Venting

I just thought I would warn you...

I am a bride. I am not and have not been behaving like a bridezilla even when things have not been going my way. I have shed some tears. I have felt I've been treated unfairly. I have moved on and have had amazing support. Thank you for the support.

I need support.

Please, please, please....do not remind me I'm getting married in six months. I already know and it's funny when people act like I don't know it. I do. Lay off. We'll get everything done.

YES! I KNOW I'M GETTING MARRIED IN SIX MONTHS AND STILL DON'T HAVE A WEDDING DRESS. PLEASE BACK OFF AND I MEAN THAT IN THE NICEST WAY EVEN THOUGH I'M WRITING IN CAPS.

Thank you for reading. I will return to my nice, agreeable self now.

Cheers!

New and Old

New members of the family:

My cousin (the one in the middle) became a grandfather on Friday (that's crazy!) to Savannah Jayde. His son, the one on the right, is married to Katie, the one with the baby. Her brother is Eric Salisbury at Riverview. Can't wait to meet Savannah. She's like my third cousin or something.

My cousin Travis with his niece.

My cousin Sarah with her niece and....her fiance! Jeremy asked Sarah to marry him yesterday and she accepted. After she said yes, Jeremy asked her the most amazing question: will you pray with me. That part of the story made me cry because these two are so in love with Jesus and want Him to be in every part of their relationship.

Another new member! Mia Phoebe! She is Joey's first cousin. Aunt Robyn had little Mia on November 7. Kind of funny how my family is having third cousins and Joey's still getting first cousins.

With all of these new changes, I was stuck today with a sudden yearning for my grandparents. I had breakfast with my co-workers at the college cafe this morning. One of the dishes was oatmeal and it tasted exactly like the kind my grandma Louise used to make. I longed for her so badly my heart hurt. Later, we could hear some old time Christmas music and again, I missed the people who have passed away and I longed for the past. Funny how that works sometimes.

Thanksgiving 2007

Thanksgiving was held at Joey's house this year. My step-mom (the one in the green apron) suggested she make the turkey and we provide the house. I have to say, it worked out well, even if there were one or two people dearly missed.

I love this picture of Joey's parents, my step-mom, nephew, Gram and sister at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

I love this picture, too of my parents talking and my niece. She leaned in and looked interested because she saw me taking the photo. What an actress.

My mother

My father and I

My nephew and his can of Cranberry. Joey planning out our Black Friday trip.

Putting up our sorry Christmas Tree.

Yes, I do know where my Bible is, Noel...

So, the other day, I walked into my bathroom and this image struck me as so funny, I had to take a picture. In case you can't tell, that black book underneath the roll is my Bible.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sandy (my co-worker): I drove by the turkey farm on 5 mile this morning.
Me: Yeah....
Sandy: There weren't any turkeys outside.

Mourn for them today....eat 'em tomorrow. Yum!

Hiding

I remember when I was stuck in a sin pattern in my life. I avoided my Christian friends like crazy and leaned more on the people who wouldn’t tell me the truth…calling my sin a sin. Both groups of friends loved me but I knew the pre-Christians would allow me to hide. And that is what I would do….hide.

I was ashamed. I was hurting myself. I was making myself sick. The secret inside of me was literally causing me to die spiritually every day. Physically, it was killing me, too because I couldn’t sleep or eat.

I have a friend who is addicted to drugs. When I don’t hear from her, I know she’s doing them or she’s doing stuff she doesn’t want me to know about. She hides from me. She hides from everyone. I haven’t heard from her since September. I know things must be bad. Really bad.

I have other friends, too, who hide stuff from me because they don’t want me to know. What does that say about me? Are they expecting a lecture? Are they expecting a judgment call?

Noel’s teaching this weekend really blew me away. A lot of it I was taught in Route 66 but the fresh new way Noel presented the story was amazing.

We have all been hiding since the garden.

God gave Adam and Eve one boundary. Just ONE boundary.

Genesis 2:15 And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."

Temptation is a daily thing for me. Whether I’m tempted to lie my way out of a situation, gossip about someone, buy something I shouldn’t, choose to be angry about something I can’t control…I know I’m tempted. We all have those weaknesses.

Eve was tempted by the serpent to be like God.

Genesis 3:1 He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"

We all know the right course of action. Even Eve knew it.

Genesis 3:2 The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.' "

I had learned in Route 66 about this response Eve gave. She added to the boundary. God never said she couldn’t touch the fruit. Maybe she thought if she touched it, she would want to eat it. Kind of like people addicted to internet porn who know that even having a computer in the house is too much of a temptation. But maybe not because Eve didn’t even know what sin was. She just wanted to please the Lord.

Eve listened as the serpent lied to her, convincing her to eat the fruit. Apparently, she not only had never touched fruit from this tree but she had never even looked at the tree before. Genesis 3:6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.

Then, her husband ate some.

They felt shame immediately and what did they do?

Genesis 3:8 “…they hid from the LORD God…”

Things haven't changed much, have they?

And what did God do? He looked for them, called out to them.

Genesis 3:9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"

God knew where they were but He wanted Adam and Eve to come forward, admit their sin, stand ready for the consequence and then continue to be loved by Him. Before He gave the woman her eternal punishment, He offered her redemption. I love this!

Genesis 3: 15
And I will put enmity
between you [the serpent] and the woman,
and between your offspring [a] and hers;
he will crush [b] your head,
and you will strike his heel."

Serpent’s offspring? Satan (the serpent was Satan)
Eve’s offspring? Jesus.

The Lord still wasn’t finished. Eve and Adam ate from trees. They did not animals. There was no death before sin, either. Everyone was happy, innocent and sin-free. But when these two sinned and felt shame in their nakedness, the Lord killed an animal to make clothes for them. As Noel said, “this is one of the biggest forshadowings of all time.”

Blood was shed to cover their sin. This, again, points to Jesus. I love it.

I remember when I came out of hiding from my sin. I confessed it to three Christians and there was pain in my words. There was some pain in their responses. But the pain wasn’t exactly their disappointment in me. The pain came from my pain. I hurt = they hurt. Every single one of these people prayed with me over the phone. Every one of them encouraged me to stop the sin but were grateful for my admission. Every one of them gave me hope. The weight was gone. I could eat again. I felt free again. I could sing again.

My friend Marlene always used to say, “secrets don’t make friends.” No, they don’t. Some secrets can destroy. And I just wonder how people get through this life without Christ. God clothed Adam and Eve with animal skins. God clothed us with Christ. Are you out in this world with a secret sin? Are you shivering, cold, alone? Turn away from that sin and clothe yourself with Christ.

I like this cartoon from Noel’s website. It really does reflect what our reaction should be when someone admits sin to us. I’ve learned though personal experience but I need to be reminded every day.

Girl on the Run

My niece, Lyndsay, joined an after school program called Girls on the Run. A little bit about this program from their website:

Girls on the Run is a non-profit prevention program that encourages preteen girls to develop self-respect and healthy lifestyles through running. Our curricula address all aspects of girls' development - their physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual well-being.
Girls on the Run International (GOTRI) is the parent organization of more than 120 Girls on the Run councils across the United States and Canada. GOTRI establishes, trains and supports a network of community-level councils with local volunteers. The volunteers serve as role models to the girls through coaching the 12-week, 24 lesson curricula. The curriculum is delivered in these areas through after-school programs, recreation centers and other non-profit settings.

Lyndsay's 5K completed the 10 week program. Last Saturday was the 5K.

First, Lynds came to my mom’s house and asked me to teach her how to do the runner’s knot. I’ll admit, I got a little choked up. Then, we picked up Joey and headed out to Hawk Island. There were so many little girls! Some of my friends were coaches for other teams so while I chatted, Joey registered Lyndsay. Her bib number, along with everyone else’s bib #, was the number 1. We found her team, Ruth (my running nemesis) and I teased each other and then the girls warmed up, stretched. I told Lyndsay to pray and ask God to help her if she needed to get through the run. I assured her that He would either give her the strength to get through the 3.1 miles or give her a pretty bird to look at while she walked. They were dismissed to the start line by school and were reminded that every runner had to be done before they could have their snack at the end. With that, they were off!

Joey and I started by standing in front of the start line but after Lynds passed, we moved to the front of the finish line. The girls had to run around Hawk Island twice. When the runners started coming around for their first loop, Joey and I were yelling hard, giving them encouragement and reminding them they were half way done. Lynds was toward the end of the middle bunch of girls. She was walking when we first saw her but started running again when she saw us. 10 minutes after she passed, we were still cheering girls on when the pace bike came into view. We were all a little confused. The dude on the bike yelled, “this is the first runner, everyone!” We erupted in cheers. Some of those girls are fast runners! From that point on, we would just give are all to these girls, telling them to run it in and sprint. I actually got a little out of control, yelling “run, run, go!” Almost every single girl would either pick it up or start running again. The best was when I saw Lyndsay. She was walking and started running when she saw us (she lamp posted the whole race). But after she passed us, she started walking again. I had turned my attention to the next set of girls until I heard Joey say, “Holl, she’s walking!” Well, I couldn’t have that! I broke one of the rules and started running after her on the pavement. “Run, Lyndsay! Run, run, run!” She started running and finished the race. Proud moment. But I wonder if I’m going to be one of those parents.

All of the girls finished…except one. The announcement came that the last runner was about 10 minutes out and then everyone could have their snack. Joey and I knew which runner it was. She was a heavier set girl who probably walked most or all of the course. I went back to stand with Joey and everyone waited. Suddenly, one by one, all of these little girls started running back to the last runner. They were her teammates and they were going to finish with her. Then, girls who didn’t even know her started running back there. Joey and I seriously got chills and a little teary when the group came into sight. They were chanting “Samantha, Samantha.” And then, this little girl started jogging…just a little bit…and she finished.

It was such an awesome experience and we had a lot of fun cheering the girls on. I have a goal to be a coach of a Girls on the Run team sometime in the future. I really want to help out.

Lyndsay’s already talking about her next 5K. Not sure when that will be, though!

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Do you think this looks like me???

One of my very favorites...

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle-shield, sword for my fight,
Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight.
Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower.
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

Submission...or whatever you don't want to call it

What a fun topic, huh? But lately, it’s been coming up over and over and over. I can’t believe I’m on the side which is defending submission. I can’t believe there’s a pastor sitting on the other side.

I’m defending submission because it is in the bible. He is against submission because…he…doesn’t like it? I’m not even sure where he is coming from. He just keeps saying he doesn’t like it.

But…God said…well, what did God say?

Romans 13:1[ Submission to the Authorities ] Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.

Romans 13:5Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.

Ephesians 5
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

And now…the definition:

sub·mit Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[suh b-mit] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -mit·ted, -mit·ting.
–verb (used with object)
1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).
2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.
3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.
4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually fol. by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required.
–verb (used without object)
5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.
6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy.
7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your judgment.


Does it state that the one doing the submitting is weaker? Less than? A piece of poo? A slave? Beneath? Inferior? Maybe one of the definitions leaned that way but I have a feeling that is what our socieity has done to the word.

After all, do you feel that way when you stop at a light? Or when you pay for something at the mall? Honor the home of a friend by not smoking, drinking, swearing, etc.? We submit all the time. The Lord asks us to.


I did some research and I feel like I’m defending God because I went to the Bible first. Myself and Riverview are not making this stuff up! I’m getting a little fired up and really, I shouldn’t. The Lord is in control, not me, not the other pastor. And I’m learning through this whole experience. So, I’m sharing some schtuff, mainly so I have a place to keep my thoughts.


I go this from Bible.com:
What is the definition of submission? It is yielding to another's desires without resistance. Submission to another's wishes is an attitude of the heart done willingly, while surrender is yielding by being forced to do so.


Soooo…..

Submission = willingly
Surrender = forced

And who do we all submit to first?

God.


SUBMIT TO GOD FIRST…ALWAYS
”Therefore SUBMIT TO GOD [and not to the devil], [but] RESIST THE DEVIL ...[and] DRAW NEAR TO GOD...” (James 4:7,8).
Women and men. Husbands and wives. We submit to God first and foremost.

From an article I found on Divorce Hope.com
http://www.divorcehope.com/christiangodlysubmissioninmarriage.htm

“The subordinate submission Scriptures tells wives to submit to their OWN husbands: “Wives, SUBMIT to your own husbands, AS TO THE LORD” (Ephesians 5:22). Notice that wives are not to submit to “another man”, but the man of the marriage. More importantly, the submission to the man of the marriage is “AS TO THE LORD.” What does “as to the Lord” mean? And to whom is submission rendered? “As to the Lord” is the way a Christian ought to submit to others. Whether it is our spouses, our employer, or those who are in law enforcement or government authorities, the submission that we render to them is the same submission that we would render to the Lord Jesus Himself — “as [we would submit] to the Lord.” Meaning, God commands us to resist evil no matter what form it comes in and no matter who it comes through.

“We have been taught that we are to blindly follow our spouse, but that is just not true. God set up specific guidelines in His written Word for us so we will not be deceived and do wrong. Gods’ written Word is our foundation. His Holy Spirit will lead and guide us according to that Word. The Lord Himself would not have anyone do anything ungodly (evil) or under coercion or manipulation. In a marriage, submitting “as to the Lord” is submitting to that which is OF THE LORD in your spouse.

“For instance, let’s say that an angel spoke to us to do something evil, we would have NO choice but to resist and say, “No!” The Word of God, which is our instructions on how to submit, says to “Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Resist the devil ...[and] draw near to God...” (Romans 12:9, James 4:7, 8), NO MATTER WHO IT IS! Even if it’s “...an angel from heaven ...let him be accursed” (Galatians 1:8). The Scripture says to “cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9c).
“CLINGING IS SUBMITTING! WHEN IT’S “OF THE LORD”, YOU SUBMIT “AS TO THE LORD.” WHEN IT’S NOT “OF THE LORD”, YOU DON’T SUBMIT “AS TO THE LORD.” For example, you are not to submit to abuse; it’s not “of the Lord.””

So, I am to submit to God first. This means that if my husband leads me away from God, wants me to something illegal or not biblical, I am to say no.

My first allegiance is to God. I belong to Him.

I also belong to my husband….and he belongs to me, too. That doesn’t sound like tyranny and chauvinism, does it?

Back to Divorce Hope.com:
“Submission to our spouse is never greater than our submission to God. Some people actually think God gives us the liberty to have another god before us. That is just not so (See Exodus 20:3). We must always submit to God first. He knows what decisions to make. As we submit to God and to one another He uses these situations to mature us, to bless us, and to reveal our own weaknesses. This results in our seeking Him all the more. “For when I am weak, THEN I am strong” (2Corinthians 12:10b).“There are all kinds of daily situations where one must submit to another. Husbands and wives need to make decisions daily about certain things. These decisions are not always to separate the good from the evil, but deciding what’s the best thing to do in a particular situation.

“For example, we may need a car, but what kind? How much do we spend? These kinds of situations are where we grow together as husband and wife while submitting to one another. We must gain understanding of what kind of car fits our needs so we can make a wise decision. At times it is not always clear which course of action to take. This is where praying together in agreement comes in — seeking Gods heart together. Even though a better automobile may be needed, which one is the right one for us?

Hold on….what do you think of this part:

“Suppose the wife felt in her heart that God said, “THIS car is the one”. But the husband isn’t sure which car to get. What could happen next? The husband could override his wife and say no, or the husband could trust the Lord through his wife and submit to her after they talked it out, even as Abraham submitted to his wife, Sarah (See Genesis 21:12). In these kinds of daily decisions, IT’S BETTER FOR THE HUSBAND AND WIFE TO BE IN AGREEMENT AND SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER EVEN IF IT’S THE WRONG CHOICE. The choice could be wrong because of a lack of knowledge. It is better to submit to each other, instead of not being in agreement, which causes strife. It is God’s heart to make right a wrong situation when the couple is in agreement seeking Him even if they did make the wrong choice. It is God’s heart to make right a wrong situation when the couple is in agreement seeking Him even if they did make the wrong choice. It is better to be in agreement and make a wrong choice with a clean conscience than for one spouse to disagree and make the “right” choice and be in constant strife. “For where envy and self-seeking [strife] exist, CONFUSION AND EVERY EVIL THING ARE THERE” (James 3:16).

From Bible.com
In the Spirit, women are equal with men, and each must submit unto Jesus as their spiritual head.

In the flesh, in the marriage relationship, women are to be subject to their husband's headship.

The Lord ordained that the man be the one that would make final decisions in the home because in any relationship involving two people one must be the final authority. Men are to love their wives like Jesus loves the church. He laid His life down for her. Men that are demanding that their wives submit to them have not learned the right way to win them and that is to love them with the love of the Lord.

From this definition we see we are to yield to one another instead of demanding our own way.
"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another" (Romans 12:10).

Both husband and wife should be submissive and loving. The love of Christ should be the rule in the home. When wifely submission is over-stressed we find it can lead to many problems that cause the husband-wife relationship to be thrown out of balance. Some even stress it to the degree that a wife must obey every command her husband dictates to her. They arrive at this conclusion because of the Scripture, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything" (Ephesians 5:24). The word "everything" here is not inclusive of evil things. Women are to submit to their husbands as the church is to submit unto Christ. Christ would never ask anything of the church that was not according to God's Word. Women are never to submit unto things that do not line up with God's Word.

If any man, husband or otherwise, would ask us to do something that Jesus would not sanction, then we must refuse to do it. We should also do and apply those things that the Holy Spirit would speak to us to do. We must obey Him over what man would say to us. If it is truly the Lord speaking to us, He will deal with the one who is wrong.

Here are some bullet points from the rest of the article:

*Most women who have a problem submitting to their husbands have the same problem submitting to the Lord.

*Mary submitted to God regarding her pregnancy without discussing with Joseph first. This is a case where a woman submitted to God first, and then the Lord dealt with her husband showing him she had heard the Lord.

*When the Scripture speaks of wives obeying and submitting to their husbands, it cannot mean that every wife must obey her husband always in everything. She, as well as he, is responsible to obey what the Spirit gives each to do. The husband does not lead the wife into all truth since this is the work of the Holy Spirit.

*This does not license a wife who has a domineering spirit to do anything she wants simply because she says she is only subject to the Lord.

*The Lord is displeased with any person who tries to dominate and rule another's life, whether that person be male or female.


SUBMISSION OUT OF BALANCE
Submission has been out of balance in both directions, thereby causing much confusion in the body of Christ. Those who refuse to submit to any authority are just as out of balance as those who submit to every dictate of those who they feel are their superiors, regardless of the mandates. We must have the leadership of the Holy Spirit in all areas of our lives. Legalistic approaches to the Word of God always bring bondage. Paul's letter to the Galatians was a reprimand to the people who were leaving the simplicity of the gospel and reverting back to strict rules and regulations.

We have the same problem today within the church as some are becoming hard and dogmatic in dealing with the truth and with people. Submission is required of God's people, but never to the point that men begin ruling other men's or women's lives. This has been abused greatly in regard to church authority. Some pastors have become dictators, while others have become so permissive (all in the name of love) that order is lost in the church. With no order in the body of Christ there is chaos. There has to be respect for the pastor and the other offices in the body of Christ. Any legalistic approach to this, however, brings bondage and does not carry out God's wishes. God's true pastors lead His flock in love and by example.

And this whole article from Bible.com was (gasp!) written by a woman: Betty Miller.


RECAP:
1.) Submit to God first and always.
2.) Submit to Husband unless it is contradictory to God.
3.) Submit to each other so there is no strife in the marriage.
4.) Be careful of unbalanced submission.
5.) If I have trouble submitting to a godly husband, than I have trouble submitting to the Lord.
6.) Do not be domineering. Do not allow others to domineer you.