Check out my new neighborhood.

Me: My life sucks.
Step-dad: Why?
Me: You know...this and that (though I was more specific).
Step: Is that your whole life?
Me: Well...no...but my job sucks, too. I just found out I'm going to be 4,000 pieces short on a job and I know they'll somehow blame it on me.
Step: So what's the worst that could happen?
Me: I get fired!
Step: So....you get fired from a job you don't really like...is that the worst thing?
Me: I wouldn't be able to afford anything.
Step: So....you have to move back home for a little while and find a new job....is that the worst thing?
Me: I guess not.
Step: You know what I think the worst thing would be?
Me: What?
Step: Falling out of favor with God.
Me: (speechless)
Step: I think we just need to do the best we can and rely on him. But I can't wait for the day when I get to heaven and God says, "you did a good job. Come be my friend." How could you ever live here without Him? That, to me, would be the worst thing that could happen.
Me: Wow. Thank you. I needed to hear that.

I went to a funeral yesterday. It wasn't anyone I was close to but someone I knew and had maybe met a few times in my life. She was my grandfather's sister...my great aunt...Pat Head. Yes, that was her name. Patricia Ann Pelham...later Head. She was a strong woman...went to Western Michigan to be a schoolteacher. She would take the bus to Kalamazoo from Jackson. On one such trip, she met a hung over soilder. He was stationed at Fort Custer in Battle Creek but he and his buddies had gone to Jackson for some fun. Half of the group left the same night. The other two guys decided to sleep off their fun and take the Greyhound back the next morning. One of these dudes sat next to Pat on the bus. They were married for 53 years. Crazy.

It seemed strange to be at a funeral of someone I just kind of knew. I definitely felt a lost connection to my past with the stories she knew or the family history only she could retell. I missed my grandfather, too. When his younger brother got up to give a speech, he did so just like grandpa would have...all of the pauses...the punch lines...the words...the tone. I guess this life is about things like this and my time is to be young...but I soak up what could be passed on. The probably makes no sense, so I'm going to bed now.

Me: The colors are supposed to change when you turn this angel on.
Yi: They aren't changing.
Me: (picks up angel and looks at the bottom where the batteries are located) Oh...I see why it isn't working.
Yi: Why?
Me: It's made in China.
Long pause.
Yi: I'm made in China.
Long pause.
Me: Like I said....

Me: Where are your parents?
Ethan (my pastor's kid who is four): Grace is out talking to people. Don't know where Noel is.
Me: Come again?

Guess who just booked it to QD to buy rum before the 9 pm alcohol cut off? Yes...the classy Mr. Corr and HMB. Mmmmm....egg nog......

On another note, I just went to a fabulous Christmas Eve service at Riv. They opend with Feliz Navidad. Come on. You've got to love a church like that.

Merry Christmas.

My best friend Kelly (VRA) and her husband. Does he look familiar to any of you?

Lucky you. I'm SO in the mood to blog.

It is so cool how God talks to me. He will start making things really obvious. Here is what I'm talking about. The other morning I was on my way to work and flipping through the stations. I landed on the Christian station and listened as this song lifted me up and carried me away. My eyes filled with tears and I felt so close to God. I looked at the car next to me. They had a little Jesus fish on their van. I smiled even more even as the van cut me off. The sun was shining on me and as I passed the next car, they had a bumber sticker that said something about living for Jesus. All three signs, all at once.

Tonight was kind of like that, too. I left work on time and traveled down I-94 through Jackson. The sun had set and a bright star was smiling down on us. I smiled back and watched the purples and oranges fade to black. "Hi, God," I whispered. Then, a song came on the radio...it is one I listen to when I feel like nothing. It's called "More" and talks about how much more God loves us than anything else. Next, a car passed me with the license plate "IOUGOD". How cool, I thought. All three signs, all at once.

Okay, I'm tired now. Must go to bed....

My dad and Santa. I don't know why I'm posting this.

Jillian at RivKids

Happy Birthday, Grandma. You would have been 94 on 12/10. I remember visiting you the day this picture was taken. I was giving you your Christmas gifts: a sweater and some Bath & Body hand soap. You hated the sweater ("makes me look fat") and loved the soap (smells good). Go figure. I love you and miss you.

So....I haven't updated in a week. This frustrates me. I only have access to TWO blogs...this irritates me...and probably irritates the bloggers because I've all but moved onto their sites. Ah well. I got a camera phone and have posted some cool pictures. I think they are cool, anyhow. I guess you can take this as a warning...watch out when Holly comes walking toward you with phone in hand...

Yi waiting for the band...no...wait....band already went through....um.....Yi smiling because she loves being my friend...yeah....that's it....

Joey @ 3:12 a.m. in CompUSA...as you can see we are getting a little closer to the checkout...and a lot more sleepy...(ewwww....what's on his face?! That, my friends, is mat burn. If you check your calendar, you'll see wrestling season has begun).

My dad holding Yi's favorite beer while standing on the banks of the Red Cedar...

Lena and Uschi--They are moving back to Germany on Tuesday. As you can see, she is very happy to be going back. I will miss her...the girl who taught me how to say "STOP!" in German, introduced me to Kinder-eggs and encouraged me to "eat the chocolates with whiskey in them."

Joey and a friend

Recurring Dreams

Since I was young, really young, I've had recurring dreams about tornados. The protagonist is the same and the conflict is the same...the scenario changes. I figured this out after documenting the dreams in college. When things were getting really stressful in my life, I would dream about the tornados. The conflict is I can never find a place to hide. I'll dig a ditch that isn't deep enough, I'll go into a basement full of windows, I'll be driving in a car knowing the storm is closing in on me.... I always make it out a life but the terror of it stays with me through the day.

I have a new recurring dream, though the tornado one is still present (I had one last week). In the new dreams, I climb up onto something which doesn't seem so high at first but when I go to get back down, I'm paralyzed with fear. I can't move. I'm helpless. I'm going to fall. These dreams are worse than the tornado ones. I'm acting in the tornado dreams. I'm running, seeking shelter, scared but not paralyzed. The other...well...can't do anything at all.

Any thoughts on this? Have any recurring dreams yourself?

One last thing to say about the CompUSA experience....the time stamp on my receipt was actually 3:48 a.m. I'm 28 minutes more stupid than I originally thought.