It’s been 3 months. I still haven’t finished my wedding day story. So, here I go in three parts. Part 1 being called, “How it all falls apart.”
My last thoughts before falling asleep the night before my wedding were full of so much peace and hope. The alarm was set for 6:30ish and Yi was sleeping beside me…but I was up. I made my way to the window which looked out on the Red Cedar. Could I see the moon before it set? Now I don’t remember if it was the moon or the last star. I do remember talking to God and asking Him to be with me all day long. I prayed for Joel and Noah and all of Susan’s loved ones. I knew they would be waking up to a nightmare of not having her here. I wanted a stress free day. I really did. No…really. But here it goes…blunders and all.
I took a long shower. I remember that. I just stood there under the warm water and let my mind go blank. I used too much conditioner in my hair, too. Huge mistake I would hear about later. I got ready with my girls, had my usual breakfast of Trail Mix Grape Nuts with bananas. Yi, Becky and Jenny were amazing in making sure I was doing okay. Becky even went down to the kitchen to get me skim milk which is why I love Becky Luebke. We put my stuff behind the front desk because the room Joey and I were staying in was occupied. We walked out to the limo-van-bus thing and marveled. Dang that thing was cool.
Kelly and Krissie arrived. We boarded and left for my mom’s work in Holt to get our hair did. I felt like I was floating down the road with my best friends. When we turned into my mom’s work, nerves started attacking me again.
My last thoughts before falling asleep the night before my wedding were full of so much peace and hope. The alarm was set for 6:30ish and Yi was sleeping beside me…but I was up. I made my way to the window which looked out on the Red Cedar. Could I see the moon before it set? Now I don’t remember if it was the moon or the last star. I do remember talking to God and asking Him to be with me all day long. I prayed for Joel and Noah and all of Susan’s loved ones. I knew they would be waking up to a nightmare of not having her here. I wanted a stress free day. I really did. No…really. But here it goes…blunders and all.
I took a long shower. I remember that. I just stood there under the warm water and let my mind go blank. I used too much conditioner in my hair, too. Huge mistake I would hear about later. I got ready with my girls, had my usual breakfast of Trail Mix Grape Nuts with bananas. Yi, Becky and Jenny were amazing in making sure I was doing okay. Becky even went down to the kitchen to get me skim milk which is why I love Becky Luebke. We put my stuff behind the front desk because the room Joey and I were staying in was occupied. We walked out to the limo-van-bus thing and marveled. Dang that thing was cool.
Kelly and Krissie arrived. We boarded and left for my mom’s work in Holt to get our hair did. I felt like I was floating down the road with my best friends. When we turned into my mom’s work, nerves started attacking me again.
The Make-Up and The Hair
Here is the unnecessary background. I wanted Zaina to do my make-up. We had a trial run in January. I wanted another trial run at her house where we could spend more time on it. So, in March, we went over to Z’s house and worked out a make-up plan. During this make-up plan, Zaina started playing with my hair, showing me the different things I could do. I liked it but didn’t have time to talk about hair. We scheduled another time to meet but after several cancelations, it wasn’t until the beginning of May that I finally had Zaina come up with a style for me. I wanted my sides pulled back and loose waves. Simple…but not. Now, in the meantime, my mom wanted to know who was going to do my hair. Remember, my mom is a hairstylist and has been doing hair for 40 years. I was getting married on a Sunday so I was limited to hairstylists. My mom had some of her co-workers and friends come in. I mentioned I might have Liz do my hair. MIGHT. MAYBE. But then I told my mom Zaina was going to do it. The question came: does Zaina have a license to do hair?
Ummmm….she should. But she doesn’t…yet. But so what. Don’t ask don’t tell…right?
We arrived to the salon and Liz immediately started messing with my hair. I felt so uncomfortable. Had my mom not told her Z was doing it? Z was there and ready to go. My mom arrived and told me to just go sit down and let Zaina curl my hair. So I did. Except the curling iron was not working because I had put too much conditioner in my hair. GRRRRRR. My mom pretty much pushed Zaina out of the way and threw hot rollers in. I asked Zaina to just do my make up. When the curlers were ready to come out, I pulled Zaina into the bathroom. We were both feeling icky like, “what the heck is going on with these other people?!” Zaina said, “Just let Liz do your hair. That makes everything easy.”
Here is the unnecessary background. I wanted Zaina to do my make-up. We had a trial run in January. I wanted another trial run at her house where we could spend more time on it. So, in March, we went over to Z’s house and worked out a make-up plan. During this make-up plan, Zaina started playing with my hair, showing me the different things I could do. I liked it but didn’t have time to talk about hair. We scheduled another time to meet but after several cancelations, it wasn’t until the beginning of May that I finally had Zaina come up with a style for me. I wanted my sides pulled back and loose waves. Simple…but not. Now, in the meantime, my mom wanted to know who was going to do my hair. Remember, my mom is a hairstylist and has been doing hair for 40 years. I was getting married on a Sunday so I was limited to hairstylists. My mom had some of her co-workers and friends come in. I mentioned I might have Liz do my hair. MIGHT. MAYBE. But then I told my mom Zaina was going to do it. The question came: does Zaina have a license to do hair?
Ummmm….she should. But she doesn’t…yet. But so what. Don’t ask don’t tell…right?
We arrived to the salon and Liz immediately started messing with my hair. I felt so uncomfortable. Had my mom not told her Z was doing it? Z was there and ready to go. My mom arrived and told me to just go sit down and let Zaina curl my hair. So I did. Except the curling iron was not working because I had put too much conditioner in my hair. GRRRRRR. My mom pretty much pushed Zaina out of the way and threw hot rollers in. I asked Zaina to just do my make up. When the curlers were ready to come out, I pulled Zaina into the bathroom. We were both feeling icky like, “what the heck is going on with these other people?!” Zaina said, “Just let Liz do your hair. That makes everything easy.”
I headed over to Liz’s chair and Jenny was just getting her hair finished. She turned around and everything in me wanted to bust up laughing. And this is why I love Jenny Cole so much. She looked at me with a huge smile and said knowingly, “what is so funny, Holly?” She had a beehive hair do. No lie. Now….it was my turn?!!?! Oh God NO! But I sat down and was subjected to some of the toughest hair pushing and pulling ever. My head hurt. And the curls were horribly tight. When Liz finished, I wanted to cry. It wasn’t Liz’s fault. I never sat down with her to show her what I wanted. But Zaina knew. Zaina whispered in my ear, “don’t worry. I’ll fix it at the church.” And that is why I love Zaina Holcomb. After everyone’s hair and make-up was finished (and after some weirdness over the payments—my mom ended up paying for everyone’s hair—I love my mom) we left to pick up the groom’s sister, Rebecca.
We pulled up in front of the house and my soon-to-be father-in-law came onto the bus to give me a hug. Then, the mom came on, too. But when Rebecca walked out of the house and on to the party bus, I just about lost it. Her hair was exactly how I wanted mine to be done. I whispered to Krissie “that’s the hair I wanted.” My eyes filled with tears. Krissie immediately started running her fingers through the curls to get them to loosen up. This is why I love Krissie Krenz.
Driving to McAllister’s to eat lunch, I tried to calm myself down. I was so thirsty. Krissie and I split a sandwich (I think) and I had a lemonade but it was too sweet. And now, my nerves were really up. I was pretty quiet as we sped back toward the church. I remember Lyndsay just loving the bus ride. She acted like it was all for her which was cute. I saw the church come into view and wanted to throw up from excitement. I wanted my dress on now. I wanted to get the party started.
When we pulled into the drive and parked in front of the church, I got out but was quickly told that the bridal room wasn’t ready. Back on the bus. Man, I was so antsy! Emmalee and Alex Thill got on the bus to give me a hug. Several other popped their head in to wave. We danced and sang and waited. Finally, we could go in. Unfortunately, my dress wasn’t there yet. So, I went back outside and sat on the grassy island in the driveway. This is the spot I had sat in 24 hours before, sobbing for Susan. This was the spot I had sat in so many times…so many times. Becky joined me and we talked about nothing too important. Just having her right there was important enough. Zaina arrived and so did my dress. We went inside.
I think this was when Zaina took my hair out and started to fix it. My sister, God love her, had said, to me before Z got there, “if you want to change your hair, just do it before mom gets here.” That was good for me to hear. My sister and I both understand how personal our mother takes our hair. So Zaina turned to Devon, our wedding coordinator, and said, “when the bride’s mom gets here, we need a warning. Do you know which one she is?” Devon replied, “Yes I do” and left to wait in the lobby. Z took out the hair pins and did my hair over. It was exactly the way I wanted it. I started to get teary and Zaina said, “stop it. You’ll ruin your make-up.” Suddenly, Devon opened the door to our room, closed it and barely had time to say, “bride’s mom….right behind me.” I started laughing a little at the scene. Me, a grown woman, having someone warn me of my mom’s presence, as if my mom would unleash wrath on me or something. Not the case. I simply explained the situation to her. She smoothed out the top and we were good to go. My hair story is finished!
The DJ
Why?!?!?!!? This just really gets me….really. I’m standing there, about to put my wedding dress on when someone hands me the phone and says, “its Amanda.” Now, Amanda is part of the DJ-Photographer-Wedding Coordinator package we received from Rick. Amanda was at my house talking to Joey. “Could you tell me your set list for the wedding?” she asked. Are you kidding me!?!?! Joey and I had submitted it on Friday night. The reception is just in a few hours. I’m about to put my wedding dress on. And I’m being asked what my set list is?! I could barely think straight. I pulled it together as best I could. There was some sort of glitch which I later found out was our DJ. He hadn’t followed up with me. He hadn’t followed up with Joey. I had tried to call him on Thursday. I tried to call him on Saturday. He said he would call back and never did. I was so frustrated. I walked Amanda through what I could remember and then hung up the phone. But my stressors were just beginning.
The Dress
The dress…oh…the dress. What a monster. It was so big. Too big. But there it was, hanging up, waiting for me. I put it on and thought to myself…wow. This is it. This is really happening. My step-mom walked in and I about lost it again. She and my mom had been there when we found the dress. She went to all the fittings. She was there the first time I tried on my dress, not the sample dress. I remember trying that on at Fantastic Finds. I couldn’t breath and started to panic. She kept telling me to calm down. And then the seamstress came into the fitting room. She said to give it a minute and the dress would relax. It did but I couldn’t walk in the thing. The seamstress and I struggled with the hem of the dress. It needed to be shortened but I didn’t want to look like one of those munchkins with the bell dresses. The problem was that when I walked and if I looked down at my feet, the front of the dress would dip down and I would trip forward. I practiced walking over and over. The seamstress said she fixed the issue but we needed to get a hoop to keep the dress off my legs. Christine ordered that, too.
Now, here we were on my wedding day. I put the dress on. It was gorgeous. It fit perfect. I tried to walk in it. Trip. Shit.
I couldn’t walk in it without picking up the front. No worries. I hadn’t put the hoop on, yet and the hoop helped.
The Flowers
Backstory—I screwed this up majorly. I kind of knew what I wanted all of us to carry. I wanted tulips. Everyone told me tulips were out of season by the end of May. I wouldn’t listen. There must be some out there…somewhere. Christine tried. She really did. She bought 100s of bulbs and waited to plant them. But they came up too soon or not at all. I gave up on having tulips as center pieces and agreed to a variety of spring flowers which we purchased 2 days before the wedding at Horrocks. They were beautiful. But what about the flowers the girls were to carry? And me, too?
I waited too long and just wasn’t as involved as I should have been. I felt caught between using the florist Joey’s mom works for or using the florist who has been a client of my mom’s for 100 years. Four months before the wedding, I sent an e-mail to Reta and Christine discussing flowers. Reta told me to set up a meeting with her employer. But I didn’t. I’m kicking myself now…and still but I didn’t do it.
Was it April 1 or May 1 when Joey and I finally rolled into my mom’s client’s flower shop? I can’t remember. I do remember the urgency. I showed the man pictures. We discussed colors and my style. He spit out names of flowers that sounded pretty but didn’t show me any pictures. I told him I wanted tulips. He said he would check on it but probably not. I showed him a picture of the cake and what we wanted as our cake top—just tulips. He said he could order tulips for the topper. Perfect. We discussed the mom’s corsages. He told me that typically mom’s want wrist corsages. I said I would call him back. I really thought we were on the same page. Dang.
I called him back a few days later and said I wanted wrist corsages. He said no luck on the tulips for my bouquets. I wanted roses instead. Why didn’t I look at the contract when he sent it to me? Why????
I was troubled. I wanted pink tulips for my bouquet. I never thought I would care about flowers but there I was…caring away. I sent some pictures of what I wanted to Joey. When he went in to the florist to pay our bill, he gave the pictures to the man we have been working with. Then, Joey insisted on pink tulips for me. Thank you, Lord, for Joey. Here are the pictures Joey showed them:
Fast forward to the wedding. The flowers arrived. I wanted to see them. Devon said we needed to keep them in the water longer but I wanted to see them. And it was time for our pictures to be taken. We went down to the lobby and I have a picture of me and these flowers.
I saw them. I wanted to throw up. I absolutely hated the flowers. They weren’t at all what we had discussed. They didn’t look anything like the pictures I showed the florist. I was so upset but I hid it…momentarily. My bouquet was fine. I really like the pink tulips. But it was on the large side and the flowers were put together in kind of a mess. It was the girl’s bouquets I was completely freaked about. I never, in a million years would have picked these flowers. And there was nothing I could do. And they gave the mom's the pin corsages, not the wrist. We went outside to get pictures taken. I whispered to Krissie “I hate your flowers. That wasn’t what I picked out.” Krissie, God love her, said, “which flowers do you hate? We’ll rip them out and put some of your tulips in there.” Another reason I love Krissie Krenz. Rebecca found out I hated the flowers and told Reta. Reta told me to let it go. It was too late to fix anything. I didn’t even want to look at the flowers. I wanted to focus on my upcoming walk down the aisle. Reta prayed for with me.
The time leading up to the wedding was full of visitors and prayers. Some of my favorite pictures were captured by Yi who shares my need to get memories recorded and preserved. Another reason I love Yi Sun. Devon came in and lined us up. My father took my arm but when I went to walk forward…trip. Oh no. The girls were now out of the room. My dad and I practiced walking but I kept tripping forward. I started to panic. Devon said it was time to go….
Why?!?!?!!? This just really gets me….really. I’m standing there, about to put my wedding dress on when someone hands me the phone and says, “its Amanda.” Now, Amanda is part of the DJ-Photographer-Wedding Coordinator package we received from Rick. Amanda was at my house talking to Joey. “Could you tell me your set list for the wedding?” she asked. Are you kidding me!?!?! Joey and I had submitted it on Friday night. The reception is just in a few hours. I’m about to put my wedding dress on. And I’m being asked what my set list is?! I could barely think straight. I pulled it together as best I could. There was some sort of glitch which I later found out was our DJ. He hadn’t followed up with me. He hadn’t followed up with Joey. I had tried to call him on Thursday. I tried to call him on Saturday. He said he would call back and never did. I was so frustrated. I walked Amanda through what I could remember and then hung up the phone. But my stressors were just beginning.
The Dress
The dress…oh…the dress. What a monster. It was so big. Too big. But there it was, hanging up, waiting for me. I put it on and thought to myself…wow. This is it. This is really happening. My step-mom walked in and I about lost it again. She and my mom had been there when we found the dress. She went to all the fittings. She was there the first time I tried on my dress, not the sample dress. I remember trying that on at Fantastic Finds. I couldn’t breath and started to panic. She kept telling me to calm down. And then the seamstress came into the fitting room. She said to give it a minute and the dress would relax. It did but I couldn’t walk in the thing. The seamstress and I struggled with the hem of the dress. It needed to be shortened but I didn’t want to look like one of those munchkins with the bell dresses. The problem was that when I walked and if I looked down at my feet, the front of the dress would dip down and I would trip forward. I practiced walking over and over. The seamstress said she fixed the issue but we needed to get a hoop to keep the dress off my legs. Christine ordered that, too.
Now, here we were on my wedding day. I put the dress on. It was gorgeous. It fit perfect. I tried to walk in it. Trip. Shit.
I couldn’t walk in it without picking up the front. No worries. I hadn’t put the hoop on, yet and the hoop helped.
The FlowersBackstory—I screwed this up majorly. I kind of knew what I wanted all of us to carry. I wanted tulips. Everyone told me tulips were out of season by the end of May. I wouldn’t listen. There must be some out there…somewhere. Christine tried. She really did. She bought 100s of bulbs and waited to plant them. But they came up too soon or not at all. I gave up on having tulips as center pieces and agreed to a variety of spring flowers which we purchased 2 days before the wedding at Horrocks. They were beautiful. But what about the flowers the girls were to carry? And me, too?
I waited too long and just wasn’t as involved as I should have been. I felt caught between using the florist Joey’s mom works for or using the florist who has been a client of my mom’s for 100 years. Four months before the wedding, I sent an e-mail to Reta and Christine discussing flowers. Reta told me to set up a meeting with her employer. But I didn’t. I’m kicking myself now…and still but I didn’t do it.
Was it April 1 or May 1 when Joey and I finally rolled into my mom’s client’s flower shop? I can’t remember. I do remember the urgency. I showed the man pictures. We discussed colors and my style. He spit out names of flowers that sounded pretty but didn’t show me any pictures. I told him I wanted tulips. He said he would check on it but probably not. I showed him a picture of the cake and what we wanted as our cake top—just tulips. He said he could order tulips for the topper. Perfect. We discussed the mom’s corsages. He told me that typically mom’s want wrist corsages. I said I would call him back. I really thought we were on the same page. Dang.
I called him back a few days later and said I wanted wrist corsages. He said no luck on the tulips for my bouquets. I wanted roses instead. Why didn’t I look at the contract when he sent it to me? Why????
I was troubled. I wanted pink tulips for my bouquet. I never thought I would care about flowers but there I was…caring away. I sent some pictures of what I wanted to Joey. When he went in to the florist to pay our bill, he gave the pictures to the man we have been working with. Then, Joey insisted on pink tulips for me. Thank you, Lord, for Joey. Here are the pictures Joey showed them:
Fast forward to the wedding. The flowers arrived. I wanted to see them. Devon said we needed to keep them in the water longer but I wanted to see them. And it was time for our pictures to be taken. We went down to the lobby and I have a picture of me and these flowers.
I saw them. I wanted to throw up. I absolutely hated the flowers. They weren’t at all what we had discussed. They didn’t look anything like the pictures I showed the florist. I was so upset but I hid it…momentarily. My bouquet was fine. I really like the pink tulips. But it was on the large side and the flowers were put together in kind of a mess. It was the girl’s bouquets I was completely freaked about. I never, in a million years would have picked these flowers. And there was nothing I could do. And they gave the mom's the pin corsages, not the wrist. We went outside to get pictures taken. I whispered to Krissie “I hate your flowers. That wasn’t what I picked out.” Krissie, God love her, said, “which flowers do you hate? We’ll rip them out and put some of your tulips in there.” Another reason I love Krissie Krenz. Rebecca found out I hated the flowers and told Reta. Reta told me to let it go. It was too late to fix anything. I didn’t even want to look at the flowers. I wanted to focus on my upcoming walk down the aisle. Reta prayed for with me.
The time leading up to the wedding was full of visitors and prayers. Some of my favorite pictures were captured by Yi who shares my need to get memories recorded and preserved. Another reason I love Yi Sun. Devon came in and lined us up. My father took my arm but when I went to walk forward…trip. Oh no. The girls were now out of the room. My dad and I practiced walking but I kept tripping forward. I started to panic. Devon said it was time to go….
