I met this girl and she told me her Jesus story. Someone had accused her of not being a Christian. Her response was "bite me." I knew then this girl and I would be friends :o) The question, though, stuck with me along with one I was asked a couple of weeks ago: how does Christ work in your life? Then, Saturday night, I'm riding along with the person who raised me and I blurted out, "Do you think everyone goes to heaven, even if they don't believe in Christ? Do you think all religions are equally right and worship the same God?" I won't tell you the answers I got but let's just say...it made me sad.
So....yeah...I've got a question for you. We toss around this Christian word but what does it mean to be a Christian...to you and to others?
Anyone?
Bueller?
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
I'll regret this post...I already do...
We are going over the Parables at church. I’m glad I’m a Christian but man…I still feel like a failure most of the time. I guess it’s a good thing when Christ points things out to me that I might be doing wrong. Really, I know I’m not a failure but I feel like I do a ton of sh*t wrong. Yeah, I felt like a swear. Anyhow, I really meant to blog more about the Parables but its hard to blog about anything when the stuff that’s on my mind can’t be written about. I guess I’ll ask for prayers for my family…if you could.
I remember the Shattered series when Noel talked about the pieces of the mirror. I know I'm picking up a shard of glass and thinking, "I can't be used." How silly is that? I see God using me in so many ways. I need to get away from the crappy self pity. I guess that's what happens when things continue to fall down around you even when you give it your best...and then when that doesn't work, you start to give nothing at all.
PS: I feel so damn lucky I live in the Midwest. The only thing my home doesn’t protect me from is fire. Other than that, I’m safe in my little bubble. I wish I had the ambition to go down south and actually help them with my own hands. Instead, I put them together and talk to God. I just can’t imagine… Why do I feel so spoiled? I feel like a little brat who’s got everything she could possibly need or want…yet she wants more. I need to change my attitude like right now.
I remember the Shattered series when Noel talked about the pieces of the mirror. I know I'm picking up a shard of glass and thinking, "I can't be used." How silly is that? I see God using me in so many ways. I need to get away from the crappy self pity. I guess that's what happens when things continue to fall down around you even when you give it your best...and then when that doesn't work, you start to give nothing at all.
PS: I feel so damn lucky I live in the Midwest. The only thing my home doesn’t protect me from is fire. Other than that, I’m safe in my little bubble. I wish I had the ambition to go down south and actually help them with my own hands. Instead, I put them together and talk to God. I just can’t imagine… Why do I feel so spoiled? I feel like a little brat who’s got everything she could possibly need or want…yet she wants more. I need to change my attitude like right now.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
Open Letter
Sometimes I write about things and You can see that I’m getting it. You smile on me to encourage my strides. Sometimes, I get cocky, too self-righteous. So You humble me. Sometimes You see how I think I’m right but I’m clearly wrong, either misunderstanding Your word, twisting it to suit my wants, or blatantly ignoring it.
I enter church on Sunday morning, always feeling good about my walk but almost every time, somewhere during the service, I start to get angry. The pastors except so much from us! Last week it was anger management. A time before they talked about being a missionary and this week the topic was about not trying to throw out the non-Christians. Every single week, they point out an area that most of us suck at so I’m constantly feeling like a failure.
You know that crazy pastor You put in a leadership role at Riv? Yeah, You know which one I’m talking about. He taught on parables this weekend. He discussed several of the parables You taught on but the one that really got to me was the one about the weeds and the wheat. I’m sure You know which one I’m referring to. The farmer plants the wheat and then the mean dude comes along and plants the gross weed, mixing up the wheat and the weeds. You said not to pull out the weeds even though when the weeds grew, they would look just like wheat except that the weeds cause diarrhea and vomiting. You want the wheat (Christians) to grow with the weeds (pre-Christians & non-Christians). As your follower, I shouldn’t try to weed people out. If You don’t, what gives me the right? Was I doing this in my rant about homosexuality? Do I do this in my life? Why do I feel like the pastors are talking directly to me? Why do my friends think they are talking directly to them?
This is where the anger starts. Why try if I’m never going to get the whole picture? Why even show up if they are just going to point out all of these areas in which I thought I was doing okay because of a previous teaching but now I find that I suck? Church makes me feel like crap.
So why do I bother? Why do I keep showing up week after week? Why do I look forward not only to the people, but to the music and especially the teaching?
Because of You.
I can safely, confidently, loyally and faithfully answer certain questions when asked. I’m not a poser. You know my heart. You saved my life. You speak to me through these lessons and calm my frustrations. Once I get through my frustrations, I see the lesson You want me to learn (but why so many?!?!).
A question was asked during the service: list your non-Christian friends. I could have gone on and on. My problem was that I didn’t have any Christian friends! I knew I needed some, too and thanks to several programs and to the mission trip, I do now. But back to those pre-Christian friends of mine…
I went to a pig roast on Saturday night. I was a girl surrounded by refugees. They all spoke of sex in a vulgar, disgusting manner. They all talked about getting wasted and how they deserved it. They even spoke of drugs and were under the influence. As I sat around the camp fire, kind of keeping to myself, the following conversation took place:
Woman #1: Can you believe so and so is going to wait until she gets married?!
Woman #2: That’s absurd.
Woman #1: I know! I mean I can’t imagine not knowing if the guy is going to be horrible in bed or not. You’ve got to know before you spend the rest of your life with him!
Me: (ever so sweetly) Well, isn’t it true that even after you get married, it still takes years and years and tons of practice to become sexually compatible?
Woman #1: Well….(thoughtful look of “maybe you have a point”)
Me: I think its awesome that she’s waiting until marriage.
Subject changes.
As I drove home that night, I thought about the difference in hanging out with my Christian friends and my non-Christian friends. I do tend to feel slightly more comfortable with the Christian friends. Some subjects are just off limits because of disrespectful topics. I don’t have to worry about drunkenness or drugs. But the rest is pretty much the same. When I’m with both sets, we laugh and joke and dance and tease. When I’m around the Christians, there isn’t a bunch of God talk. We don’t sit around and sing Kumbia. In fact, we rarely do talk about spirituality (I wonder why that is) but I also know it’s an open door policy. If I say something about You or Christianity, I don’t get weird looks (for the most part). Things definitely are more centered around You.
As I drove home, I thought about the differences in hanging with both groups. I wanted out of the weeds. I considered that perhaps it would be better to only hang with Christ Followers from now on. I punked out. When that crazy guy brought it up Sunday, it made me realize I was wrong. I had forgotten my purpose and You quickly averted me from a self righteous path.
I need to be in the weeds because I teach them by representing You. “We are…Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” 2 Corinthians 5:20. My friends know they can count on me for prayer and a tender understanding of their struggles. When they are feeling lost, they come to me and I try with a God centered ear. Non-Christians will find shelter in Christians. It might even be that I need the weeds. The weeds offer a “real-world” view, if you will. They challenge us and offer us trials which make us stronger. How beautiful.
Thank You, again, for sticking with me. Your love doesn’t seem to run out on me no matter how frustrating I am and this is why I bother. This is how I know my aggravation isn’t directed at the people You’ve chosen to teach us. My anger is really just at myself. I just struggle, along with the rest of the world.
I enter church on Sunday morning, always feeling good about my walk but almost every time, somewhere during the service, I start to get angry. The pastors except so much from us! Last week it was anger management. A time before they talked about being a missionary and this week the topic was about not trying to throw out the non-Christians. Every single week, they point out an area that most of us suck at so I’m constantly feeling like a failure.
You know that crazy pastor You put in a leadership role at Riv? Yeah, You know which one I’m talking about. He taught on parables this weekend. He discussed several of the parables You taught on but the one that really got to me was the one about the weeds and the wheat. I’m sure You know which one I’m referring to. The farmer plants the wheat and then the mean dude comes along and plants the gross weed, mixing up the wheat and the weeds. You said not to pull out the weeds even though when the weeds grew, they would look just like wheat except that the weeds cause diarrhea and vomiting. You want the wheat (Christians) to grow with the weeds (pre-Christians & non-Christians). As your follower, I shouldn’t try to weed people out. If You don’t, what gives me the right? Was I doing this in my rant about homosexuality? Do I do this in my life? Why do I feel like the pastors are talking directly to me? Why do my friends think they are talking directly to them?
This is where the anger starts. Why try if I’m never going to get the whole picture? Why even show up if they are just going to point out all of these areas in which I thought I was doing okay because of a previous teaching but now I find that I suck? Church makes me feel like crap.
So why do I bother? Why do I keep showing up week after week? Why do I look forward not only to the people, but to the music and especially the teaching?
Because of You.
I can safely, confidently, loyally and faithfully answer certain questions when asked. I’m not a poser. You know my heart. You saved my life. You speak to me through these lessons and calm my frustrations. Once I get through my frustrations, I see the lesson You want me to learn (but why so many?!?!).
A question was asked during the service: list your non-Christian friends. I could have gone on and on. My problem was that I didn’t have any Christian friends! I knew I needed some, too and thanks to several programs and to the mission trip, I do now. But back to those pre-Christian friends of mine…
I went to a pig roast on Saturday night. I was a girl surrounded by refugees. They all spoke of sex in a vulgar, disgusting manner. They all talked about getting wasted and how they deserved it. They even spoke of drugs and were under the influence. As I sat around the camp fire, kind of keeping to myself, the following conversation took place:
Woman #1: Can you believe so and so is going to wait until she gets married?!
Woman #2: That’s absurd.
Woman #1: I know! I mean I can’t imagine not knowing if the guy is going to be horrible in bed or not. You’ve got to know before you spend the rest of your life with him!
Me: (ever so sweetly) Well, isn’t it true that even after you get married, it still takes years and years and tons of practice to become sexually compatible?
Woman #1: Well….(thoughtful look of “maybe you have a point”)
Me: I think its awesome that she’s waiting until marriage.
Subject changes.
As I drove home that night, I thought about the difference in hanging out with my Christian friends and my non-Christian friends. I do tend to feel slightly more comfortable with the Christian friends. Some subjects are just off limits because of disrespectful topics. I don’t have to worry about drunkenness or drugs. But the rest is pretty much the same. When I’m with both sets, we laugh and joke and dance and tease. When I’m around the Christians, there isn’t a bunch of God talk. We don’t sit around and sing Kumbia. In fact, we rarely do talk about spirituality (I wonder why that is) but I also know it’s an open door policy. If I say something about You or Christianity, I don’t get weird looks (for the most part). Things definitely are more centered around You.
As I drove home, I thought about the differences in hanging with both groups. I wanted out of the weeds. I considered that perhaps it would be better to only hang with Christ Followers from now on. I punked out. When that crazy guy brought it up Sunday, it made me realize I was wrong. I had forgotten my purpose and You quickly averted me from a self righteous path.
I need to be in the weeds because I teach them by representing You. “We are…Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” 2 Corinthians 5:20. My friends know they can count on me for prayer and a tender understanding of their struggles. When they are feeling lost, they come to me and I try with a God centered ear. Non-Christians will find shelter in Christians. It might even be that I need the weeds. The weeds offer a “real-world” view, if you will. They challenge us and offer us trials which make us stronger. How beautiful.
Thank You, again, for sticking with me. Your love doesn’t seem to run out on me no matter how frustrating I am and this is why I bother. This is how I know my aggravation isn’t directed at the people You’ve chosen to teach us. My anger is really just at myself. I just struggle, along with the rest of the world.
Friday, August 19, 2005
My response to VRA because I have links and don't know how to use html.
Oh boy. I knew it would be you, VRA :) I love you sooooo much. Here are my thoughts on your comments.
First, thank you for all of them! I can see that you care enough to take the time to look things up and see what the church believes. That is awesome of you.
Second: the Bible. Do I agree with the Bible 100%? No. Do I follow the Bible 100%? Well…I try and my desire is to do so. Why? Because I believe the Bible is the clear, direct word of God. He inspired it and wrote it through the prophets. I have faith that if I follow the Bible, I would live a righteous life. Of course, I’m a human who falls short…a lot. I used to think the Bible was full of fables, tales to explain the way things are in a godly view. Now, after taking a class, talking with other Christians, listening to other Christians, even reading and listening to scholars discuss the Bible (oh, and reading the Bible itself), I accept it for what it is. I used to say, “the Bible contradicts itself.” I learned early on from a woman I work with that the Bible does not contradict. If you read it all the way through, the Bible answers itself. When it seems to contradict in the Old Testament (OT) it will fulfill itself in the New (NT). My pastor presented one of the most awesome studies on the Bible to prove the accuracy of the book. I could send you the CD or the PDF of the presentation (its kind of funny) but only if you wanted to see a timeline of the Bible and how it stands up to other early works.
Also, here is something I have learned about God. He and I tend to disagree but who am I to not trust Him? I mean, He’s God. I’m little old me. Dave has an interesting way of explaining the Bible to his youth group. Perhaps he’ll post it. My thing is that I cannot pick and choose from the Bible. That is too wishy-washy. I either believe it or I don’t. I cannot take what I personally like and discard what I don’t. There are lots of things I don’t like but I accept it because it is from God. I once heard a commentator say, “wouldn’t it be cool if we knew what God wanted from us? If we could learn to actually know Him? If we knew what His views are? We do! It’s called the Bible.” He gave it to us to help us. We need to understand who God is. Is He a big Santa Claus in the sky? Is he a fearsome awesome God who is waiting for us to screw up so he can beat us down? The Bible teaches us something different. He is our loving father, but also the Lord of Lords, King of Kings. He created us for HIS purpose, to glorify and love him. We do not conform God to us by picking and choosing from His word. We look at His word and see where we fall short. We live to glorify Him.
Third, the 10 Commandments. This is a tough one, VRA. You’re right that the 10 Commandments do not list anything about homosexuality. Did you know there are more than just 10 commandments? The list goes on and on after Moses gives the first ten. What I have learned about the 10 commandments is that God made them as a measure. He made them knowing we could never meet them. This is a hard concept to understand and it took me a long time to get it. Those commandments show us that we are not God. Jesus came along and did away with the old law by fulfilling it. I did my own study of this by writing out the old commandments and then reading through the gospels (Matt, Mark, Luke, John). Jesus reveals the true intent of Mosaic Law in Matthew 5:17. From there He goes on to explain and fulfill the old law. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense. I know what I'm trying to say but doing so in a response is not the easiest.
Now…the other part of all this. Everyone loves 1Corinthians13 and uses it for their wedding. Most people start reading there. They miss this one. Click here for 1Corinthians 6:9-10. You can even change the version of the Bible if you want. Don’t feel comfortable outside of the King James version? Then you can translate it…anyway you pretty much want…but you can't change the statement itself. It goes on to talk more about sexual immorality. God gives us a choice and we are free to do as we please. But as we know and teach our own children, there are consequences to some of our choices. I urge you to also take a look at Romans 1:24-27 . NOW, while I write all of this, I have no doubt that you think I’m a Jesus Freak. Hear my heart on this: I’m in the same boat as every other sinner. I do not condemn homosexuals for their actions, however I would never knowingly support a brothel or someone's drug habit. Why would I support an organization that suggests gay is good? I want people in general to be loved and understand the love Christ has for all of us but I hope people wouldn't hold me under the water while I'm drowning.
This is such a hot topic. I can’t believe I even tried to respond on a blog. But there it is. I'm posting here rather than just writing you in case I get anything wrong. I don't want to give wrong info. I also encourage you, if you don’t already, to get a Bible you can understand while reading. Joey had to kick me in the butt to get me to use something other than King James. I thought that was the only translation that was true. Not so. It’s just another translation. I have an NIV Bible which has little sections that go into more depth and help you understand the Bible better. It is called a Student Bible and is published by Zondervan. Great times with me and my Bible :)
Oh, I love you, VRA. I really do. I’m glad we can all discuss this with respect for one other. Thanks, Peeps!
First, thank you for all of them! I can see that you care enough to take the time to look things up and see what the church believes. That is awesome of you.
Second: the Bible. Do I agree with the Bible 100%? No. Do I follow the Bible 100%? Well…I try and my desire is to do so. Why? Because I believe the Bible is the clear, direct word of God. He inspired it and wrote it through the prophets. I have faith that if I follow the Bible, I would live a righteous life. Of course, I’m a human who falls short…a lot. I used to think the Bible was full of fables, tales to explain the way things are in a godly view. Now, after taking a class, talking with other Christians, listening to other Christians, even reading and listening to scholars discuss the Bible (oh, and reading the Bible itself), I accept it for what it is. I used to say, “the Bible contradicts itself.” I learned early on from a woman I work with that the Bible does not contradict. If you read it all the way through, the Bible answers itself. When it seems to contradict in the Old Testament (OT) it will fulfill itself in the New (NT). My pastor presented one of the most awesome studies on the Bible to prove the accuracy of the book. I could send you the CD or the PDF of the presentation (its kind of funny) but only if you wanted to see a timeline of the Bible and how it stands up to other early works.
Also, here is something I have learned about God. He and I tend to disagree but who am I to not trust Him? I mean, He’s God. I’m little old me. Dave has an interesting way of explaining the Bible to his youth group. Perhaps he’ll post it. My thing is that I cannot pick and choose from the Bible. That is too wishy-washy. I either believe it or I don’t. I cannot take what I personally like and discard what I don’t. There are lots of things I don’t like but I accept it because it is from God. I once heard a commentator say, “wouldn’t it be cool if we knew what God wanted from us? If we could learn to actually know Him? If we knew what His views are? We do! It’s called the Bible.” He gave it to us to help us. We need to understand who God is. Is He a big Santa Claus in the sky? Is he a fearsome awesome God who is waiting for us to screw up so he can beat us down? The Bible teaches us something different. He is our loving father, but also the Lord of Lords, King of Kings. He created us for HIS purpose, to glorify and love him. We do not conform God to us by picking and choosing from His word. We look at His word and see where we fall short. We live to glorify Him.
Third, the 10 Commandments. This is a tough one, VRA. You’re right that the 10 Commandments do not list anything about homosexuality. Did you know there are more than just 10 commandments? The list goes on and on after Moses gives the first ten. What I have learned about the 10 commandments is that God made them as a measure. He made them knowing we could never meet them. This is a hard concept to understand and it took me a long time to get it. Those commandments show us that we are not God. Jesus came along and did away with the old law by fulfilling it. I did my own study of this by writing out the old commandments and then reading through the gospels (Matt, Mark, Luke, John). Jesus reveals the true intent of Mosaic Law in Matthew 5:17. From there He goes on to explain and fulfill the old law. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense. I know what I'm trying to say but doing so in a response is not the easiest.
Now…the other part of all this. Everyone loves 1Corinthians13 and uses it for their wedding. Most people start reading there. They miss this one. Click here for 1Corinthians 6:9-10. You can even change the version of the Bible if you want. Don’t feel comfortable outside of the King James version? Then you can translate it…anyway you pretty much want…but you can't change the statement itself. It goes on to talk more about sexual immorality. God gives us a choice and we are free to do as we please. But as we know and teach our own children, there are consequences to some of our choices. I urge you to also take a look at Romans 1:24-27 . NOW, while I write all of this, I have no doubt that you think I’m a Jesus Freak. Hear my heart on this: I’m in the same boat as every other sinner. I do not condemn homosexuals for their actions, however I would never knowingly support a brothel or someone's drug habit. Why would I support an organization that suggests gay is good? I want people in general to be loved and understand the love Christ has for all of us but I hope people wouldn't hold me under the water while I'm drowning.
This is such a hot topic. I can’t believe I even tried to respond on a blog. But there it is. I'm posting here rather than just writing you in case I get anything wrong. I don't want to give wrong info. I also encourage you, if you don’t already, to get a Bible you can understand while reading. Joey had to kick me in the butt to get me to use something other than King James. I thought that was the only translation that was true. Not so. It’s just another translation. I have an NIV Bible which has little sections that go into more depth and help you understand the Bible better. It is called a Student Bible and is published by Zondervan. Great times with me and my Bible :)
Oh, I love you, VRA. I really do. I’m glad we can all discuss this with respect for one other. Thanks, Peeps!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Giving Up
I joined my company’s Giving Committee in January. I thought it would be a great opportunity to get involved and help decide where Val is going to give her monies. As a group, we are the company's decision-makers as it relates to philanthropic donations.
There are rules with how we distribute charity, however. Here are a few:
1.) No religious affiliation, although I can’t find this written anywhere…it was definitely discussed and has come up in our meetings.
2.) 80/20 rule: 80% of funds donated must go directly the services the charity provides; only 20% can go toward overhead, staff salaries, etc.
3.) We all have to vote on the charity and agree as a team.
The Giving Committee has offered so much support to global and local organizations. I’m happy that the company I work for cares enough to give back to the community. But today, something happened that really shook me awake and forced me to take a look at what I believe.
Background info: I rarely take a stand on stuff. Everyone is going to have their own opinions anyway…why bother? When it comes to Christianity versus everyone else, I’m getting better at speaking up and discerning truth for others to hear. God uses me to speak for Him…not like a prophet but as a missionary. So, I’ve learned and am still learning how to be in the world but not of the world. My own personal opinions might be to disagree on certain issues but I’ve decided to trust Christ on them. So here we go (and I’m a little nervous to write all of this…please believe me, I’m not a hater).
It was the diversity sector’s turn to speak and the motion came to donate $500 to Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community. I immediately felt uncomfortable. The vote came and I said nothing: neither aye or nay. The motion passed without hesitation. I was shocked to see, right in front of my face, the way things have changed. If it had been my turn and I asked to donate $500 to Worldvision, I would have been turned down because of the religious affiliation. Throw God out. Nullify Him.
I felt sick when I left the meeting. I decided right then and there I was done with the committee (there were some other things going on as well). My buddy Dave, also a Christian brother and member of the committee, sent me an e-mail. He said, “I most certainly did not picture myself giving consent, though no ‘aye’ crossed my lips, to giving $500.00 to people who want to disobey the word of God. I don’t know… Am I being irrational? I thought as a committee we were avoiding charities involving ‘religion’, but sexual preference is evidently the order of the day! Am I the only one who sees the hypocrisy here?”
I did some more research on this organization. Irony here: when I typed Affirmation into Yahoo, it mostly came back with Christian Affirmations. There was one little website though that stuck out. Here is more info:
OUR VISION
Affirmations is the hub of the community. We celebrate wellness, personal growth and development, centered in a state of the art, multi-use facility that is financially secure. (sounds really nice)
OUR MISSION
To provide a welcoming place to everyday people, where they can have fun, learn, socialize, grow, be supported and find acceptance. (Great idea!)
OUR PHILOSOPHY
Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center was founded on the philosophy that "gay is good, you are not alone." This philosophy has expanded to include bisexual and transgender individuals in addition to lesbians and gay men. Affirmations strives to create an atmosphere of safety and acceptance for all people. Our focus is on helping lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals find and develop community where we value and respect our selves and others. Through training in the basic operations of the center, listening, communication, empathy, problem solving, facilitation, and other appropriate skills, interested and dedicated individuals can successfully volunteer at Affirmations. (Whoa, whoa, whoa…)
I want to be very careful here. I am not hating on homosexuals. I have friends who are gay. I love them. We have fun together. But the moment we start discussing sexuality is the moment I have to be real honest: I love you, but I hate the sin. Want to talk about my sin areas and how much God still loves me? Let’s. But if you are a Christ follower, I have to hold you up to the same standard I live under. Bottom line is I just can’t support a place that promotes “gay is good.” I do want people to feel good and comfortable with themselves but….I don’t know. It is just so PC to support homosexuality these days. We are distinguishing differences in each other based on our sexuality. Guess what: I like males! I do not have stickers, t-shirts, support groups, dinners and parades to announce this to the world. Then again, this is acceptable, but being gay is becoming equally acceptable…and if you don’t support it, you’re a hater.
Again, I’m not saying their lifestyle is easy. Maybe God doesn’t want it to be. I don’t know. We definitely need to stop the bashing but what about a different kind of support group…one that takes people in, gives them a home, shows them God’s love…but doesn’t necessarily support what they are doing? Do such places exist? What are we doing as Christians to help in this area? What I see is Satan winning in corporate America.
I know, I know. A little too serious for the blogging world, right? Go ahead and beat me up.
'Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us.' Peter
There are rules with how we distribute charity, however. Here are a few:
1.) No religious affiliation, although I can’t find this written anywhere…it was definitely discussed and has come up in our meetings.
2.) 80/20 rule: 80% of funds donated must go directly the services the charity provides; only 20% can go toward overhead, staff salaries, etc.
3.) We all have to vote on the charity and agree as a team.
The Giving Committee has offered so much support to global and local organizations. I’m happy that the company I work for cares enough to give back to the community. But today, something happened that really shook me awake and forced me to take a look at what I believe.
Background info: I rarely take a stand on stuff. Everyone is going to have their own opinions anyway…why bother? When it comes to Christianity versus everyone else, I’m getting better at speaking up and discerning truth for others to hear. God uses me to speak for Him…not like a prophet but as a missionary. So, I’ve learned and am still learning how to be in the world but not of the world. My own personal opinions might be to disagree on certain issues but I’ve decided to trust Christ on them. So here we go (and I’m a little nervous to write all of this…please believe me, I’m not a hater).
It was the diversity sector’s turn to speak and the motion came to donate $500 to Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community. I immediately felt uncomfortable. The vote came and I said nothing: neither aye or nay. The motion passed without hesitation. I was shocked to see, right in front of my face, the way things have changed. If it had been my turn and I asked to donate $500 to Worldvision, I would have been turned down because of the religious affiliation. Throw God out. Nullify Him.
I felt sick when I left the meeting. I decided right then and there I was done with the committee (there were some other things going on as well). My buddy Dave, also a Christian brother and member of the committee, sent me an e-mail. He said, “I most certainly did not picture myself giving consent, though no ‘aye’ crossed my lips, to giving $500.00 to people who want to disobey the word of God. I don’t know… Am I being irrational? I thought as a committee we were avoiding charities involving ‘religion’, but sexual preference is evidently the order of the day! Am I the only one who sees the hypocrisy here?”
I did some more research on this organization. Irony here: when I typed Affirmation into Yahoo, it mostly came back with Christian Affirmations. There was one little website though that stuck out. Here is more info:
OUR VISION
Affirmations is the hub of the community. We celebrate wellness, personal growth and development, centered in a state of the art, multi-use facility that is financially secure. (sounds really nice)
OUR MISSION
To provide a welcoming place to everyday people, where they can have fun, learn, socialize, grow, be supported and find acceptance. (Great idea!)
OUR PHILOSOPHY
Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center was founded on the philosophy that "gay is good, you are not alone." This philosophy has expanded to include bisexual and transgender individuals in addition to lesbians and gay men. Affirmations strives to create an atmosphere of safety and acceptance for all people. Our focus is on helping lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals find and develop community where we value and respect our selves and others. Through training in the basic operations of the center, listening, communication, empathy, problem solving, facilitation, and other appropriate skills, interested and dedicated individuals can successfully volunteer at Affirmations. (Whoa, whoa, whoa…)
I want to be very careful here. I am not hating on homosexuals. I have friends who are gay. I love them. We have fun together. But the moment we start discussing sexuality is the moment I have to be real honest: I love you, but I hate the sin. Want to talk about my sin areas and how much God still loves me? Let’s. But if you are a Christ follower, I have to hold you up to the same standard I live under. Bottom line is I just can’t support a place that promotes “gay is good.” I do want people to feel good and comfortable with themselves but….I don’t know. It is just so PC to support homosexuality these days. We are distinguishing differences in each other based on our sexuality. Guess what: I like males! I do not have stickers, t-shirts, support groups, dinners and parades to announce this to the world. Then again, this is acceptable, but being gay is becoming equally acceptable…and if you don’t support it, you’re a hater.
Again, I’m not saying their lifestyle is easy. Maybe God doesn’t want it to be. I don’t know. We definitely need to stop the bashing but what about a different kind of support group…one that takes people in, gives them a home, shows them God’s love…but doesn’t necessarily support what they are doing? Do such places exist? What are we doing as Christians to help in this area? What I see is Satan winning in corporate America.
I know, I know. A little too serious for the blogging world, right? Go ahead and beat me up.
'Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us.' Peter
Pretty Lake 2005~Sunday
I slept well Saturday night into Sunday morning. I showered before the others woke and made my way to the speedboat to just sit and read the Bible. While I was sitting there, I looked out onto the lake. It was so beautiful. Prayers were definitely answered. The sky was mainly clear with a few scattered clouds. The sun warmed me and I just kept smiling up at God, thanking him for such peace and beauty. As I studied the lake, I noticed the pontoon boat was gone. The guys had were fishing. I smiled at their obsessions and began to read James 2. Soon, I could hear voices from the kids frolicking on shore. I was safely hidden in the boat, though. Footsteps on the dock caused me to turn from James. Tom was approaching.
“They left without me,” he sighed. I didn’t mean to laugh. Tom just seemed so pathetic. I read him some stuff from James 2 and he agreed. “There must be some sort of lesson God wants you to learn,” I said with a smile. The guys came in to pick Tom up and I returned to reading.
My stomach forced me inside where I found an assortment of breakfast goodies. As I ate, my cousin Ryan and his wife arrived. We chatted and then headed out to the boat. Before we got there, we were stopped by Cory who had returned from the fishing expedition.
“Catch anything?” I asked.
“Uh…no…unless you mean myself.”
“You caught yourself?”
“No, he hooked himself,” Jeff chimed in.
“You got the hook caught when you were casting out?! Ow!” I said.
“No,” Cory explained, “I sat on the hook.”
Apparently, he didn’t just sit on any hook. He sat on a three way hook or something. Jeff had to cut him away from the seat, cut the barb off the hook and then feed the hook through the skin of Cory’s butt. Gretchen was a little upset. “Cory, those were the shorts I ordered for you for Christmas…the ones you wanted so bad…the ones that were back ordered for weeks…” “Glad to see your concern, sweetie,” Cory said.
After Jeff doctored Cory up, we went out tubing. Cory, who is tall, skinny with a full head of hair, tubed with Ryan, who is short, stocky, and…well…less hair. Anyhow, Jeff tried to dump them off the tube but was unsuccessful. Finally, he tried a figure 8 and Ryan started to fly off the tube. Cory reached out at the last second and pulled Ryan back onto the tube. They hit another set of waves and Ryan went flying into the air but Cory managed to hang on. We were laughing so much in the tube…it was awesome. Lyndsay took some more trips on the tube and built her confidence up (thanks to Jimmy who is a swimming coach). Soon, she was putting her chin on her hands and doing a no hands move to show that she was more comfortable. She even convinced Gretchen to go on the tube with us. After our mild ride was finished, I asked Gretchen if she had fun. “Yeah, I did.” “See, Gretchen, you just have to conquer your fears,” Lyndsay explained.
We ended the day with a huge dinner. My uncle had received his bachelor’s degree from Western so Michael brought a cake. We didn’t have the whole family there but it was still a great turnout. Before we left, I went tubing again. Cory tried to dump me but I held on tight, even as I was flying into the air, I would not let go. Cory slowed the boat down and everyone clapped for us. “That was awesome!” they yelled.
I want to live on a lake.
“They left without me,” he sighed. I didn’t mean to laugh. Tom just seemed so pathetic. I read him some stuff from James 2 and he agreed. “There must be some sort of lesson God wants you to learn,” I said with a smile. The guys came in to pick Tom up and I returned to reading.
My stomach forced me inside where I found an assortment of breakfast goodies. As I ate, my cousin Ryan and his wife arrived. We chatted and then headed out to the boat. Before we got there, we were stopped by Cory who had returned from the fishing expedition.
“Catch anything?” I asked.
“Uh…no…unless you mean myself.”
“You caught yourself?”
“No, he hooked himself,” Jeff chimed in.
“You got the hook caught when you were casting out?! Ow!” I said.
“No,” Cory explained, “I sat on the hook.”
Apparently, he didn’t just sit on any hook. He sat on a three way hook or something. Jeff had to cut him away from the seat, cut the barb off the hook and then feed the hook through the skin of Cory’s butt. Gretchen was a little upset. “Cory, those were the shorts I ordered for you for Christmas…the ones you wanted so bad…the ones that were back ordered for weeks…” “Glad to see your concern, sweetie,” Cory said.
After Jeff doctored Cory up, we went out tubing. Cory, who is tall, skinny with a full head of hair, tubed with Ryan, who is short, stocky, and…well…less hair. Anyhow, Jeff tried to dump them off the tube but was unsuccessful. Finally, he tried a figure 8 and Ryan started to fly off the tube. Cory reached out at the last second and pulled Ryan back onto the tube. They hit another set of waves and Ryan went flying into the air but Cory managed to hang on. We were laughing so much in the tube…it was awesome. Lyndsay took some more trips on the tube and built her confidence up (thanks to Jimmy who is a swimming coach). Soon, she was putting her chin on her hands and doing a no hands move to show that she was more comfortable. She even convinced Gretchen to go on the tube with us. After our mild ride was finished, I asked Gretchen if she had fun. “Yeah, I did.” “See, Gretchen, you just have to conquer your fears,” Lyndsay explained.
We ended the day with a huge dinner. My uncle had received his bachelor’s degree from Western so Michael brought a cake. We didn’t have the whole family there but it was still a great turnout. Before we left, I went tubing again. Cory tried to dump me but I held on tight, even as I was flying into the air, I would not let go. Cory slowed the boat down and everyone clapped for us. “That was awesome!” they yelled.
I want to live on a lake.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
The Hitchs are moving to Chicago :( Brandon got a job there so Jaime will be leaving soon. She showed me the website to the church they will be attending. It is called Community Christian and they have several other campuses. The church feels similar to Riv and makes me wonder what God has in store for our church. We now have 5 services. I'm not an old-timer or anything but when I started going to Riv in Feb 2003, there were two services. That's a lot of growth and we all feel it.
Community Christian has a fun page called play. I'm dying to know what these short skits are about. Val has blocked me from knowing. If you check them out, let me know if they are any good. I saw that one of them is about a self baptisim kit.
Community Christian has a fun page called play. I'm dying to know what these short skits are about. Val has blocked me from knowing. If you check them out, let me know if they are any good. I saw that one of them is about a self baptisim kit.
Pretty Lake 2005~Saturday
I woke up in the morning cold, tired and a little wet. Accidental like, I had touched the side of the tent and got a face full of dew drops. Feeling groggy, I stumbled inside the house and changed into my running gear. My aunt was getting coffee and was shocked that I wanted to run around the lake. “Honey, it’s a little over a mile to the stop sign.” I smiled. Perfect.
I put my MP3 player on and started slow, taking in the beautiful morning sky. It was awesome, talking to God, thanking him for such creative detail in the flowers, trees, animals, bugs…actually, there weren’t many bugs. I sped up to a slow jog and listened to some country music followed by some Christian music followed by some Gwen Stefani. It was a relaxing and rewarding jog.
I arrived back to see the two squirts watching TV. Lyndsay is so cute. One of the first things she had learned the night before was how to use the TV. Uncle Ed showed her some stations that she wrote down in her second grade handwriting. What were those stations? Well, of course there was the Disney Channel but the other two made me laugh: The Weather Channel and Discovery, two channels she normally doesn’t care about. “Well, we need to check the weather to make sure its going to be nice out,” she said to me. She could barely contain herself until 11:00 when the no wake time ends on the lake. Jeff taught her how to fish. I took a mid-morning nap in the tent. Soon enough, Jeff was whooping with joy. He had caught a 12 inch bass off the neighbor’s dock. We took pictures. It was great.
My cousin Cory, his wife Gretchen and her brother Jimmy, showed up around noonish. Cory is four months older than I am and a really laid back guy. Almost the moment he arrived, he too was out on the neighbor’s dock fishing. Shortly after, he was yelling and laughing: a 14 inch bass was his. Now, the source of most of the humor isn’t the fact that Cory and Jeff effortlessly caught such big fish in a short amount of time. The humor in this is if you knew Cory’s brother-in-law and Jeff’s co-worker, Tom Turek. Tom has been trying to catch a big fish out of Pretty Lake for something like 10 years. He’s also been into fly fishing lately and traveling around Michigan to catch fish. Doesn’t seem to have the touch. Cory and Jeff saved the fish to show Tom, knowing he would be proud of them. When Tom did show up…well…he just shook his head and pretty much disappeared for the rest of the weekend. We would catch glimpses of him out on the pontoon with a fishing rod in his hand, muttering under his breath.
So, while all of this was going on, my niece, ever so patiently, was ready to go tubing….but the boat wouldn’t start. Crap. First, Jeff tested the battery. Then, they tried a new battery. Lastly, they figured it was the starter so Jeff unscrewed it and drove it into town to have it tested. After two trips to the marina and the time now nearing 5:00, Jeff had the right part and went to work fixing the boat. In the meantime, the neighbor let us use his boat so that a certain little girl who had been looking forward to tubing for a full year wouldn’t freak out. When she got on the tube and the boat started moving, she freaked out. Tears and the whole bit. We took the borrowed boat back in and waited for ours to be fixed. Finally….FINALLY at around 6:00, the boat was ready. We took it out and my little cousin Kaitlyn, her friend Brianne, and my nephew (all thirteen years old) went tubing.
We started getting dinner ready: tinfoil dinners and campfire sandwiches. Let me know if you want more detail on those. After dinner, Tom wanted to take the pontoon out for some nighttime fishing. The next thing he knew, he was surrounded by the 8 other humans wanting to go as well. He and Cory patiently helped the rest learn how to fish. Jeff took off by himself in the row boat wanting nothing to do with that mess. I also went out on the pontoon and just felt free, staring up at the cloudy sky, watching the peaceful ripples of water, smacking some mosquitoes that had found their way through my protective layer of Skintastic. It was so much fun. After an hour, we headed in…bite less.
Everyone except for the kids, gathered around the campfire. Cory said, “hey, Holl, are you ready for my ghost story?” Knowing he had just made it up, I nodded. Here is the story:
Peter and Eleanor Bowers used to own the ice company on Pretty Lake. One winter, Peter came out to cut chunks of ice but he slipped and fell in. By the time rescuers arrived, it was too late. His body was frozen solid. They had no choice but to put him in a bag and hang him in the ice house to wait for spring. His wife, Eleanor, who was pregnant with twins, went mad when they told her Peter was dead. When spring came, some relatives went to get the body to bury it…but it was gone. Eleanor had also disappeared.
Cory paused at this point trying to remember the rest of the tale. I jumped in with… “and every night…about this time of year…when the wind blows in from the north…” Cory laughed. Gretchen jumped in and said, “Wait, Holly. It gets better.” Cory continued.
“Every night, about this time of year, when the dew drops fall on your tent…its Peter, thawing out from his frozen grave…and he’s looking for twelve and thirteen year old kids to replace the ones he lost…”
“That was lame, Cory,” I said. “You think it will scare the kids?” he asked. I just laughed.
There was a karaoke party taking place at the other end of the lake. My uncle wanted to check it out so Tom and I went along. There were mostly drunk people but some really funny teenagers, too. One kid got up and sang “Just My Imagination” and it was pretty bad. Still, he had spirit, swaying to the music and snapping his fingers. When he finished, he yelled out, “Thank you, Pretty Lake!” We clapped. Half an hour later, we headed back, singing our own songs: a little bit of Boat Drinks and a little bit of Merle.
When I returned, Gretchen ran up to me. “Hurry, Holly, Cory’s testing his story out on Tom, Sandy and your sister….there’s even a date now! He keeps adding in new details.”
I slept in the tent with the thirteen year-olds listening to thunder in the distance. It sounded like cannon balls. I had prayed like crazy to give us good weather although the weather channel was calling for rain. I slept soundly, with extra blankets, finally getting a good night’s sleep.
I put my MP3 player on and started slow, taking in the beautiful morning sky. It was awesome, talking to God, thanking him for such creative detail in the flowers, trees, animals, bugs…actually, there weren’t many bugs. I sped up to a slow jog and listened to some country music followed by some Christian music followed by some Gwen Stefani. It was a relaxing and rewarding jog.
I arrived back to see the two squirts watching TV. Lyndsay is so cute. One of the first things she had learned the night before was how to use the TV. Uncle Ed showed her some stations that she wrote down in her second grade handwriting. What were those stations? Well, of course there was the Disney Channel but the other two made me laugh: The Weather Channel and Discovery, two channels she normally doesn’t care about. “Well, we need to check the weather to make sure its going to be nice out,” she said to me. She could barely contain herself until 11:00 when the no wake time ends on the lake. Jeff taught her how to fish. I took a mid-morning nap in the tent. Soon enough, Jeff was whooping with joy. He had caught a 12 inch bass off the neighbor’s dock. We took pictures. It was great.
My cousin Cory, his wife Gretchen and her brother Jimmy, showed up around noonish. Cory is four months older than I am and a really laid back guy. Almost the moment he arrived, he too was out on the neighbor’s dock fishing. Shortly after, he was yelling and laughing: a 14 inch bass was his. Now, the source of most of the humor isn’t the fact that Cory and Jeff effortlessly caught such big fish in a short amount of time. The humor in this is if you knew Cory’s brother-in-law and Jeff’s co-worker, Tom Turek. Tom has been trying to catch a big fish out of Pretty Lake for something like 10 years. He’s also been into fly fishing lately and traveling around Michigan to catch fish. Doesn’t seem to have the touch. Cory and Jeff saved the fish to show Tom, knowing he would be proud of them. When Tom did show up…well…he just shook his head and pretty much disappeared for the rest of the weekend. We would catch glimpses of him out on the pontoon with a fishing rod in his hand, muttering under his breath.
So, while all of this was going on, my niece, ever so patiently, was ready to go tubing….but the boat wouldn’t start. Crap. First, Jeff tested the battery. Then, they tried a new battery. Lastly, they figured it was the starter so Jeff unscrewed it and drove it into town to have it tested. After two trips to the marina and the time now nearing 5:00, Jeff had the right part and went to work fixing the boat. In the meantime, the neighbor let us use his boat so that a certain little girl who had been looking forward to tubing for a full year wouldn’t freak out. When she got on the tube and the boat started moving, she freaked out. Tears and the whole bit. We took the borrowed boat back in and waited for ours to be fixed. Finally….FINALLY at around 6:00, the boat was ready. We took it out and my little cousin Kaitlyn, her friend Brianne, and my nephew (all thirteen years old) went tubing.
We started getting dinner ready: tinfoil dinners and campfire sandwiches. Let me know if you want more detail on those. After dinner, Tom wanted to take the pontoon out for some nighttime fishing. The next thing he knew, he was surrounded by the 8 other humans wanting to go as well. He and Cory patiently helped the rest learn how to fish. Jeff took off by himself in the row boat wanting nothing to do with that mess. I also went out on the pontoon and just felt free, staring up at the cloudy sky, watching the peaceful ripples of water, smacking some mosquitoes that had found their way through my protective layer of Skintastic. It was so much fun. After an hour, we headed in…bite less.
Everyone except for the kids, gathered around the campfire. Cory said, “hey, Holl, are you ready for my ghost story?” Knowing he had just made it up, I nodded. Here is the story:
Peter and Eleanor Bowers used to own the ice company on Pretty Lake. One winter, Peter came out to cut chunks of ice but he slipped and fell in. By the time rescuers arrived, it was too late. His body was frozen solid. They had no choice but to put him in a bag and hang him in the ice house to wait for spring. His wife, Eleanor, who was pregnant with twins, went mad when they told her Peter was dead. When spring came, some relatives went to get the body to bury it…but it was gone. Eleanor had also disappeared.
Cory paused at this point trying to remember the rest of the tale. I jumped in with… “and every night…about this time of year…when the wind blows in from the north…” Cory laughed. Gretchen jumped in and said, “Wait, Holly. It gets better.” Cory continued.
“Every night, about this time of year, when the dew drops fall on your tent…its Peter, thawing out from his frozen grave…and he’s looking for twelve and thirteen year old kids to replace the ones he lost…”
“That was lame, Cory,” I said. “You think it will scare the kids?” he asked. I just laughed.
There was a karaoke party taking place at the other end of the lake. My uncle wanted to check it out so Tom and I went along. There were mostly drunk people but some really funny teenagers, too. One kid got up and sang “Just My Imagination” and it was pretty bad. Still, he had spirit, swaying to the music and snapping his fingers. When he finished, he yelled out, “Thank you, Pretty Lake!” We clapped. Half an hour later, we headed back, singing our own songs: a little bit of Boat Drinks and a little bit of Merle.
When I returned, Gretchen ran up to me. “Hurry, Holly, Cory’s testing his story out on Tom, Sandy and your sister….there’s even a date now! He keeps adding in new details.”
I slept in the tent with the thirteen year-olds listening to thunder in the distance. It sounded like cannon balls. I had prayed like crazy to give us good weather although the weather channel was calling for rain. I slept soundly, with extra blankets, finally getting a good night’s sleep.
Birthdays and Stuff
Happy 5th Birthday to Melvin (at least I think he is 5). Also, happy birthday to Kim (who would have been 32). I always have a little bit of a rough day on August 17th. I tried to change that by adopting a little boy with the same birthday. Yesterday I got a newsletter from World Vision talking about an insect spreading around Honduras. It gets into the people's homes and bites them, passing on a vicious disease. I hope Melvin is protected somehow. I called World Vision last week to see if Melvin's little brother has a sponsor. They are going to find out and let me know. If that is the case, does anyone out there want to sponsor him? Just thought I would ask. Not so sure I can swing two of them but will try if he needs one. I also have a friend at work that might be interested.
Anyhow, I was supposed to have Project KMM finished by this date. What a laugh. I thought I was giving myself too much time but now people are popping up every so often with more pictures or video tape to share. I do want to put a due date on the project, though. I'm still hoping some of Kim's grade school friends will come forward.
Oh, I almost forgot...Happy Birthday to Darrick, too.
Anyhow, I was supposed to have Project KMM finished by this date. What a laugh. I thought I was giving myself too much time but now people are popping up every so often with more pictures or video tape to share. I do want to put a due date on the project, though. I'm still hoping some of Kim's grade school friends will come forward.
Oh, I almost forgot...Happy Birthday to Darrick, too.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Pretty Lake 2005~Friday
I left work early thinking about the head start we were going to get on the other north bound travelers. Not so much. I was going with my brother-in-law, sister, nephew and niece. I guess its hard to pack for a family of four. Not a big deal. We finally got on the road around three…with two other stops. First, Jersey Giant. Second, an hour long shopping spree at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer. I think we finally arrived at Pretty Lake around 5 or 5:30.
I love it up there. It’s about 40 minutes west of Mt. Pleasant, just outside of Mecosta. My grandparents used to live in Remus so I’m familiar with the area besides having my aunt and uncle up there. All of it brings back so many memories. We set up the tent and made tacos for dinner. Lyndsay was disappointed that we weren’t going tubing until tomorrow but we promised her a smore. We cooked them on the grill because everyone was too tired to build a fire. I sat and visited with my aunt Helen. We talked about Grandma and how the one year anniversary of her death was almost here and how she started going downhill a year ago. We both got a little teary. She told me that Don, Grandma’s boyfriend, had died sometime earlier this year. I think they were keeping each other alive. I still get a small flicker of anger when I think about all of it.
I slept in the tent with Jeff, Lyndsay, and Bradley. Did I say I slept? No, I didn’t sleep well. It got pretty cool outside. At one point, around 2:30 a.m., I forced myself to go inside to use the restroom and grab an extra blanket. When I stepped back outside, I gasped. The stars…there were thousands of them. They were so bright and beautiful. I stood in awe of it all…in awe of God. I felt small underneath the immensity. I thought of a line from the song “More”: “I love you more than the stars that are taught how to shine and you shine for me, too.” I smiled. God loves me. Then, I got freaked out by all the nature and crept back into the tent.
I love it up there. It’s about 40 minutes west of Mt. Pleasant, just outside of Mecosta. My grandparents used to live in Remus so I’m familiar with the area besides having my aunt and uncle up there. All of it brings back so many memories. We set up the tent and made tacos for dinner. Lyndsay was disappointed that we weren’t going tubing until tomorrow but we promised her a smore. We cooked them on the grill because everyone was too tired to build a fire. I sat and visited with my aunt Helen. We talked about Grandma and how the one year anniversary of her death was almost here and how she started going downhill a year ago. We both got a little teary. She told me that Don, Grandma’s boyfriend, had died sometime earlier this year. I think they were keeping each other alive. I still get a small flicker of anger when I think about all of it.
I slept in the tent with Jeff, Lyndsay, and Bradley. Did I say I slept? No, I didn’t sleep well. It got pretty cool outside. At one point, around 2:30 a.m., I forced myself to go inside to use the restroom and grab an extra blanket. When I stepped back outside, I gasped. The stars…there were thousands of them. They were so bright and beautiful. I stood in awe of it all…in awe of God. I felt small underneath the immensity. I thought of a line from the song “More”: “I love you more than the stars that are taught how to shine and you shine for me, too.” I smiled. God loves me. Then, I got freaked out by all the nature and crept back into the tent.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Chai Tea Accident
The cup was on the counter. The Chai Tea mix was waiting for the milk in the bottom of the cup. All I had to do was pour the milk in, place it in the microwave and Voila—Chai Tea happiness. When pouring in the milk, I though I smelled something sour. Could it be….is the milk bad?? I leaned over to smell the milk but just as I did this, my hair fell in front of my eyes, obstructing my view. Wham. My lip hit the cup, my teeth hit my lip….ow. Big ow. I actually thought I was going to cry. The inside of my lip was cut a little from the teeth and my lip started to swell. I iced it for the rest of the day and today you can’t even tell. But now you know what an idiot I can be sometimes.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Ish and Stuff
I drove to the Jackson County Fair yesterday to see Ish play. Ish is a band that plays at Riverview or to say this differently, Ish is a Riverview band that made their own album. This guy I know, Dan, is the lead singer (dare I call him a friend? I don’t know…. J). Ish did such a fab job. I was truly impressed and happy for the music they make and the way the songs praise God yet still capture our human sufferings. They also covered the U2 song “All I Want Is You” which used to be my favorite songs a couple of moons ago.
Many people came out to see Ish and even passer-bys stopped to check them out…until the sprinklers turned on chasing many from their seats. I sat in the 4th or 5th row surrounded by the usuals. What’s crazy is one by one, people got up and went to stand in the back…except me. I went from being surrounded by people to being the only one sitting in the first 8 rows. I laughed because…well…it was kind of funny. Still, there were the two women in the front row…well…some of you know what happened next. It made me laugh harder and I had to get up and leave.
Noel showed up and offered Joey two tickets to see Switchfoot later that evening. As I was standing there, I hemmed and hawed because of the drive back home. The tickets were second row center…how could I pass it up? Never again…but I’ll get to that later. We had two hours to waste before the concert so Joey and I went into the fair.
Wow. I have really missed it. I loved the fair growing up. We begged to go all week but usually had to wait until Thursday, my mom’s day off. We would ride a few rides but I remember playing the games with my mom, eating in the beer tent and looking at the animals. Every year, we left the fair as the twilight fell and the lights came up. I was mesmerized by all of the lights. Our parents bought us each an elephant ear and we would stay up watching reruns of Gidget while we ate. As us kids got older, we would split up and do our own thing with our friends, Fawn and I usually were together. Our friends were in 4-H but we weren’t and I never was…but I kind of wanted to. We would look at the crafts our friends and classmates made, marveling at all the cool things they did. The fair was a place to have fun, flirt with boys, enjoy the summer. We went to the 4-H dances with our 4-H friends and even camped out with them in the back of the fairgrounds. I’m sure some (well, one) who read this site have a couple of crazy fair stories with me in them. But anyway….
I ate a pastie on a stick and half of a caramel apple, drank some lemonade and had a few bites of Suzanne’s elephant ear (she forced me to). Joe and I walked around the fair looking at all the animals. The pigs were loud and obnoxious. I liked the goats, though. One of them insisted on us petting him over and over. The sheep were boring but the chickens were actually a good time. They had several types of chickens: ones with fluffy heads, colorful, big… We ran into Dan and Suzanne as they were coming out from backstage having just met Switchfoot. We hung out for a little while before we went into the concert. I told the story about showing up a week early for the Lori Morgan concert back in 1994. Got my dates a little confused. And now…my review of the Switchfoot concert.
They had the rows and seats jammed packed in there. Even in my seat, I could barely move because the guy next to me overlapped his seat a bit. We had awesome seats, really we did but when Switchfoot finally came on a little after nine, I realized I shouldn’t be there. I know three of their songs. The songs they played that I didn’t know, I liked but I’m not a loyal fan. I kept thinking about the jackasses with second row tickets at Buffett who only go because they are second row tickets. Come on! Find me! I would love to sit in the second row at Buffett or any other group that I really dig. I saw the kids around me who were so fired up for this band. I wasn’t. The music was excellent and the lead singer seemed to really get into the people who knew the lyrics to the songs. I just stared straight ahead, kind of moving to the music. But it was hot and I had a long ride ahead of me. Yeah, we left after half an hour. I’m glad I went but I’m glad we left when we did.
My drive home went fairly well. I stopped for gasoline outside of Ann Arbor. $2.39! Whoo-hoo! What a deal. Then I listened to the reports of the chemical plant explosion. When that got boring, I accidentally found the Dr. Laura show. Oh, how I miss Dr. Laura. I used to listen to her every day. She really set me straight on what it means to be a wife and a parent. Because of her, I want to be a stay at home mom. I got home at 11pm and fell into bed.
Many people came out to see Ish and even passer-bys stopped to check them out…until the sprinklers turned on chasing many from their seats. I sat in the 4th or 5th row surrounded by the usuals. What’s crazy is one by one, people got up and went to stand in the back…except me. I went from being surrounded by people to being the only one sitting in the first 8 rows. I laughed because…well…it was kind of funny. Still, there were the two women in the front row…well…some of you know what happened next. It made me laugh harder and I had to get up and leave.
Noel showed up and offered Joey two tickets to see Switchfoot later that evening. As I was standing there, I hemmed and hawed because of the drive back home. The tickets were second row center…how could I pass it up? Never again…but I’ll get to that later. We had two hours to waste before the concert so Joey and I went into the fair.
Wow. I have really missed it. I loved the fair growing up. We begged to go all week but usually had to wait until Thursday, my mom’s day off. We would ride a few rides but I remember playing the games with my mom, eating in the beer tent and looking at the animals. Every year, we left the fair as the twilight fell and the lights came up. I was mesmerized by all of the lights. Our parents bought us each an elephant ear and we would stay up watching reruns of Gidget while we ate. As us kids got older, we would split up and do our own thing with our friends, Fawn and I usually were together. Our friends were in 4-H but we weren’t and I never was…but I kind of wanted to. We would look at the crafts our friends and classmates made, marveling at all the cool things they did. The fair was a place to have fun, flirt with boys, enjoy the summer. We went to the 4-H dances with our 4-H friends and even camped out with them in the back of the fairgrounds. I’m sure some (well, one) who read this site have a couple of crazy fair stories with me in them. But anyway….
I ate a pastie on a stick and half of a caramel apple, drank some lemonade and had a few bites of Suzanne’s elephant ear (she forced me to). Joe and I walked around the fair looking at all the animals. The pigs were loud and obnoxious. I liked the goats, though. One of them insisted on us petting him over and over. The sheep were boring but the chickens were actually a good time. They had several types of chickens: ones with fluffy heads, colorful, big… We ran into Dan and Suzanne as they were coming out from backstage having just met Switchfoot. We hung out for a little while before we went into the concert. I told the story about showing up a week early for the Lori Morgan concert back in 1994. Got my dates a little confused. And now…my review of the Switchfoot concert.
They had the rows and seats jammed packed in there. Even in my seat, I could barely move because the guy next to me overlapped his seat a bit. We had awesome seats, really we did but when Switchfoot finally came on a little after nine, I realized I shouldn’t be there. I know three of their songs. The songs they played that I didn’t know, I liked but I’m not a loyal fan. I kept thinking about the jackasses with second row tickets at Buffett who only go because they are second row tickets. Come on! Find me! I would love to sit in the second row at Buffett or any other group that I really dig. I saw the kids around me who were so fired up for this band. I wasn’t. The music was excellent and the lead singer seemed to really get into the people who knew the lyrics to the songs. I just stared straight ahead, kind of moving to the music. But it was hot and I had a long ride ahead of me. Yeah, we left after half an hour. I’m glad I went but I’m glad we left when we did.
My drive home went fairly well. I stopped for gasoline outside of Ann Arbor. $2.39! Whoo-hoo! What a deal. Then I listened to the reports of the chemical plant explosion. When that got boring, I accidentally found the Dr. Laura show. Oh, how I miss Dr. Laura. I used to listen to her every day. She really set me straight on what it means to be a wife and a parent. Because of her, I want to be a stay at home mom. I got home at 11pm and fell into bed.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Lunch At Val
My brain said, "eat the frozen ravioli meal in the freezer."
My stomach said, "buy mashed potatoes and soup from downstairs."
My stomach won.
So I went downstairs and ordered my cup of soup, paying in quarters, of course. Then I asked for the mashed potatoes.
"We aren't selling those separately, yet."
"Okay...when will you be?"
"In about 10 minutes."
"Okay...I guess I'll come back then."
Jane Marie pulled up on her motorized cart and ordered the full meal. I wandered over to the vending machines.
"Jane, should I buy yogurt or fruit?"
"Yogurt."
"Why?"
"Well....the yogurt has fruit in it, right?"
"Hmmm....makes sense to me."
So I purchased the yogurt, with quarters, of course.
Then I turned toward the cafeteria and saw the press operators sitting there, watching The Three Stooges. Oh...what good times.
As I turned to leave, the food guy said, "Miss, I can sell you the mashed potatoes now."
"Excellent," I said as I handed him four quarters.
Now I sit here, listening to "Blame It On The Rain" by Milli Vanilli and boring you to death with my lunch story. Oh...what good times.
My stomach said, "buy mashed potatoes and soup from downstairs."
My stomach won.
So I went downstairs and ordered my cup of soup, paying in quarters, of course. Then I asked for the mashed potatoes.
"We aren't selling those separately, yet."
"Okay...when will you be?"
"In about 10 minutes."
"Okay...I guess I'll come back then."
Jane Marie pulled up on her motorized cart and ordered the full meal. I wandered over to the vending machines.
"Jane, should I buy yogurt or fruit?"
"Yogurt."
"Why?"
"Well....the yogurt has fruit in it, right?"
"Hmmm....makes sense to me."
So I purchased the yogurt, with quarters, of course.
Then I turned toward the cafeteria and saw the press operators sitting there, watching The Three Stooges. Oh...what good times.
As I turned to leave, the food guy said, "Miss, I can sell you the mashed potatoes now."
"Excellent," I said as I handed him four quarters.
Now I sit here, listening to "Blame It On The Rain" by Milli Vanilli and boring you to death with my lunch story. Oh...what good times.
Teach me, Show me
I prayed a prayer a couple of weekends ago while laying on an air mattress in Chicago.
“Lord…teach me something I haven’t been learning, something You want me to get but I’m turning from. Show me where You want me to grow. Teach me. Tell me.”
The next day I left Chicago and as I was speeding toward to Lansing, I checked my voicemail. It was Krissie.
“Holly, one of the couches won’t fit down the stairs. It’s sitting in the middle of the living room. I’m really sorry. Not sure what you want to do…get a storage locker…I don’t know. Talk to you soon. Bye.”
My stomach dropped. Wonderful. I have had this furniture set since probably 1999, sold to me by someone close. The furniture is still nice, though getting a little drab from all of my moves. It has survived 3 moves locally and then in Joey’s upstairs for a year. It has been sitting in my neighbor’s basement since last August. I always had the intention of moving it into the condo basement but there wasn’t any urgency…until last Wednesday when Krissie said, “we need to move your furniture out of Jimmy’s basement this weekend.”
“I won’t be here.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Sorry…thanks.”
I prayed, “please, just help me figure this one out, God. It isn’t a huge deal, I know but still….”
My cell phone rang. It was Andy. I explained the situation. He said, “well, you know Russ has a storage unit in Madison Heights, right?”
“Um, no.”
"Yeah, he does but now that I think about it, I think its pretty full.”
“Of course it is,” I sighed.
I arrived to my dad’s to pick up my laptop.
“How was your trip?”
“Fun. Do you want a new couch?”
“No.”
“Ok.”
Then my step-mom said a bunch of stuff about letting go of things and to just sell it but really, I didn’t want to sell it. I got home late Sunday night and my stomach sank further. There was my couch in the middle of the living room. I went to work, bumming a bit, and talked to Dana about the situation. Getting a storage unit for just a couch was out of the question. I could sell it but if I buy a condo in a year or two, I don’t want to worry about getting furniture again. I still like the set and got it for such a good price. Even if I do sell it though, I have to figure out how long it will take and blah, blah, blah…. Dana said she might be able to store it in her basement but I didn’t want to burden her. What I really wanted to do was call him. But no. No, no, no. I wasn’t going to always rely on someone else to solve my little issues.
That night, I asked Krissie for time to figure out what I was going to do. She hesitated but said the couch could stay for a couple of weeks. I felt so bad. I knew she didn’t want it in the living room anymore but I just wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I went up to my bedroom to lay down and think. I checked my cell phone. There was a message from Russ. No way. He was inviting me to a bar-b-que. No way! I called him back and we discussed his invite. Then, taking a deep breath, I said,
“Soooo….Russ….you have a storage unit, right?”
“Yup, I sure do. Why? What do you have?”
“A couch. We tried to move into the basement but it won’t fit down the stairs….”
“Sure! No problem! I’ve got a lot of room. When do you want to move it in?”
As I hung up the phone, I smiled. I had prayed a prayer for God to teach me something, something I wasn’t learning, not getting. Could this lesson be that I can solve my own problems without always turning and running toward...? Is the lesson that my friends love me and I really can turn to them?
Last night, Krissie, Bennie and I loaded the couch into Jimmy’s F-150 and I drove to Russ’ house to get him. We met Ryan at the storage facility and my two friends helped me. They hugged me and smiled at me. They weren’t put out. They were happy to help. I kept thanking them over and over but they wouldn’t hear it. “No problem” was what they said. I felt strong. I felt more confidence in myself. I felt the love of my friends, the ones God placed in my life 8 years ago.
Problem solved for now, God. Waiting for the next lesson….
“Lord…teach me something I haven’t been learning, something You want me to get but I’m turning from. Show me where You want me to grow. Teach me. Tell me.”
The next day I left Chicago and as I was speeding toward to Lansing, I checked my voicemail. It was Krissie.
“Holly, one of the couches won’t fit down the stairs. It’s sitting in the middle of the living room. I’m really sorry. Not sure what you want to do…get a storage locker…I don’t know. Talk to you soon. Bye.”
My stomach dropped. Wonderful. I have had this furniture set since probably 1999, sold to me by someone close. The furniture is still nice, though getting a little drab from all of my moves. It has survived 3 moves locally and then in Joey’s upstairs for a year. It has been sitting in my neighbor’s basement since last August. I always had the intention of moving it into the condo basement but there wasn’t any urgency…until last Wednesday when Krissie said, “we need to move your furniture out of Jimmy’s basement this weekend.”
“I won’t be here.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Sorry…thanks.”
I prayed, “please, just help me figure this one out, God. It isn’t a huge deal, I know but still….”
My cell phone rang. It was Andy. I explained the situation. He said, “well, you know Russ has a storage unit in Madison Heights, right?”
“Um, no.”
"Yeah, he does but now that I think about it, I think its pretty full.”
“Of course it is,” I sighed.
I arrived to my dad’s to pick up my laptop.
“How was your trip?”
“Fun. Do you want a new couch?”
“No.”
“Ok.”
Then my step-mom said a bunch of stuff about letting go of things and to just sell it but really, I didn’t want to sell it. I got home late Sunday night and my stomach sank further. There was my couch in the middle of the living room. I went to work, bumming a bit, and talked to Dana about the situation. Getting a storage unit for just a couch was out of the question. I could sell it but if I buy a condo in a year or two, I don’t want to worry about getting furniture again. I still like the set and got it for such a good price. Even if I do sell it though, I have to figure out how long it will take and blah, blah, blah…. Dana said she might be able to store it in her basement but I didn’t want to burden her. What I really wanted to do was call him. But no. No, no, no. I wasn’t going to always rely on someone else to solve my little issues.
That night, I asked Krissie for time to figure out what I was going to do. She hesitated but said the couch could stay for a couple of weeks. I felt so bad. I knew she didn’t want it in the living room anymore but I just wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I went up to my bedroom to lay down and think. I checked my cell phone. There was a message from Russ. No way. He was inviting me to a bar-b-que. No way! I called him back and we discussed his invite. Then, taking a deep breath, I said,
“Soooo….Russ….you have a storage unit, right?”
“Yup, I sure do. Why? What do you have?”
“A couch. We tried to move into the basement but it won’t fit down the stairs….”
“Sure! No problem! I’ve got a lot of room. When do you want to move it in?”
As I hung up the phone, I smiled. I had prayed a prayer for God to teach me something, something I wasn’t learning, not getting. Could this lesson be that I can solve my own problems without always turning and running toward...? Is the lesson that my friends love me and I really can turn to them?
Last night, Krissie, Bennie and I loaded the couch into Jimmy’s F-150 and I drove to Russ’ house to get him. We met Ryan at the storage facility and my two friends helped me. They hugged me and smiled at me. They weren’t put out. They were happy to help. I kept thanking them over and over but they wouldn’t hear it. “No problem” was what they said. I felt strong. I felt more confidence in myself. I felt the love of my friends, the ones God placed in my life 8 years ago.
Problem solved for now, God. Waiting for the next lesson….
Monday, August 08, 2005
The Baby
I like being the youngest. I really do. It used to be a small sore spot because the oldest gets the cool hand me downs from our ancestors. I quit caring about that a few years ago because if I get a serving dish that was my great-grandma’s…then, cool, but if not, so what. Like I said, the only thing I want to take to heaven is Blanket. Digressing….
I woke up Sunday morning and stumbled out of my bedroom. My mom came out of her room and happily chirped, “Hi, Baby.” I replied, “Hi, mama.” It made me feel good that she was so happy to see me. My mom has worked in the same hair salon for 25 years. At her work, the women (who have pretty much known me my whole life) refer to me as “the baby.” I don’t take that to mean I am immature or whiney (cuz, hey, that’s not me at all…well, not at her work…unless she cuts my hair too short or something), just that I am the youngest.
My step-mom and dad took me out to dinner last night. They had been wanting to take me to Bravo for letting them computer-sit (really, they didn’t have to repay me in any way but they kept insisting…I think they were using it as an excuse to go to Bravo). After we were finished, Christine and I wanted to check out Maggie Moos. My father, who seems to be getting grumpy, said, “we have 1700 gallons of ice cream at home. The leftovers will spoil if we keep them in the car too long. Fine, I’m going to go check out the prices at Mitchell’s Fish Market (meaning—I’m having a beer).” Sooo, he gave us 15 minutes but since we had so much time, we went to the jewelry store and after that, a clothing store. We had a lot of fun, laughing together. We made it back to Maggie Moos in 15 minutes with my dad grumbling as he walked toward us with a Mitchell’s menu in his hand.
“Do you know how much it costs to get a salmon steak with mashed potatoes? Guess?!!?”
“Whoa, dad. I don’t know.”
“$25! Can you believe that?! Guess how much it costs for a lobster tail and steak?”
“Ummmm….$40?” “Can you believe these prices?! Hello, folks (he loves to say that), this isn’t Chicago. It’s Lansing, MI!”
Christine and I exchanged looks. “He sounds like Grandma,” I said.
Since I’m not a big ice cream fan, we decided not to get any (besides, my parents apparently have 1700 gallons at home). So we turned to leave and…out of the corner of my eye…I saw a flavor that jumped out at me. I had to try it. Loved it! Bought it! My dad claimed to be too full to try this ice cream but after he did, he agreed it was one of the best ice cream flavors he’s ever had (you can see how hard it is to please him J). Any guesses as to what the ice cream flavor was? It really completes my life…
Anyhow, I’ve noticed the amount of time I’ve been spending with my parents over the past months. More than I have since I left…high school probably. Perhaps this is the positive side of me being unmarried…single…lonely (sob). I know this time with them won’t last forever so I’m going to love it right now.
I woke up Sunday morning and stumbled out of my bedroom. My mom came out of her room and happily chirped, “Hi, Baby.” I replied, “Hi, mama.” It made me feel good that she was so happy to see me. My mom has worked in the same hair salon for 25 years. At her work, the women (who have pretty much known me my whole life) refer to me as “the baby.” I don’t take that to mean I am immature or whiney (cuz, hey, that’s not me at all…well, not at her work…unless she cuts my hair too short or something), just that I am the youngest.
My step-mom and dad took me out to dinner last night. They had been wanting to take me to Bravo for letting them computer-sit (really, they didn’t have to repay me in any way but they kept insisting…I think they were using it as an excuse to go to Bravo). After we were finished, Christine and I wanted to check out Maggie Moos. My father, who seems to be getting grumpy, said, “we have 1700 gallons of ice cream at home. The leftovers will spoil if we keep them in the car too long. Fine, I’m going to go check out the prices at Mitchell’s Fish Market (meaning—I’m having a beer).” Sooo, he gave us 15 minutes but since we had so much time, we went to the jewelry store and after that, a clothing store. We had a lot of fun, laughing together. We made it back to Maggie Moos in 15 minutes with my dad grumbling as he walked toward us with a Mitchell’s menu in his hand.
“Do you know how much it costs to get a salmon steak with mashed potatoes? Guess?!!?”
“Whoa, dad. I don’t know.”
“$25! Can you believe that?! Guess how much it costs for a lobster tail and steak?”
“Ummmm….$40?” “Can you believe these prices?! Hello, folks (he loves to say that), this isn’t Chicago. It’s Lansing, MI!”
Christine and I exchanged looks. “He sounds like Grandma,” I said.
Since I’m not a big ice cream fan, we decided not to get any (besides, my parents apparently have 1700 gallons at home). So we turned to leave and…out of the corner of my eye…I saw a flavor that jumped out at me. I had to try it. Loved it! Bought it! My dad claimed to be too full to try this ice cream but after he did, he agreed it was one of the best ice cream flavors he’s ever had (you can see how hard it is to please him J). Any guesses as to what the ice cream flavor was? It really completes my life…
Anyhow, I’ve noticed the amount of time I’ve been spending with my parents over the past months. More than I have since I left…high school probably. Perhaps this is the positive side of me being unmarried…single…lonely (sob). I know this time with them won’t last forever so I’m going to love it right now.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Long Story
I just got back from the movies. Took Lyndsay, my 8-year-old niece, to see March of the Penguins. I was slightly bored. She was entirely bored. We made it through, though. The best part for her (other than the end) was the preview for Corpse Bride, which doesn't look to child freindly to me. On the way out to the car, she said, "I can't wait to see Corporate Bride." I laughed and then explained the difference between the two.
Me: Where does your soul go when you die?
L: Ummmm....oh, heaven.
H: Where does your body go?
L: It stays here and does nothing.
H: Right, that is a corpse. It is the shell we leave behind but when we get to heaven, God gives us a new body.
L: He does?!?! That is so cool!
H: Yeah. And then when Jesus comes back, we are reunited with our old body again...or something like that.
L: Ewww....
H: No, I don't think our body will be bad.
L: That is all so cool! I wonder when Jesus is coming back...
H: So does everyone else but if anyone ever tells you they know, they are lying to you. Nobody knows except God. Jesus didn't even know. In fact, when I was in college, there was this group of people who started following this guy around. He convinced them that Jesus was coming back but they had to catch this comet...(suddenly, I realized this wasn't a great topic for an 8-year-old)...so anyway, nobody knows. Not your pastor, not my pastor.
L: Not Noel?
H: Nope. What will you do if Noel tells you he knows when Jesus is coming back?
L: Tell him, "Dream on. No one knows that....Aunt Holly?"
H: Yes
L: Some people say Jesus and God are the same person. That's insane!
This is where I almost drove the car into the nearest parking lot. I felt this immense feeling, like "wow. This little girl has so much to learn. Who is teaching her? Who is answering her questions? Damn...right now...it's me...Lord, what if I screw this up...."
H: He is! Jesus is God.
L: Wait a minute, hold on. You just said that the only one who knows when Jesus is coming back is God. But now you're saying they are the same...huh?
H: It is so complicated and I don't even fully understand.
I took a deep breath hoping the right words would come to me...some way to explain it to an 8-year-old.
H: You know how easy it is for us to have babies?
L: Uh...no.
H: What I mean is...you meet a guy, you date, you get married, have a nice vacation in Hawaii, buy a little house, go to work every day, come home, feel safe and protected from intruders and the weather...then you have a baby.
L: No way!
H: What I mean is...it is so much easier for us to have kids. Look what the penguins have to go through! They have to walk 70 miles, pick a mate, lay an egg, and then try to survive 100 degrees below zero. You saw how complicated God makes their process to reproduce. God is creative. You can't explain why. There isn't really an answer. It is something we won't fully understand.
L: Okay, so God made Jesus...
H: Uh....well...this is tough to explain. God and Jesus are the same but when God decided to come to earth as Jesus, it was like He was in another role...a human role. Because He is God, He was able to be in heaven as the father and down here on earth as the son. How many roles do you play in your life?
L: A lot, I guess.
H: You're a sister...
L: An annoying sister (she smiles).
H: You're a niece and a daughter and what are you to Grandpa Dean and Nana?
L: A granddaughter!
H: Right, and when you go to school, what kind of role are you then?
L: Student!
H: Right, so you see you're still the same person but you can play different roles. God being Jesus and Jesus being God...kind of like that....kind of....but really, I can't explain it well. Go ask your neighbor next time you see him.
L: Okay. Aunt Holly? What happened to those people who tried to catch the comet?
H: (Laughs) You noticed that I changed the subject, huh? Well...remember what happened to those baby penguins when they were left out in the cold?
L: Ewww...yeah....
H: Yeah. Let's just say those people were left out in the cold. Just don't follow anyone who claims to know when Jesus is coming back.
L: Ok
So, yeah. I'm probably in big trouble tomorrow when Lyn calls me and says Lyndsay had nightmares last night. I wrote out this whole conversation to help me rehash, try to figure out what I could have said better. Truth is that its difficult to expain something you don't fully understand.
PS: I love staying at my mom's on the weekends. We teased Dean until we were both laughing so hard. Fun times...
H
Me: Where does your soul go when you die?
L: Ummmm....oh, heaven.
H: Where does your body go?
L: It stays here and does nothing.
H: Right, that is a corpse. It is the shell we leave behind but when we get to heaven, God gives us a new body.
L: He does?!?! That is so cool!
H: Yeah. And then when Jesus comes back, we are reunited with our old body again...or something like that.
L: Ewww....
H: No, I don't think our body will be bad.
L: That is all so cool! I wonder when Jesus is coming back...
H: So does everyone else but if anyone ever tells you they know, they are lying to you. Nobody knows except God. Jesus didn't even know. In fact, when I was in college, there was this group of people who started following this guy around. He convinced them that Jesus was coming back but they had to catch this comet...(suddenly, I realized this wasn't a great topic for an 8-year-old)...so anyway, nobody knows. Not your pastor, not my pastor.
L: Not Noel?
H: Nope. What will you do if Noel tells you he knows when Jesus is coming back?
L: Tell him, "Dream on. No one knows that....Aunt Holly?"
H: Yes
L: Some people say Jesus and God are the same person. That's insane!
This is where I almost drove the car into the nearest parking lot. I felt this immense feeling, like "wow. This little girl has so much to learn. Who is teaching her? Who is answering her questions? Damn...right now...it's me...Lord, what if I screw this up...."
H: He is! Jesus is God.
L: Wait a minute, hold on. You just said that the only one who knows when Jesus is coming back is God. But now you're saying they are the same...huh?
H: It is so complicated and I don't even fully understand.
I took a deep breath hoping the right words would come to me...some way to explain it to an 8-year-old.
H: You know how easy it is for us to have babies?
L: Uh...no.
H: What I mean is...you meet a guy, you date, you get married, have a nice vacation in Hawaii, buy a little house, go to work every day, come home, feel safe and protected from intruders and the weather...then you have a baby.
L: No way!
H: What I mean is...it is so much easier for us to have kids. Look what the penguins have to go through! They have to walk 70 miles, pick a mate, lay an egg, and then try to survive 100 degrees below zero. You saw how complicated God makes their process to reproduce. God is creative. You can't explain why. There isn't really an answer. It is something we won't fully understand.
L: Okay, so God made Jesus...
H: Uh....well...this is tough to explain. God and Jesus are the same but when God decided to come to earth as Jesus, it was like He was in another role...a human role. Because He is God, He was able to be in heaven as the father and down here on earth as the son. How many roles do you play in your life?
L: A lot, I guess.
H: You're a sister...
L: An annoying sister (she smiles).
H: You're a niece and a daughter and what are you to Grandpa Dean and Nana?
L: A granddaughter!
H: Right, and when you go to school, what kind of role are you then?
L: Student!
H: Right, so you see you're still the same person but you can play different roles. God being Jesus and Jesus being God...kind of like that....kind of....but really, I can't explain it well. Go ask your neighbor next time you see him.
L: Okay. Aunt Holly? What happened to those people who tried to catch the comet?
H: (Laughs) You noticed that I changed the subject, huh? Well...remember what happened to those baby penguins when they were left out in the cold?
L: Ewww...yeah....
H: Yeah. Let's just say those people were left out in the cold. Just don't follow anyone who claims to know when Jesus is coming back.
L: Ok
So, yeah. I'm probably in big trouble tomorrow when Lyn calls me and says Lyndsay had nightmares last night. I wrote out this whole conversation to help me rehash, try to figure out what I could have said better. Truth is that its difficult to expain something you don't fully understand.
PS: I love staying at my mom's on the weekends. We teased Dean until we were both laughing so hard. Fun times...
H
Ultimate Authority
I have ultimate authority over myself…right? I mean, I control what I do, how I act, what clothes to wear, who to pick on... Yes, I have ultimate authority! I am in the driver’s seat! Bow down to me and my ways of thinking, you heathens. None of you really know how to live your lives but I know how you should carry out your existence. That’s right! Do you know how rude it is to crack your gum? It's as disgusting as when you don't wipe down the eliptical trainer after you're finished. Please, if you don’t know how to drive, pull over. Don’t upset me by driving so slowly. And please! If you have 13 items, do not use the self check-out lane! You are holding up my life!!! Get out of the way! I’m on a roll here. I spend my money on what I want. Buy now, pay later. I “test-drive” the car before I “purchase” it. How else am I going to know? Hey everyone! I’m feeling good…let’s get wasted!!! Whoo-hoo!
Wow. I had to get all of that out of my system. See, that is me. The me that hides deep down and wants to spring out and slap people up. That is the me I’ve grown up with, gotten to know, and became fond of. That is me without Christ.
I made an important decision about 2 and a half years ago. I decided to give God the ultimate authority. After all, he is the “perfect standard.” He isn’t going to steer us down the wrong roads. I read a chapter in my weekly prayer group this afternoon. This chapter reminded me that I have given up ultimate authority.
“Many of our troubles occur because we base our choices on unreliable authorities: culture (“everyone is doing it”), tradition (we’ve always done it), reason (it seemed logical) or emotion (it just felt right).” But if we listen to the Lord, we will have the right answer every single time.
Does this mean that I am denying the real me? No. Does this mean I succeed all of the time? Um.no. What has changed is where my focus lies. I still think about self a lot but I go to God. I look to Him for answers. I have learned to use prayer and the bible, along with council to help me with all of my little issues.
I don’t agree with everything in the Bible but I choose to trust God on it. This doesn’t mean I have restrained myself from doing certain things but in many, many ways, I feel free NOT to sin anymore. This doesn’t mean I have a new personality. What it means is that I have a choice: do I go down the road that is always right, but unpopular? Or go down my own path which will probably lead to more selfish destruction? I’m still the same…but values have changed, authority has changed. God is not my co-pilot. He is the pilot and I fly with Him.
Oh, and I still get annoyed. Please, wipe down the eliptical trainer when you're finished.
Wow. I had to get all of that out of my system. See, that is me. The me that hides deep down and wants to spring out and slap people up. That is the me I’ve grown up with, gotten to know, and became fond of. That is me without Christ.
I made an important decision about 2 and a half years ago. I decided to give God the ultimate authority. After all, he is the “perfect standard.” He isn’t going to steer us down the wrong roads. I read a chapter in my weekly prayer group this afternoon. This chapter reminded me that I have given up ultimate authority.
“Many of our troubles occur because we base our choices on unreliable authorities: culture (“everyone is doing it”), tradition (we’ve always done it), reason (it seemed logical) or emotion (it just felt right).” But if we listen to the Lord, we will have the right answer every single time.
Does this mean that I am denying the real me? No. Does this mean I succeed all of the time? Um.no. What has changed is where my focus lies. I still think about self a lot but I go to God. I look to Him for answers. I have learned to use prayer and the bible, along with council to help me with all of my little issues.
I don’t agree with everything in the Bible but I choose to trust God on it. This doesn’t mean I have restrained myself from doing certain things but in many, many ways, I feel free NOT to sin anymore. This doesn’t mean I have a new personality. What it means is that I have a choice: do I go down the road that is always right, but unpopular? Or go down my own path which will probably lead to more selfish destruction? I’m still the same…but values have changed, authority has changed. God is not my co-pilot. He is the pilot and I fly with Him.
Oh, and I still get annoyed. Please, wipe down the eliptical trainer when you're finished.
Blogging
It has been almost a year since I started blogging so I decided to change things up a bit (Kell, thanks for the inspiration). Perhaps I’ll become more driven to have my own web page and design in this coming year. Yeah, right. I never thought I would be a blogger. I like to read them but thought my ideas were rather boring (nods from various people). I find comfort in writing on this thing. I’m able to stay in touch with people far away and babble on when God works in my life. I have abused this blog by writing things too private. I have abused this blog by not writing what was in my heart. I still struggle with knowing what to say and not to say. I still struggle with putting it all out there on the web for others to find (I’m thinking about making this an SFTP). Though, I’m glad I was convinced to start this thing which has bridged gaps and formed friendships between myself and others. It has also, I hope, showed the continuous work God has for me, through me, and in me.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Appearences
Andy and I were riding the L and I took notice of some older women sitting in front of us. They were on their way to the Cubbies game and talking about how much they just loved the smell of the ball park and couldn’t wait to have a beer. I noticed one of the women was wearing a shirt that said, “Shut up and drink your beer.” They didn’t seem like a rough crowd or anything. In fact, they seemed to be upper middle class women…just out to have a good time in Chicago. But I formed an opinion about them. Their actions seemed masculine, none were wearing wedding rings, their hair was short…you get where I’m going with this, right? We were nearing Addison (our stop) when my eyes rested on one of those plastic wrist bands one woman was wearing. I tried desperately to read it but the only word I could see was “Him.” Hmmm…him, who? Wait…could it be….Him? No…. Then I got another look at the bracelet and saw the word “for.” For Him. Ugh. What is the first word?! The L was coming to stop just as the bracelet turned and I saw the word “Live.” Live For Him. I became so excited I nearly leapt at her as I rose to leave. “Excuse me,” I said, “your bracelet…what does it say?” “Live for Him.” “Who is him?” I asked with a small smile. She returned the smile and said, “Christ.” I felt so happy, pleased, excited at the same time. “I’ve never seen a bracelet like that one. I really like it…oh, and I do…live for Him.” She smiled at me and before I knew it, she whipped the bracelet off her wrist, handed it to me and said, “Good. Take it. I have more at home.” I had time to spit out a “thank you so much” and then we went our separate ways. My first thought was that I would wear this bracelet until someone else asked me about it. Then, hopefully, I’ll pass it on. My second thought was how I had judged her by her appearance. The moment I realized she was a Christian, everything else melted away. I have discovered that when you find another Christian and you both realize it, a spark ignites. It always happens. “You’re a Christ Follower?” “You’re a believer?” “You’re saved?” I dig it when people ask me these questions. You find that you share something so deep with someone else. It is totally different than, “Oh! You’re a Parrothead! So am I!” It is a deeper connection. A deeper feeling.
Chicago Highlights
Highlights from my trip to Chicago this weekend (pictures to be posted by the end of the week):
*Train ride there—my 11th grade English Lit teacher was also traveling to Chicago with her husband. I felt relieved not to be completely alone. Also, the train stopped over the crossing in Charlotte, blocking traffic by the Workbench. I looked down at people who were pretty ticked off.
*Cereality—I must go there every time I’m in Chicago. Get off the train, cross the bridge, go down a block and you’re there. I didn’t order anything too fun but it was yummy: oatmeal squares with blueberries. Andy got Apple Jacks with marshmallows or something. Then, we took it outside and enjoyed the scenery as we ate.
*Castaways—a bar (shaped like a boat) on the beach. Excellent view. Excellent T-shirts. Some examples: Water is $3 or 100 yards east. Bathroom is downstairs or 100 yards east.
*Dinner at a fancy shmancy place that I can’t remember the name of but know it was on the Navy Pier. Of course, we were really gussied up and feeling elite…until the bill came. Here’s to the 11% city tax.
*Walked around Navy Pier and went up in the Ferris Wheel. Absolutely beautiful at night, although…I think the older I get, the more I fear heights. What’s the deal? What happened to my fearless teen years? Grrr….
*Watched Shrek 2. That is a funny, funny movie, although…I laughed harder the first time I saw it. Still, Andy was able to fill me in on a couple of other movie references I didn’t know.
*Went to H&M on Michigan Ave. Bought another pair of sunglasses. Walked up and down MI Ave and then rode the “L” back to Andy’s. He lives in a nice apartment 2 blocks from Wrigley. The L passes next to his shower window. You get used to it.
*Grilled out and walked to the game. It was pretty fun. I paid attention the entire time and really got into it. Cubs lose, Cubs lose. Oh well.
*Went to the Lincoln Park taste fest which turned into the Lincoln Park over capacity and drunkenness fest. We left after an hour. Walked alllll the way back, although I’m thinking it might have been the same distance we walked in Germany the night we were rejected from the bar. This time, a homeless guy (who was drunk) tried to hug me. Andy pushed him off me and then I laughed. Not sure why. I wasn’t really that scared.
*Watched Troy. It was long. Some parts I couldn’t buy into though I’m pretty sure they were added in by Hollywood.
*Got Chai from Starbucks Sunday morning and made it down to the John Hancock building before the long lines formed. The view was pretty cool and I liked it better than the Sears Tower. Of course, I had morbid thoughts while we were up there (shudders).
*Ate at Gino’s. First ones in the door. Very good deep dish pizza. When we left, there was a line out the door.
*Andy dropped me off at the train station. Couldn’t find my gate. Began to panic. Found a guy who helped me out. People were already in line to board. I got a good seat and read the new Harry Potter book almost the whole way home. When we got to Charlotte, I glanced out the window, familiar with the roads we were passing over. I smiled, a big smile, and observed the backyards of people. There were lots of deer running around in the fields. I caught a glimpse of a buck in a cornfield. All you could see was his face and his antlers…just staring at our train as we sped by. Very cool.
*I’m glad to be home but want to take Brad and Lynds back to Chicago, hopefully in September.
*Train ride there—my 11th grade English Lit teacher was also traveling to Chicago with her husband. I felt relieved not to be completely alone. Also, the train stopped over the crossing in Charlotte, blocking traffic by the Workbench. I looked down at people who were pretty ticked off.
*Cereality—I must go there every time I’m in Chicago. Get off the train, cross the bridge, go down a block and you’re there. I didn’t order anything too fun but it was yummy: oatmeal squares with blueberries. Andy got Apple Jacks with marshmallows or something. Then, we took it outside and enjoyed the scenery as we ate.
*Castaways—a bar (shaped like a boat) on the beach. Excellent view. Excellent T-shirts. Some examples: Water is $3 or 100 yards east. Bathroom is downstairs or 100 yards east.
*Dinner at a fancy shmancy place that I can’t remember the name of but know it was on the Navy Pier. Of course, we were really gussied up and feeling elite…until the bill came. Here’s to the 11% city tax.
*Walked around Navy Pier and went up in the Ferris Wheel. Absolutely beautiful at night, although…I think the older I get, the more I fear heights. What’s the deal? What happened to my fearless teen years? Grrr….
*Watched Shrek 2. That is a funny, funny movie, although…I laughed harder the first time I saw it. Still, Andy was able to fill me in on a couple of other movie references I didn’t know.
*Went to H&M on Michigan Ave. Bought another pair of sunglasses. Walked up and down MI Ave and then rode the “L” back to Andy’s. He lives in a nice apartment 2 blocks from Wrigley. The L passes next to his shower window. You get used to it.
*Grilled out and walked to the game. It was pretty fun. I paid attention the entire time and really got into it. Cubs lose, Cubs lose. Oh well.
*Went to the Lincoln Park taste fest which turned into the Lincoln Park over capacity and drunkenness fest. We left after an hour. Walked alllll the way back, although I’m thinking it might have been the same distance we walked in Germany the night we were rejected from the bar. This time, a homeless guy (who was drunk) tried to hug me. Andy pushed him off me and then I laughed. Not sure why. I wasn’t really that scared.
*Watched Troy. It was long. Some parts I couldn’t buy into though I’m pretty sure they were added in by Hollywood.
*Got Chai from Starbucks Sunday morning and made it down to the John Hancock building before the long lines formed. The view was pretty cool and I liked it better than the Sears Tower. Of course, I had morbid thoughts while we were up there (shudders).
*Ate at Gino’s. First ones in the door. Very good deep dish pizza. When we left, there was a line out the door.
*Andy dropped me off at the train station. Couldn’t find my gate. Began to panic. Found a guy who helped me out. People were already in line to board. I got a good seat and read the new Harry Potter book almost the whole way home. When we got to Charlotte, I glanced out the window, familiar with the roads we were passing over. I smiled, a big smile, and observed the backyards of people. There were lots of deer running around in the fields. I caught a glimpse of a buck in a cornfield. All you could see was his face and his antlers…just staring at our train as we sped by. Very cool.
*I’m glad to be home but want to take Brad and Lynds back to Chicago, hopefully in September.
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