus said and did.” Christmas keeps him “safely shut up as a baby in a manger where he can’t make his usual noise about people repenting and living a Godly life.”

This blew me away. I mean, I know all about the retailer focus of Christmas, giving gifts, making others happy, but when you think about it, it really has little to do with who Christ is. For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been thinking about Christmas and what it really means to me. Really, it means getting the perfect gift for someone—someone who already has everything they need and more but also the one who has nothing. But something isn’t quite sitting right this holiday season. It started when Joey and I went to Staples at 6am on Black Friday. We saw a woman publicly berate her mother for not being quick enough in grabbing the last doorbuster item…all in the name of the perfect Christmas gift. Oh, wouldn’t Jesus be proud….

Last night, I saw a risqué commercial for Victoria’s Secret. Women parading around in their skivvies saying, “Tell me I’m sexy, tell me you love me, tell me you want me…get me the perfect Christmas gift…push up bra and matching thong…” I felt disgusted. This is how we celebrate Jesus’ birthday? How much does all of this have to do with our Savior?

Boykin said, “We do him no honor by carting him out once a year and standing him on his head.”

Boykin asked, “Does his birth matter?” Yes, to his followers it is important to celebrate his birth as a way to back up Jesus’ claim of being the son of God. “But Jesus didn’t back up his claim this way. He pointed not to his birth, but to his resurrection.” He blatently said, “Don’t celebrate my life, only my death.” He wanted us to remember him for what he did in the end. We bring out the Easter Bunny to squeeze the significance of that event.

Christmas is easy for non-Christ followers. They don’t have to think about where this baby’s life ended up. They don’t have to remember it was his last three years on earth which mattered the most. They don’t even have to focus on anything he taught us. The truth is that Christmas is about gifts and food and family. The lie is that it is about this little baby who ended up saving us. I mean, if my roommate’s father, a self-proclaimed atheist, can celebrate Christmas, don’t we really know what it ISN’T about?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m not going to celebrate Christmas. I’m not trying to be dogmatic or a scrooge or say there is nothing good about Christmas. There is a lot that is good about it…but the more I learn about Jesus, the more I realize how little he has to do with this holiday. I’m still going to celebrate. I’m still going to give gifts. I’m still going to help out where I can. I’m still going to reflect on that holy night God came into the world as a human baby. And I still like Christmas…a lot.

Boykin’s point of the commentary was not to stop celebrating Christmas, either, but to take Christ out of it because he really has such a small roll in it anyway. Jesus fought hypocrisy and according to Boykin it was not the kind of hypocrisy where you say one thing and do another. It was the hypocrisy of “using God and things of God as a means to some other end…like ohhh…say…making a buck.” He related it to the money changers in the temples. Again, Boykin said he didn’t want to cancel Christmas but he would “trade a month of Christmases for one meaningful Easter.”

After all, “Jesus was not born to be the patron saint of 4th quarter earnings.”

Something for Everyone

Only those who know Jane Marie will think this is funny...maybe.

I walked through the lobby of work the other day and was surprised to see the lobby decorated for the holidays.
Me: Wow! Jane, it looks nice in here.
Jane (receptionist, in her 60s picture a sweet, grandma type lady): Yeah!
Me: You've got the Christmas Tree, the menorahs, the dreidels...
Jane: Something for everyone (smile).
Me: What about the atheists, Jane? What do they get?
Jane: Shit.

Turkey Day 2004

Highlights of my Thanksgiving:

• Getting to Lansing at 2pm on Wednesday before the storm really hit--not a lot of traffic, and pretty smooth sailing.
• Instead of taking advantage of this, I drove to Charlotte, in the worst part of the storm because Fawn and I were supposed to have dinner and I didn't want to cancel (plus she called me a chicken). Quote from Joey: Well, it isn't the smartest thing you've ever done--call me if you go in the ditch.
• Safe and sound at my sister's house by 7pm.
• Watching the parade with Lynds and Brad Thanksgiving morning.
• Brad and I volunteering at the Rescue Mission and getting on the news.
• Brad's prayer at dinner time: Please bless those less fortunate than we are.
• Playing Barbie's with Lyndsay and Bradley (he was bored, he said yes, please--to the two people who might read this, don't make fun of him). Bradley chose to run the grocery store with my old Michael Jackson Barbie. My Barbie went shopping and asked Michael if he wanted to come to her party. Michael paused and said, "Will there be any little boys there?" I about fell over laughing. When did my nephew get tuned in to adult type stories and humor??
• Bradley, Lynds, my mom and I playing Uno over and over again, laughing the whole time.
• Joey coming over to visit and going through the ads with me to figure out what to buy.
• Getting up at 5:15 the next morning to go shopping. It was actually pretty fun and I got most of the things I "needed" to get.
• Falling asleep on the couch for two hours with one niece by my head and one nephew by my feet.

Thus concludes Thanksgiving 2004.

Sad Blog

I never really look forward to working out but yesterday was different. My workout buddy and friend was going to be home for the holidays and I was actually looking forward to seeing him at Bally's. I didn't realize how much I missed him when he moved to Chicago in September. A lot had happened since then. Bottom line is I've worked out twice since he left. But yesterday was supposed to be different. I was really looking forward to seeing him.

I wasn't even worried when I saw two ambulances in front of Bally's.

In fact, I forgot about it as soon as I saw Andy on the cross-trainer. I was greeted with a huge smile and a hug. We did cardio for another 5 minutes and then stretched by the windows overlooking I-96 in Novi.We caught up on things, laughed, joked around, and it all felt so great. We were doing a lap around the track when the announcement came over the P.A.

"In about 5 minutes, we will be closing the men's locker room indefinitely. Please, if you have anything in the locker room, come get it."

"I wonder if this has anything to do with the ambulances," I said. “Maybe it’s the bathrooms,” Andy said. We both shrugged and went to the locker room. I told Andy to just grab his stuff and then we could lift weights. The staff were only letting one person in at a time. I waited for him and studied the faces of the men exiting the locker room and walking out the door.

Andy approached me. His face was white and he appeared shaken. He whispered, "I'm leaving."

"Why? What's going on?" I asked.

"Holly, there is a guy in there…he’s dead…laying on the floor….I have to get out of here.”

I didn't ask anything else. I went and got my stuff and we left promptly. No, the toilets weren't overflowed. No, there wasn't an electrical fire. Someone had died in the locker room of Bally's. Andy told me they had covered his face with a towel, but he was laid out on the floor in front of the lockers. The man’s locker was open and his suit was hanging inside. Andy heard the staff talking, saying they didn't know who the man was, he had no identification on him. The paramedics were saying they had shocked him 15 times but they just couldn't save him.

Andy relayed all of this information to me as we walked to my car. We talked about how sad it was to live your whole life and become unknown, laying in the Bally's locker room. And how horrible for his family, especially around the holidays.We stopped at my car and were about ready to say good-bye when we noticed four men walking in our direction. They were heading for a woman who had just gotten out of the car across from mine.

"Mrs. ---?" She responded, "Yes?"

"Oh my God, Andy," I whispered. It just happened so fast. I could have hopped in my car but I felt frozen. Andy said, "I don't want to see this."

I seriously thought they wouldn't tell her in the parking lot of Bally's but as soon as I the thought entered my mind, her screams of anguish pushed them out. The yells and screams of her pain put my own body into some kind of shock. I couldn't think or move or feel. I desperately whispered to Andy, "Let's go to your car..."

Andy grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the scene. Tears were pushing out of my eyes. The whole way to the car I tried to block out her screams. I thought I was going to puke.We got to the car. I stopped crying and felt numb with shock and then anger. Why Bally's? Why two days before Thanksgiving? Why did they tell her in the parking lot? Why was she all alone?Andy was also in shock. I had never seen him look so sad. He kept apologizing that I had to see all of this, trying to protect me. I told him not to apologize because my life will not forever be changed by this moment, only hers will.

I thought about a lot of things as I drove home from Bally's. I wanted to talk to Ben. I let it ring once and then I hung up. Why open up this wound which is still so fresh for him? After all, HE had a moment like this almost a year ago. I wanted to call Becky. How silly of me again, because two years ago she got the call to come say good-bye to her mother. I called Joey instead.

I tried to shut it out of my mind. Yes, I get to walk away from last night and not have to feel that loss, the ripping away of someone you love so damn much. And I wonder why I got to witness it. This woman will never now I was standing there during the worst moment of her life, but I will forever remember her, maybe not every day, but I'll think of her now and then. I also don't feel lucky. It doesn't want to make me count my blessings because I count them all the time, almost every day. I'm not a fool. I know I'm going to have moments like hers in my life.

Thanksgiving will be ruined for her and her family. As for my family, we celebrate with a somber heart this year. Two seats will be empty and my heart will ache. And I'll think about Ben's dad, Ben, and Stevie...my heart will ache. Sometimes, I feel like I can't wait to be with my heavenly father. He will be the only ONE to take that human ache away. I asked Him for a hug last night, to help me go to sleep. I think it was the first time I ever asked God for a hug. I guess I'll have to wait for it.

Income Alternative

My friend Ryan, a real wild and crazy guy, was laid off in the spring. He finally has a new job by his house and loves it.
Me: So, you really like what you're doing, huh?
Ry: Yup! Love it. But I have this feeling...it isn't going to last.
Me: What do you mean?
Ry: Well...I have this feeling my boss is going to walk in one day and say, "well, thanks for your time everyone but we're going to go ahead and close down."
Me: Seems too good to be real?
Ry: Yeah, something like that...
Me: Well, you've been through it before. You'll get through it again.
Ry: I already have a back up plan.
Me: Wow! Cool, Ryan! Way to be prepared!
Ry: Yup. I'm going to go on the Game Show Circuit.
Me: That seems stable.
Ry: Yeah, I'm going to start with Wheel of Fortune and then move on to The Price Is Right or Millionare.
Me: Ryan, I'm really proud of you for taking charge of your career.
Ry: Thanks, Holl.

United Colonies

This is from my friend who lives in Australia but is a Brit. I'm posting the ones that made me laugh....

In the light of your failure to elect a human as President of the USA
And thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of
Your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth
II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other
territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime
minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who
Have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders)
will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U'
will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the
letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you
will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not
'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will
learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are
welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with
correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler
noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient
form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps'
in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad
Language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop
your Vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as
"Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're
talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as
Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist
in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g.
Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.


6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body
armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
An event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside
of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world
Beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no
longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than
A vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to
Handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish
to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start
driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go
Metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense
of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian
Though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you
insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick
cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is
beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be
more Aggressive with customers.


12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter
Will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known
As "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Donkey
Piss", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser
company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Donkey Piss". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in
Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.


15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank
you for your co-operation.

Virgin Mary and a Grilled Cheese

Kelly sent this to me:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19270&item=5535890757

Here is the retaliation:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19270&item=5536051075

I'm really shocked at how much $$ Mary is going for....

Sweet

My step-mom wrote this to me and it made me smile. No, not that I think it is true but just that it was sweet of her to write. It is regarding her visit to the Garrison Keeler show.

Mesmerizing, funny poignant. A man with his symphony - almost 2 1/2
hours. Few people here know who he is- the thirty year olds think that's
ok since he is in his late 50's. I tell them Holly's known his works for
years - loves his tape on the day Buddy died. Of course they say "Buddy
who?" Sometimes I feel good about the job all your parents and
grandparents did in raising you and opening your mind and peaking your
curiosity. I am glad you allowed your mind to be opened. You have no
idea how far ahead of your contemporaries your are. SO a hug for us and a hug to you.

Northern Lights

I forgot to mention I saw the Northern Lights two Sundays ago. Very cool and a little scary. I guess you have to be in the right place at the right time. I saw them as I turned north onto M5 in the suburbs of Detroit (of all places). It looked like someone painted the sky in long, green strokes. I attached an article about it to prove I'm not crazy (about this, anyway).

http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20041109/NEWS01/411090331/1001/news01

Bumper Sticker

I saw this bumper sticker while driving to church on Sunday morning.

Visualize Whirled Peas

It took me a minute. Then, "Ahhhh...(chuckle)." I just knew these people were on their way to Riverview. I was right.

"We tell others our logic for believing in Jesus, which is based on God's Word. But it's also important to tell them what He has done for us personally." Herb Vander Lugt

Weak Conscience

I was talking to this friend of mine who is a new Christian, and he started saying some far out things to me.

Him: I like clothes.
Me: I do, too.
Him: I like to look good, get dressed up.
Me: So do I.
Him: I think it is important to look good in church, wear a suit and tie.
Me: Huh? You lost me.
Him: Well, I mean, it's respectful.
Me: To whom?
Him: To God.
Me: I'm lost again. Do you think God cares about what you wear? Do you think church is a fashion show?
Him: Well, no...but my pastor went to India and all these little kids showed up at the service dressed in their best clothes, without being told. Isn't that awesome?
Me: No. I'm so lost by what you are saying. God only cares about what is in your heart. Jesus didn't get dressed up. He wore sandels! I mean, you're scaring me here. Do you dress up for your bible study? Do you dress up when you are at home praying?
Him: I don't know, I just think it's respectful.
3 3/4 minutes later...
Him: I think you need to find a religion.
Me: What?! What are you talking about?!
Him: I think you need to take a stand or you'll fall for anything.
Me: Apprantly, you have. No, I'm sorry. I think you are confused, though, about a lot of things. I'm not saying I get it all the time, but when I don't get it, or feel like I'm wrong (or right) I go to the bible. I really think you ought to read the bible tonight.
Him: What part?
Me: The whole thing.

I was blown away by this conversation because then this baby Chrisitian went on to tell me I was closing too many doors by refusing to date a non-Christian, that I might be able to bring them to the Lord. Now, I know my views aren't the same as everyone else's views but really, come on. If you are a Christ follower, follow him! Still, I have to remind myself, that this person is adding things to God, which I do, too. Where I get a little confused is if I need to point these things out to him (which I really want to do) or do as Paul says--don't cause him to sin against himself the things he thinks are sins. Don't cause him to stumble but pray God's word will find him. I mean, God's word finds me all the time. It seeks me out and says, "Yo! Holly! You're soooo wrong about this!"

I know, I know....just another day in the life....

Why did You choose me?

My dad and I were driving along. My dad asked, “Did you hear about the woman who accidentally missed a curve and drove into a lake killing herself and three children? Why would God allow such horrible things to happen?”

Suddenly, I got really quiet. It was like everything I’ve learned flew out the window. I stammered through things about free will, accidents and the devil, not really making a lot of sense. My dad totally called me out on it and then said he didn’t believe in Satan. He asked, “Why would God create an opposite of himself?” Again, I was speechless.

I don't know why that is when I get in front of non-believers, or people who challenge me, or people who are only asking me questions....I clam up. I get intimidated. I feel like I don't want to say the wrong thing or what I'm saying sounds crazy.

Why would God pick me?

Sometimes I wonder about this. So many people are so much better in leading, witnessing, helping others...I suck. I know satan is real. I know God gave him free will to turn against him. Coincidently (wink, wink), those were the answers I was given in Route 66 the next day.

I pray I will have the words to answer my father someday. Maybe try to lead him a little more and not feel so blind by my own feelings of inadequacy.

I was watching the Daily Show and laughed out loud...hard.

John Kerry's Concession Speech: And to all the volunteers all across this country who gave so much of themselves. You know, thanks to William Field, a 6-year-old who collected $680 a quarter and a dollar at a time, selling bracelets during the summer to help change America.
Thanks to Michael Benson from Florida, who I spied in a rope line holding a container of money and it turned out he had raided his piggy bank and wanted to contribute.
And thanks to Ilana Wexler, 11 years old, who started Kids for Kerry all across our country.

Jon Stewert: Oh my God...I know why he lost...they aren't old enough to vote....

The clip is much more funny than me trying to retell...

Kids

Today was my first day helping with Riv Kids. I was a little confused because I was a floater and I wasn't sure what that meant. So, I floated...around...and felt stupid...like what am I doing here? I greeted some first time Riv parents and tried to make them feel as comfortable as possible. I met a little boy and his little Cheetah, Patches. Patches, I found out, loves to do everything his owner likes to do...only a little messier. Very interesting. I think the best part about the whole thing, the part I liked the most, was the very idea which had scared me the most--working with a blind girl. I had been briefed on the situation ahead of time, had enough time to panic to Joey, calm down, and then I was thrown into the situation.

See, this little girl isn't exactly blind. She can see things up close. So it threw me off when her grandmother approached me in the singing room and asked if I would sit with her--Kaitlyn doesn't like the noise. This little girl took me by the hand, led me to the toys and said, "will you play with me?" It was so sweet...I couldn't help but love her immediately. We played with the Noah's Arc animals and then she said, "will you read me a book?" She grabbed a book from the shelf and sat down in my lap. I was stunned. She stayed by my side the whole time and I really learned how well she adapts. Better than I do in some situations.

The worst part of today was the fight I had to break up but I wasn't afraid. I felt right at home with Bradley and Lyndsay. I also noticed "the tone" people use to talk to children. It's like this fake nicey nice tone or this fake "I'm really interested in what you're saying" tone. I had to laugh because of course I do it, too, but I realized while driving Miss Lyndsay to Caesarland, I don't really use it on her much.

One funny little sidenote--Lyndsay and her brother were fighting the night before because apparently Brad had "pinky swore" his sister that he would play a Nintendo game with her. When he refused, the tears came pouring out. I walked into the room and told Lyndsay to quit crying. "But...he...pinky swore!"
"Lyndsay, in real life, there is no such thing as a pinky swear. Bradley, let your yes be yes and your no be no. Jesus said it. Look it up. Quit breaking your sister's heart." And then I left the room taking Lyndsay with me.
24 hours later....at Ceasarland
"Aunt Holly, I'll be back in 5 minutes to eat."
"Do you promise?"
"Yes, I pinky...I mean, my yes is yes and I'll be back."
And she was :)

Spartan Saturday

Yesterday was a good day. I woke up early, with a plan. Cornering my nephew in the living room I asked, "what are you doing today?" "Nothing," was the reply. "Want to go down to the river and tailgate with Poppy? It won't be anything big, just some sandwiches he made, a few games of catch, and a little bit of the band...." "Sure!" Then, the big test was getting by my niece. She was fine with letting us go after I promised we would hang out on Sunday.

Before Bradley and I left, I found myself feeling the part of the cool aunt. "Have you ever driven a car?" I asked him. He said Grandpa Dean had let him steer once. Sooo, I let him drive my car down to the circle and back. Not unsupervised, of course. We practiced first, talked about how the brake was our best friend. We don't need to punch our best friend when we want it to stop, we only need to gently tell our best friend to stop. We fastened our seatbelts and put the car in drive.

Bradley was thrilled. He kept saying things like, "no way" "this is so awesome" "wow." When I told him to slowly stopped, he punched his best friend and we jerked forward due to that whole inertia thing. I smiled, knowing it was his first time and he was a little over excited. I had to help him steer around the circle and took a lot of breaks. We finally made it to his driveway, though I took over from there. As we were trading spots, Jase's mom, (Jase being a friend of Bradley's) drove by. "Did you see the look on her face?!" Bradley boasted. Ah, yes. Letting my nephew drive illegally felt like a finer moment in my life.

I drove down to the stadium and we listened to G Love the whole way there. We made it down to the tree where my dad was talking to a can man. Now, people have mistaken my father for being homeless because...he kind of looks homeless sometimes, so at first I wasn't sure if the guy was telling my dad about a certain shelter he should look into or waiting for my pops to finish off his Molson. After the guy left, with a couple of empty cans, we sat down to eat. We played catch for awhile, my dad re-teaching me how to throw properly. Then, dad and Bradley got into a sword fight with twigs, each man having to one up the other with how big their "twig" was, my dad finally trying to take the tree out and fight with it. All of this and the "my twig is bigger than yours" jokes were actually quite funny but I had to throw in my stern "BOYS. That's enough" a couple of times.

After the band went through, Bradley and I went back to the car and father went into the game. The next high point of the afternoon, after letting my 12-year-old nephew illegally drive, was taking him to Champions, a bar. I had a beer, he had some water, and we were good. We watched the game and played trivia, beating out all the other two players in the bar. We were feeling pretty good about ourselves. We got smoked out and went back to my sister's in time to see State lose. My niece said, "um, aunt Holly, the guys in the white just scored again..." I came rushing out of the bathroom, my heart falling. "Oh, just wonderful."

That night, we went to the Olive Garden for Jeff's birthday...the whole family (almost). Jeff's sister and brother, my sister, the kids, my dad, stepdad, mom, and Joey. It was a lot of fun and great dinner conversation. "So, how drunk did YOU get on your 21st?" At the end of the meal, everyone's tummies were full and we all felt our sides ache from laughing. We got up and started pushing our chairs in to leave. That was when I noticed my father, the slowest eater ever, still taking baby bites of his salad. "Wait! Dad isn't finished." Everyone looked at my father. "That's right....so SIT DOWN!" my father uncharacteristically said. And everyone did. It was pretty funny.

To make this blog longer, I'll discuss what happened when I got home. Bradley and I went through some old photos and laughed ourselves silly at them. I really have a good time with the kid.

I was reading this the other day by Julie Link, a writer for Our Daily Bread:
Christians are to go beyond mere submission to governing authorities and follow the guidelines given in the Bible. In writing to Titus, Paul said we should also be peaceable and considerate, and we should do good without slandering anyone (3:1-2).

Paul stresses the importance of doing good: loving what is good (1:8), teaching what is good (2:3), doing what is good (2:7, 14; 3:1-2, 8, 14). Paul's letter is a timely reminder that as Christians we are to do what is good for people, regardless of whether we approve of their values and agree with their policies.

I was prepared to work, be a Christian, live my life pretty much the same had I woken up yesterday to John Kerry as my new president. I was prepared to do the same for George Bush. I am seeing SO much backlash about this election, though. Perhaps more than the 2000 debacle because it was dragged out for so long, people quit caring. This election was actually over in 28 hours or so. Kind of quick. I think the best part about all of this for me is nothing really changes. I think if we had a new president, my little life still wouldn't change. It only changes when things around me change or I change it. I know in other countries, people base their freedom on who is in charge. I still wake up the same.

Now, here is what is upsetting me a little. People are backlashing against Christian Fundamentalists. I was listening to a Detroit radio talk show (Dominski and Doyle) and every call was full of hate towards Christians. I'm not totally surprised but wow--people might hate Christianity even more. And am I considered a Christian Fundamentalist? I don't think I consider myself one so much but is that only because of the baggage that comes with that term? Do people view me as one? Am I Mandy Moore's character from Saved!???

Where do I draw my line in the sand. I don't want to push people away from Christ by being dogmatic about my beliefs but at the same time, should I vote based on my beliefs? I'm called to love what is good, teach what is good, and do what is good...was I supposed to vote no for Proposal 2? Even if I personally don't agree with Proposal 2? I could not make up my mind if proposal 2 was good or bad but I knew I personally don't agree...and now it is pushing people away from Christianity. I don't think there will ever be peace on this earth. I don't know that I want to be a people pleaser but I don't want to push people away either.

I'm sure my thoughts here were incomplete and choppy but I must go make a living now, in the same world I lived in last week...

Just one more...

http://www.flowgo.com/funpages/view.cfm/6019
Couldn't resist.

Election Day 2004

It's over! Well, for me it is. I voted this morning and that makes my third presidential election I was able to vote in.
1996--voted for Clinton by absentee
2000--voted for Gore but don't really remember the where or how
2004--voted for * at the Walled Lake Fire Station--ha! Still not telling...

My roommate and I did not vote together because she still hasn't changed her address from Wixom. We did get up early to vote, listened to Stars & Stripes, Washington Post, and other patriotic songs, then I took her picture as she left the condo to vote for the first time in her life. Very exciting. Unfortunately, she had a long line to wait in. I did not. I was pulling into work by the time she was finished. Oh, and she didn't even get a sticker. Bummer. I did get a sticker and rewarded myself by purchasing a hashbrown and yogurt parfait from McDonald's. Yes, I still give myself treats.

The 1996 election was a memorable one for me. I was in my junior year at CMU and the VP of the University Democrats. I was also involved with the student radio station and volunteered to broadcast from the Democratic headquarters in Isabella County. I interviewed candidates and called in returns as they appeared on TV. It was pretty cool and I think I still have it on tape somewhere.

Tonight will be different. I'll be sitting on the couch, drinking some red wine, and watching TV with my slippers on. Let some other fired up college student stay up all night, partying, excited, having no clue what they are doing, but feeling like they made a difference somehow.