I'm in Chicago, safe and sound. The boys are still sleeping but Bek and I couldn't lay in bed any longer. We stayed in last night but Ry, Chip and Andy went out. Bek and I slept on the Aerobed and it was oh, so nice. Chip and Ry slept on the floor next to us and Andy slept in his bed on the otherside. Well, that is until Ryan got in bed with Andy. When we woke up, Andy was on the couch downstairs. Ryan went back to his spot on the floor to try to pretend he had been there all along. Becky fell bounced off the Aerobed when she was trying to get back in. A few laughs this morning...good times...I really pray they continue.
It is beautiful outside, windy but I like the sun shining on our world. I feel so safe and blessed. I pray all stays that way as we venture out tonight.
Andy has wireless internet...yay!
Friday, December 31, 2004
God In Action Part 1
If someone asked me if I ever interacted with God, if I ever feel him or know he is there, I would say—heck yes! There are also times when I feel distant from him and I do go through phases of feeling inadequate or unworthy. 2004 has definitely been a year for God and I. Seeing him in action, seeing how time doesn’t exist for him, seeing his planning has left me in awe (and sometimes really pissed).
Story #1
It all came out of taking God’s name in vain. Ben, my former supervisor, and I were evaluating my performance as an employee during my yearly performance review. We were laughing about something and Ben made some comment where he dropped the G.D. word. Suddenly, one of the overhead lights turned off. Ben and I looked at each other a little spooked. “See, Ben, you shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” I said. “You know, I really need to work on that,” Ben said. And then the light came back on. From there we discussed how Ben majored in theology and he really wanted to get back into the bible, praying, discussion…and our bible study was born.
Our first meeting was in January and we had a couple people come. It really ended up being Krissie, Ben and I, though. We would rotate to different restaurants offering happy hour. It was real cute to see us with our bibles surrounded by the half off appetizers and dollar drinks. We really got into some good discussions. We prayed. And then the unthinkable…Ben’s little brother died in March.
I went to the funeral home and met Ben’s mom and step-dad who is a pastor. I introduced myself as one of Ben’s employees, and a friend. I explained that Ben and I had started a bible study, too. His mother hugged me tight and said, “Thank you so much for doing that with him. I really think Ben has grown closer to God over the past couple of months because of the study.” In the months after Simeon’s death, our bible study became more of grief counseling. But we had an established group already, one that met every Tuesday night, even if it was just the three of us. So Ben had an outlet for his grief…and we prayed, and cried, and shared.
Since then, I wonder about God. Was he trying to prepare Ben for this tragedy? Really, Ben has been all over the place in his relationship with God, his faith weak at times and strong, too. As his life continues, though, he has yet to turn his back on God. Even when Ben was angry, he turned toward God and let him have it. I truly see Ben’s life as a testimony for the tried and grief stricken. He has brought God soooo much glory.
Story #1
It all came out of taking God’s name in vain. Ben, my former supervisor, and I were evaluating my performance as an employee during my yearly performance review. We were laughing about something and Ben made some comment where he dropped the G.D. word. Suddenly, one of the overhead lights turned off. Ben and I looked at each other a little spooked. “See, Ben, you shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” I said. “You know, I really need to work on that,” Ben said. And then the light came back on. From there we discussed how Ben majored in theology and he really wanted to get back into the bible, praying, discussion…and our bible study was born.
Our first meeting was in January and we had a couple people come. It really ended up being Krissie, Ben and I, though. We would rotate to different restaurants offering happy hour. It was real cute to see us with our bibles surrounded by the half off appetizers and dollar drinks. We really got into some good discussions. We prayed. And then the unthinkable…Ben’s little brother died in March.
I went to the funeral home and met Ben’s mom and step-dad who is a pastor. I introduced myself as one of Ben’s employees, and a friend. I explained that Ben and I had started a bible study, too. His mother hugged me tight and said, “Thank you so much for doing that with him. I really think Ben has grown closer to God over the past couple of months because of the study.” In the months after Simeon’s death, our bible study became more of grief counseling. But we had an established group already, one that met every Tuesday night, even if it was just the three of us. So Ben had an outlet for his grief…and we prayed, and cried, and shared.
Since then, I wonder about God. Was he trying to prepare Ben for this tragedy? Really, Ben has been all over the place in his relationship with God, his faith weak at times and strong, too. As his life continues, though, he has yet to turn his back on God. Even when Ben was angry, he turned toward God and let him have it. I truly see Ben’s life as a testimony for the tried and grief stricken. He has brought God soooo much glory.
Terror
I look at their faces and want to help. I hear them crying out for that help and I want to give it to them. I think about what I am able to really do and all I come up with is prayer and money. I feel weird about praying for some reason. I'm confused by this "act of God." My thinking is that God didn't do it...but he allowed it. Yes, yes, yes, I know he is all knowing so I understand that he has better judgement than I do. I guess I just feel weird praying when I don't know the whole plan. At least this time anyway.
I was at my niece's birthday party when I found out about it from Joey. My step-father said, "you know what your grandfather told me before he died, Holly?" "What?" "He said that every once in awhile, God 'cleans house' with a huge natural disastor. It's almost like he is trying to even the population out again." "Hmmm...." I said, "doesn't sound like the God I'm getting to know." "Well, think about it," Dean replied, "maybe God said, 'sure, this is going to be horrific, but I've got something better for you.'"
Crazy thing is that I didn't even know what a Tsunami was until Christmas night. I got my dad this cool weather alert radio which will go off if there is an emergency. I was looking at all the codes and said, "what is a Tsunami?" My 12-year-old nephew said, "a giant wave you never want to meet. They only happen near Asia." "Oh, cool," I joked, "Dad, this radio will alert you if there is ever a Tsunami." Ha ha. Little did I know, at nearly the same moment, on the otherside of the world, the birth pains were beginning for one of the greatest disastors of our time.
Don't sit there. Do something. Anything. Do it. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
I was at my niece's birthday party when I found out about it from Joey. My step-father said, "you know what your grandfather told me before he died, Holly?" "What?" "He said that every once in awhile, God 'cleans house' with a huge natural disastor. It's almost like he is trying to even the population out again." "Hmmm...." I said, "doesn't sound like the God I'm getting to know." "Well, think about it," Dean replied, "maybe God said, 'sure, this is going to be horrific, but I've got something better for you.'"
Crazy thing is that I didn't even know what a Tsunami was until Christmas night. I got my dad this cool weather alert radio which will go off if there is an emergency. I was looking at all the codes and said, "what is a Tsunami?" My 12-year-old nephew said, "a giant wave you never want to meet. They only happen near Asia." "Oh, cool," I joked, "Dad, this radio will alert you if there is ever a Tsunami." Ha ha. Little did I know, at nearly the same moment, on the otherside of the world, the birth pains were beginning for one of the greatest disastors of our time.
Don't sit there. Do something. Anything. Do it. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Trip Around The Sun Highlights
Here they are. Some highlights from 2004. I don't have pictures for every highlight but its the best I can do right now. Just wanted you to know I'm not suicidal or anything.
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Friday, December 24, 2004
Pets
I had to write this. I'm sure I'm the only who thought it was funny.
I'm sitting here with my niece and nephew.
Brad: You know what sucks?
Me: What?
Brad: We can't have any pets. Mom is allergic to cats and dogs, papa won't let us have rodents, Mom says reptiles carry salmonella, and all of my fish committed suicide.
Me: Suicide?
Lyndsay: Yeah, they all jumped out of the tank.
Me: At the same time?
Lyndsay: Pretty much. Monkey see, Monkey do.
Brad: Yeah, and even my favorite one jumped.
Me: What made him so special?
Brad: I don't know. He was just my favorite.
Happy Christmas Eve
I'm sitting here with my niece and nephew.
Brad: You know what sucks?
Me: What?
Brad: We can't have any pets. Mom is allergic to cats and dogs, papa won't let us have rodents, Mom says reptiles carry salmonella, and all of my fish committed suicide.
Me: Suicide?
Lyndsay: Yeah, they all jumped out of the tank.
Me: At the same time?
Lyndsay: Pretty much. Monkey see, Monkey do.
Brad: Yeah, and even my favorite one jumped.
Me: What made him so special?
Brad: I don't know. He was just my favorite.
Happy Christmas Eve
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Why 2004 Sucked
1.) Melissa’s mom died.
2.) Patrick Schutte died.
3.) Simeon died.
4.) Grandma died.
5.) Margurite died.
6.) Ben moved away.
7.) Marlene moved away.
8.) Andy moved away.
9.) Joey and I broke up.
10.) Dental work.
11.) Went to 1 to 1 department and left the Best Team Ever (which sucked at first).
12.) Lived in a small room for almost the whole year.
13.) Washington D.C.
14.) Jason Brisboe was killed in a car accident.
15.) Bought my first new car but couldn't sell my old one (anyone want to buy a 2000 Impala with only 63,000 miles?)
I'm sure there is more but that is all I could think of right now.
2.) Patrick Schutte died.
3.) Simeon died.
4.) Grandma died.
5.) Margurite died.
6.) Ben moved away.
7.) Marlene moved away.
8.) Andy moved away.
9.) Joey and I broke up.
10.) Dental work.
11.) Went to 1 to 1 department and left the Best Team Ever (which sucked at first).
12.) Lived in a small room for almost the whole year.
13.) Washington D.C.
14.) Jason Brisboe was killed in a car accident.
15.) Bought my first new car but couldn't sell my old one (anyone want to buy a 2000 Impala with only 63,000 miles?)
I'm sure there is more but that is all I could think of right now.
Why 2003 Rocked
It is the year end and I've been thinking a lot about the life I had in 2003 compared to 2004. So, prepare to be bored...
1.) Met up with Joey again after 9 years.
2.) Lived in my own apartment.
3.) Valassis
a. Got my first big bonus
b. Promoted to Program Leader on Pizza Hut team
c. Part of the Best Team Ever: Krissie, Marlene, Kelly, Boz, Geeta, Brenda, & Ben.
d. My co-workers became my closest friends. We had so much fun at work and outside of work, too.
4.) The places I went:
a. Graceland
b. Nashville
c. Cheeseburger In Paradise
d. Chicago
e. Cincinnati
5.) The weddings I attended:
a. Jason & Greta
b. Brandon & Melissa
c. Chip & Stephanie
6.) The weddings I was in:
a. Angie & Patrick (so much fun!)
7.) Happy Hours.
8.) The Blackout of 2003 (yes, I thought it was a blast)
9.) Sold my Grand Am and got an Impala (which would later suck in 2004)
10.) Tailgating at State with Marlene and Joey
11.) Christmas
12.) Cubbies were in the World Series (and I watched almost every game)
13.) Concerts I went to:
a. Buffett @ DTE
b. Buffett in Cinci
c. Beach Boys @ DTE
14.) And the single most significant thing that rocked in 2003 and all the years of my life was that I became a Christ Follower and found a church that I adore (though don't always agree with--much like my family).
Why 2003 Sucked
1.) Becky’s mom died.
2.) Bush and I broke up after 5 years.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Jane Marie
Me: Jane, do you have any spare change for my big, red cup? (Extends cup to receive change.)
Jane: What? Where does the money go?
Me: My bank account.
Jane: Oh, hold on then (looks for money).
Me: No, really it is going to an orphanage in Haiti.
Jane: What? Are you serious?
Me: Yes, Jane...why are you so surprised? Do I not seem like the type?
Jane: (Smiles and keeps smiling) Um.....here you go! (Drops change in cup.)
Me: Thanks, Jane! Now, did you give with joy in your heart?
Jane: Yes...and with feet in my socks.
Me: God wouldn't want it any other way...
Jane: What? Where does the money go?
Me: My bank account.
Jane: Oh, hold on then (looks for money).
Me: No, really it is going to an orphanage in Haiti.
Jane: What? Are you serious?
Me: Yes, Jane...why are you so surprised? Do I not seem like the type?
Jane: (Smiles and keeps smiling) Um.....here you go! (Drops change in cup.)
Me: Thanks, Jane! Now, did you give with joy in your heart?
Jane: Yes...and with feet in my socks.
Me: God wouldn't want it any other way...
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Oh...the drama
My niece, who will be 8 on 12/26, forgot her earrings today. She asked her teacher, Mr. Smyth, if he would call her mother and ask to have them dropped off. Can you imagine??? Not only could I have not asked my teacher to do something like that...a male teacher??? Ha! Yeah right! Well....actually, he did it. He called my sister and asked her to bring Lyndsay's earrings by at lunch. So, the little princess got her earrings and all was well in Lyndsay Land.
As a sidenote, I think she was scared the earring holes would close if she didn't have any in and convinced Mr. Smyth this might be a catastrophe of some sort.
As a sidenote, I think she was scared the earring holes would close if she didn't have any in and convinced Mr. Smyth this might be a catastrophe of some sort.
Affirmation
I soooo needed to read this today from my friend, Dan:
I'm still reading the new Don Miller book and finding that it is almost exactly what I've been thinking about for my next sermon. The text that I was starting with is Jeremiah 9. God says pretty much "don't boast about what you have, what you know or what you do, but boast that you know me..." It's weird cause it seems we are wired to need/want affirmation in our lives from other people, but when we find our value in that and not God, then we can be boasting in what we do.
Like I've been writing lately, I do need/seek affirmation. Sometimes it is because I want to know if I'm getting it all right. But the truth is...everyone likes to be right. I'm okay with being wrong (sometimes) but...I don't know...a lot of times I look for guidance from other humans who have been at this longer.
I'm going through this crazy "thing" right now. Someone who I've known for almost ever, called me out. They seem to think this part of my life is a phase...that I'm trying to find myself. The accusation almost made me cry. It hurt. I wasn't so much angry but I felt bad that the good which is coming out from God through me, could be washed away with a few simple words. It drives me batty to think that those who are closest to me think I am a Jesus Freak...when really, I haven't changed all THAT much. But I knew this was coming. Jesus said it would.
I remember the teaching that Noel gave about taking up your cross, counting the cost...and hating your family and friends in comparison to your love for God. Of course, these aren't Noel's words, these are Jesus' but it was through Noel that I finally understood: this decision, this following Christ thing, wasn't going to be easy or very popular with my peeps.
For the most part, I've kept all the same friends. I've reached out to them in different ways, let them know the last thing I want is for them to feel like I'm some self-righteous witch out to try to change all of them. I only want to support and be there...and if God uses me to get to some of them, I'll know it. Right now, I'm kind of hanging out and trying to lead by example or something like that.
Two last thoughts (for today): I am still me. I still love to dance, hang out with my friends, have some beer, perhaps a jack and coke, wine. I still love food and sometimes over-eating (gluttony). I still love Buffett and Snopp Dogg and Night Ranger and Ambrosia. I still go to the mall and spend money on myself when I probably shouldn't. I still swear...Occasionally...and yes, it comes from the heart. But none of this matters because none of it is about me anymore. And as freaky as that is for some people to know, it hasn't been about me for some time now. It is about my new best friend, the one I look to, the one I thank for all sorts of things throughout the day, the one who accepts me, the one I sing songs to, and cry to and get mad at and the one who feeds me and uses me and teaches me. It is all about him.
Damn, I wish being a Christ Follower were a cool thing to do...I guess I'll join the rest of you freaks, though :o)
I'm still reading the new Don Miller book and finding that it is almost exactly what I've been thinking about for my next sermon. The text that I was starting with is Jeremiah 9. God says pretty much "don't boast about what you have, what you know or what you do, but boast that you know me..." It's weird cause it seems we are wired to need/want affirmation in our lives from other people, but when we find our value in that and not God, then we can be boasting in what we do.
Like I've been writing lately, I do need/seek affirmation. Sometimes it is because I want to know if I'm getting it all right. But the truth is...everyone likes to be right. I'm okay with being wrong (sometimes) but...I don't know...a lot of times I look for guidance from other humans who have been at this longer.
I'm going through this crazy "thing" right now. Someone who I've known for almost ever, called me out. They seem to think this part of my life is a phase...that I'm trying to find myself. The accusation almost made me cry. It hurt. I wasn't so much angry but I felt bad that the good which is coming out from God through me, could be washed away with a few simple words. It drives me batty to think that those who are closest to me think I am a Jesus Freak...when really, I haven't changed all THAT much. But I knew this was coming. Jesus said it would.
I remember the teaching that Noel gave about taking up your cross, counting the cost...and hating your family and friends in comparison to your love for God. Of course, these aren't Noel's words, these are Jesus' but it was through Noel that I finally understood: this decision, this following Christ thing, wasn't going to be easy or very popular with my peeps.
For the most part, I've kept all the same friends. I've reached out to them in different ways, let them know the last thing I want is for them to feel like I'm some self-righteous witch out to try to change all of them. I only want to support and be there...and if God uses me to get to some of them, I'll know it. Right now, I'm kind of hanging out and trying to lead by example or something like that.
Two last thoughts (for today): I am still me. I still love to dance, hang out with my friends, have some beer, perhaps a jack and coke, wine. I still love food and sometimes over-eating (gluttony). I still love Buffett and Snopp Dogg and Night Ranger and Ambrosia. I still go to the mall and spend money on myself when I probably shouldn't. I still swear...Occasionally...and yes, it comes from the heart. But none of this matters because none of it is about me anymore. And as freaky as that is for some people to know, it hasn't been about me for some time now. It is about my new best friend, the one I look to, the one I thank for all sorts of things throughout the day, the one who accepts me, the one I sing songs to, and cry to and get mad at and the one who feeds me and uses me and teaches me. It is all about him.
Damn, I wish being a Christ Follower were a cool thing to do...I guess I'll join the rest of you freaks, though :o)
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
The Dentist
I went to the dentist last week for my bi-annual cleaning. I feel like I own the place I've sunk so much money in it. I've definitely become a princess this year with all the crowns they gave me (ha ha..heh...grumble). But that is what I get for not paying much attention to my teeth.
The visit was a good one, though. I made a commitment to floss every night and I've been very good about it. I was amazed how easy my cleaning went and I now have hope for the future of my mouth. :o) Oh, I don't know if I have any cavities or not...there wasn't enough money left on my insurance to have the dentist take a look. :o)
The visit was a good one, though. I made a commitment to floss every night and I've been very good about it. I was amazed how easy my cleaning went and I now have hope for the future of my mouth. :o) Oh, I don't know if I have any cavities or not...there wasn't enough money left on my insurance to have the dentist take a look. :o)
Disney Princess
You Are Megara
Charming and witty. You are always the first person to come up with a wisecrack. Sure, you have an attitude, but that's why people love you. You keep them on their toes. Sometimes you can be misleading, but always end up doing the right thing for the people you love.
Does this sound like me? Do people love me because I'm a smartass?
I think this is kind of interesting because I can be misleading. For example, it may appear that I am cynical at times but I think what is really happening is I get down about the world around me, the world I used to be apart of, the world I still am a part of. I see people getting hurt over and over but can't get out of their sinning cycles. Sometimes, I get down because I want to protect those that are so dear to me...like Jesus.
I want to clarify that I am not cynical about Christmas. I think I made it clear how much I like the holiday. I think I was going beyond, beyond with my unoriginal ideas, though. I realized Jesus doesn't want me to alienate Christmas if it alienates other people.
Oh, and I don't think I'm cool. I think I am wrong...all of the time...about a lot of ideas. It is pretty interesting sitting next to me in church. I'll hear something which is either completely opposite of something I've said or done....and then there are the days when I smile and say, "Got that one covered, God." I remember during the We Are Ambassadors teaching, the question was asked about our sex lives. I don't remember the exact question, but I knew my answer and I let myself be proud...or maybe I felt a smile beaming on me...or maybe I just felt good for getting that part of my life straightened out and serving God wholly instead of hole-y.
This year has been a struggle...giving up two of my sin areas. But I did it and I feel good because "I always end up doing the right thing for the people I love." And I love God.
Charming and witty. You are always the first person to come up with a wisecrack. Sure, you have an attitude, but that's why people love you. You keep them on their toes. Sometimes you can be misleading, but always end up doing the right thing for the people you love.
Does this sound like me? Do people love me because I'm a smartass?
I think this is kind of interesting because I can be misleading. For example, it may appear that I am cynical at times but I think what is really happening is I get down about the world around me, the world I used to be apart of, the world I still am a part of. I see people getting hurt over and over but can't get out of their sinning cycles. Sometimes, I get down because I want to protect those that are so dear to me...like Jesus.
I want to clarify that I am not cynical about Christmas. I think I made it clear how much I like the holiday. I think I was going beyond, beyond with my unoriginal ideas, though. I realized Jesus doesn't want me to alienate Christmas if it alienates other people.
Oh, and I don't think I'm cool. I think I am wrong...all of the time...about a lot of ideas. It is pretty interesting sitting next to me in church. I'll hear something which is either completely opposite of something I've said or done....and then there are the days when I smile and say, "Got that one covered, God." I remember during the We Are Ambassadors teaching, the question was asked about our sex lives. I don't remember the exact question, but I knew my answer and I let myself be proud...or maybe I felt a smile beaming on me...or maybe I just felt good for getting that part of my life straightened out and serving God wholly instead of hole-y.
This year has been a struggle...giving up two of my sin areas. But I did it and I feel good because "I always end up doing the right thing for the people I love." And I love God.
Friday, December 10, 2004
December 10th
Today is her birthday and I'm sad. It's rainy and blah outside which fits my mood inside. I hope to get the Memorial DVD my cousin and I made tonight so I can watch it and remember her. I'm also going square dancing tonight with some pals. We are going to crash some square dancing club thing (I think you have to be a member but perhaps they'll feel sorry for me after my sob story and let me join). Anyhow, I'm still going to "celebrate" because she loved her birthday. I know she has a new birthday, though. Kind of weird that the day she died was actually a kind of a birthday, too, because she was born into heaven. At least I hope. I have faith she's there. Still, being left in this gloomy place without her, I'm trying my best to understand she's really gone. My human feelings though feel sad and that it is a little unfair. I don't really understand but I think that is how God made us. He doesn't always want or expect us to understand. But he does expect and want us to have faith and I do.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Buffett Part I
My Life in 400 Words or Less by Jimmy Buffett
I broke out of the grip of Catholicism and made it through adolescence without killing myself in a car. I flunked out of college. I learned to play the guitar, lived on the beach, lived in the French Quarter, finally got laid, and didn't go to Vietnam. I got back into school, started a band, got a job on Bourbon Street, graduated from college, flunked my draft physical, broke up my band, and went out on the road solo. I signed a record deal, got married, moved to Nashville, had my guitar stolen, bought a Mercedes, worked at Billboard magazine, put out my first album, went broke, met Jerry Jeff Walker, wrecked the Mercedes, got divorced, and moved to Key West. I sang and worked on a fishing boat, went totally crazy, did a lot of dope, met the right girl, made another record, had a hit, bought a boat, and sailed away to the Caribbean. I started another band, worked the road, had my second and last hit, bought a house in Aspen, started spending summers in New England, got married, broke my leg three times in one year, had a baby girl, made more records, bought a bigger boat, and sailed away to St. Barts. I got separated from the right girl, sold the boat, sold the house in Aspen, moved back to Key West, worked the road, and made more records. I rented an apartment in Paris, went to Brazil for Carnival, learned to fly, went into therapy, quit doing dope, bought my first seaplane, flew all over the Caribbean, almost got a second divorce, moved to Malibu for mer therapy, and got back with the right girl.
I worked the road, moved back to Nashville, took off in an F-14 from an aircraft carrier, bought a summer home on Long Island, had another baby girl. I found the perfect seaplane and moved back to Florida. Cameron Marley joined me in the house of women. I built a home on Long Island, crashed the perfect seaplane in Nantucket, lived through it thanks to navy training, tried to slow down a little, woke up one morning and I was looking at fifty, trying to figure out what comes next.
I broke out of the grip of Catholicism and made it through adolescence without killing myself in a car. I flunked out of college. I learned to play the guitar, lived on the beach, lived in the French Quarter, finally got laid, and didn't go to Vietnam. I got back into school, started a band, got a job on Bourbon Street, graduated from college, flunked my draft physical, broke up my band, and went out on the road solo. I signed a record deal, got married, moved to Nashville, had my guitar stolen, bought a Mercedes, worked at Billboard magazine, put out my first album, went broke, met Jerry Jeff Walker, wrecked the Mercedes, got divorced, and moved to Key West. I sang and worked on a fishing boat, went totally crazy, did a lot of dope, met the right girl, made another record, had a hit, bought a boat, and sailed away to the Caribbean. I started another band, worked the road, had my second and last hit, bought a house in Aspen, started spending summers in New England, got married, broke my leg three times in one year, had a baby girl, made more records, bought a bigger boat, and sailed away to St. Barts. I got separated from the right girl, sold the boat, sold the house in Aspen, moved back to Key West, worked the road, and made more records. I rented an apartment in Paris, went to Brazil for Carnival, learned to fly, went into therapy, quit doing dope, bought my first seaplane, flew all over the Caribbean, almost got a second divorce, moved to Malibu for mer therapy, and got back with the right girl.
I worked the road, moved back to Nashville, took off in an F-14 from an aircraft carrier, bought a summer home on Long Island, had another baby girl. I found the perfect seaplane and moved back to Florida. Cameron Marley joined me in the house of women. I built a home on Long Island, crashed the perfect seaplane in Nantucket, lived through it thanks to navy training, tried to slow down a little, woke up one morning and I was looking at fifty, trying to figure out what comes next.
Buffett in December--A Beautiful Thing
I attended A COASTAL CONFESSION: AN EVENING WITH JIMMY BUFFETT last night at the United Artist movie theater approximately 5 miles from my residence.
And booooo on my friends who didn’t show last night, though none of them read this blog (yet—I’m sure Dan we’ll find out who my friends are and tell them about this boring thing—ha ha on you, Dan). I still found a parrothead friend in the last days so I didn’t have to fly solo.
The show was amazing.
The Coastal Confession took place in New Orleans and had that New Orleans feel to it. Jimmy came out in a long sleeve, button up shirt (not tucked in), jeans, and loafers. He promptly removed his shoes when he sat down to play the first song. It was a change of pace because he didn’t have the full Coral Reefer Band backing him up. He had a piano, two acoustics (him playing one), conga drums, steel drums and back up singers. Very cool and laid back. Buffet unplugged.
There were loud mouths shouting stuff through the whole thing but Jimmy kept his cool. One dude shouted, “Why don’t we get drunk and screw!!” Jimmy shook his head and said, "We do that one in the summer shows.” He followed up with "I remember my first beer…" I almost laughed myself off my chair.
There were a lot of funny moments but don’t want to bore you with all of them (plus I don’t remember). Someone asked about Jimmy’s Little Miss Magic and what she was up to now. Jimmy said, “My Little Miss Magic is STILL IN COLLEGE at 25-years-old!” I guess she is taking film at Miami University. Someone else asked about the link between Deadheads and Parrotheads and also if Jerry Garcia was a closet Parrothead. Buffett said yes and talked about the time when the Grateful Dead played a venue on Thursday & Friday and then the Coral Reefers came and played Saturday & Sunday. Jimmy looked out into the crowd at the Sunday show and could tell who had been to all four concerts. He and Jerry also discussed doing a show together.
I laughed pretty hard when Buffett was finished and went off stage. They forgot to turn his mic off so you heard him say, “How long was that?” “2 hours.” “No shit!” Cut the mic.
The acoustics in the movie theater were excellent. I felt like Jimmy was on a stage in front of me. It really was a cool idea and I would do it again. All of the songs he played were great, too. He covered a Lyle Lovett, James Taylor and the best was “Wind Cries Mary” by Jimi Hendrix.
All of this just reinforced my love for Buffett’s music (and the man himself). Yes, I feel a kinship with someone I’ve never met. Ooooooh, weird you say? But why Jimmy? People can really go either way with him. I’m going to do a study about why he is my favorite artist and you’ll have to suffer through it. Ha ha.
And booooo on my friends who didn’t show last night, though none of them read this blog (yet—I’m sure Dan we’ll find out who my friends are and tell them about this boring thing—ha ha on you, Dan). I still found a parrothead friend in the last days so I didn’t have to fly solo.
The show was amazing.
The Coastal Confession took place in New Orleans and had that New Orleans feel to it. Jimmy came out in a long sleeve, button up shirt (not tucked in), jeans, and loafers. He promptly removed his shoes when he sat down to play the first song. It was a change of pace because he didn’t have the full Coral Reefer Band backing him up. He had a piano, two acoustics (him playing one), conga drums, steel drums and back up singers. Very cool and laid back. Buffet unplugged.
There were loud mouths shouting stuff through the whole thing but Jimmy kept his cool. One dude shouted, “Why don’t we get drunk and screw!!” Jimmy shook his head and said, "We do that one in the summer shows.” He followed up with "I remember my first beer…" I almost laughed myself off my chair.
There were a lot of funny moments but don’t want to bore you with all of them (plus I don’t remember). Someone asked about Jimmy’s Little Miss Magic and what she was up to now. Jimmy said, “My Little Miss Magic is STILL IN COLLEGE at 25-years-old!” I guess she is taking film at Miami University. Someone else asked about the link between Deadheads and Parrotheads and also if Jerry Garcia was a closet Parrothead. Buffett said yes and talked about the time when the Grateful Dead played a venue on Thursday & Friday and then the Coral Reefers came and played Saturday & Sunday. Jimmy looked out into the crowd at the Sunday show and could tell who had been to all four concerts. He and Jerry also discussed doing a show together.
I laughed pretty hard when Buffett was finished and went off stage. They forgot to turn his mic off so you heard him say, “How long was that?” “2 hours.” “No shit!” Cut the mic.
The acoustics in the movie theater were excellent. I felt like Jimmy was on a stage in front of me. It really was a cool idea and I would do it again. All of the songs he played were great, too. He covered a Lyle Lovett, James Taylor and the best was “Wind Cries Mary” by Jimi Hendrix.
All of this just reinforced my love for Buffett’s music (and the man himself). Yes, I feel a kinship with someone I’ve never met. Ooooooh, weird you say? But why Jimmy? People can really go either way with him. I’m going to do a study about why he is my favorite artist and you’ll have to suffer through it. Ha ha.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
Another One Bites It...
Just kidding, Ben :o)
My friend Ben got engaged and I'm really happy for the two of them. Can't wait to see the kids, either. I hope they come out with brown hair and brown eyes (he and his fiance are extremely fair with blonde hair and blue eyes). Don't forget, Ben, that I'm giving you away so your dad can be the best man. I think that's how it works anyway.
My friend Ben got engaged and I'm really happy for the two of them. Can't wait to see the kids, either. I hope they come out with brown hair and brown eyes (he and his fiance are extremely fair with blonde hair and blue eyes). Don't forget, Ben, that I'm giving you away so your dad can be the best man. I think that's how it works anyway.
10 People To Meet
I watched 5 People You Meet In Heaven last night. Nope, didn't read the book. I can only handle Mitch Albom in small doses. The program was actually okay. It held my attention while I shredded old paperwork. I was actually wrong about the ending, too. I told the air (because no one was there to hear me) that the little girl Eddie was trying to save, lived (which was correct) but that Eddie would be one of her 5 people someday (I'm positive that was where Mitch was going with this anyhow). Still, I hope heaven isn't like this tale. In fact, I know it probably isn't because Eddie was feeling so much pain. Also, when does he get to meet his maker? Was he trapped in some type of purgatory? Weird.
I sat there hoping to God that when I die, I don't have to roam the halls of Valassis and learn about all the peoples lives I saved and took (my job is so violent at times). Then, I thought, "Who would my five people be?" After panicking for a moment, I decided a better question was "What 10 people would I want to meet?" Not 10 people I would want to see but assuming I could meet anyone in heaven, someone I never met, who? And why 10? Because 5 just doesn't seem like enough and 15 is boring.
1. My Grandpa Beavers--I've only heard stories. I have one picture of him holding me before the cancer got him. I would ask him what his childhood was like, how was it raising my father, was he nervous about building a golf course... I would ask how he felt when he heard I was going to be born and what went through his mind the first time he met me ("get this stinkin kid a new diaper") . I know I wasn't born into a great parental situation so I guess I just wonder what he thought. Then, I would ask him to square dance with me.
2. Laura Ingalls Wilder--I'm a huge fan. Love the books. I have read them more times then I know. I've been to most of the places she lived. I would ask her more about her family, especially Pa. Perhaps she and I could make a quilt together (see, in heaven, I'll know how to sew) or I could listen to her tell stories from when she was growing up.
3. Buddy Holly--I would ask him to sing Rave On or True Love Ways. He would ask me to join in a duet. Then, he would ask me to stop (I don't think I'll ever be able to sing, even in heaven).
4. Abe--I would have so many questions for Abe about the war, growing up, if he really wrestled a wildcat, etc. Then, I would just sit back and listen to him tell funny stories.
5. George Harrison--My favorite Beatle. Perhaps, if John is there, too, they could perform a little concert. I would request songs that George wrote, though.
6. Sim--I only met him once but I think I would ask him what is so darn special about Apple computers. I would also see if he could hook me up with an iPod and all the free music (this is heaven, after all). We would hang out and he would play some G Love songs on his guitar. Then we'd go to the bar and have a drink so we could swap stories about Ben (just kidding). I would tell him how much everyone misses him, how they are trying to live without him, how much he impacted my life...but he would already know.
7. There are two people who I never met but I know they died because of my actions. I would probably just check in, say I'm sorry.
8. Fluffy--please, don't tell me Fluffy Roo isn't in heaven. I know she is there waiting for me.
9. Paul--I would ask Paul sooooooooo many things. You know what they are :o)
10. Of course, the first being I would want to see when I go home, is my God and Jesus. They didn't make an appearance in the movie last night but I hope to see them almost immediately.
Thus concludes my boring list. Any ghost readers out there have a list?
I sat there hoping to God that when I die, I don't have to roam the halls of Valassis and learn about all the peoples lives I saved and took (my job is so violent at times). Then, I thought, "Who would my five people be?" After panicking for a moment, I decided a better question was "What 10 people would I want to meet?" Not 10 people I would want to see but assuming I could meet anyone in heaven, someone I never met, who? And why 10? Because 5 just doesn't seem like enough and 15 is boring.
1. My Grandpa Beavers--I've only heard stories. I have one picture of him holding me before the cancer got him. I would ask him what his childhood was like, how was it raising my father, was he nervous about building a golf course... I would ask how he felt when he heard I was going to be born and what went through his mind the first time he met me ("get this stinkin kid a new diaper") . I know I wasn't born into a great parental situation so I guess I just wonder what he thought. Then, I would ask him to square dance with me.
2. Laura Ingalls Wilder--I'm a huge fan. Love the books. I have read them more times then I know. I've been to most of the places she lived. I would ask her more about her family, especially Pa. Perhaps she and I could make a quilt together (see, in heaven, I'll know how to sew) or I could listen to her tell stories from when she was growing up.
3. Buddy Holly--I would ask him to sing Rave On or True Love Ways. He would ask me to join in a duet. Then, he would ask me to stop (I don't think I'll ever be able to sing, even in heaven).
4. Abe--I would have so many questions for Abe about the war, growing up, if he really wrestled a wildcat, etc. Then, I would just sit back and listen to him tell funny stories.
5. George Harrison--My favorite Beatle. Perhaps, if John is there, too, they could perform a little concert. I would request songs that George wrote, though.
6. Sim--I only met him once but I think I would ask him what is so darn special about Apple computers. I would also see if he could hook me up with an iPod and all the free music (this is heaven, after all). We would hang out and he would play some G Love songs on his guitar. Then we'd go to the bar and have a drink so we could swap stories about Ben (just kidding). I would tell him how much everyone misses him, how they are trying to live without him, how much he impacted my life...but he would already know.
7. There are two people who I never met but I know they died because of my actions. I would probably just check in, say I'm sorry.
8. Fluffy--please, don't tell me Fluffy Roo isn't in heaven. I know she is there waiting for me.
9. Paul--I would ask Paul sooooooooo many things. You know what they are :o)
10. Of course, the first being I would want to see when I go home, is my God and Jesus. They didn't make an appearance in the movie last night but I hope to see them almost immediately.
Thus concludes my boring list. Any ghost readers out there have a list?
Friday, December 03, 2004
Giftmas
***Another long blog I'm probably really wrong about...just trying to pretend I'm deep--ha!***
Last night, I heard an awesome commentary from John Boykin on NPR. The title of his commentary was “Can the 'Christ' Be Kept in Christmas?”
Boykin began his commentary on how he boycotts the first store to put out Christmas stuff. He began his boycott in October. I rolled my eyes. “Come on, guy,” I thought. I mean, this is Christmas after all. Do you really have to be so self righteous about it? I mean, this guy was totally taking it all the wrong way. But I listened…and it felt like Boykin’s words were feelings and thoughts that had been bottling up inside me for some time.
Boykin said, “If Jesus was God’s way of walking the earth, He is the wrong person to trivialize.” He explained that he wasn’t fighting the commercialism of Christmas (that fight was lost long ago) but that he, Boykin, wants to focus on the “disentanglement” of Jesus from Christmas.
Churches remind us not to forget the “Christ” in Christmas….Boykin wants to free Christ from Christmas altogether.
He contrasted Martin Luther King, Jr. Day with Christmas Day. On MLK Day, we focus on the man, his legacy, the impact he had on society. We don’t even think about his birth. Christmas, Boykin states, has “no time for what the adult Jesus said and did.” Christmas keeps him “safely shut up as a baby in a manger where he can’t make his usual noise about people repenting and living a Godly life.”
This blew me away. I mean, I know all about the retailer focus of Christmas, giving gifts, making others happy, but when you think about it, it really has little to do with who Christ is. For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been thinking about Christmas and what it really means to me. Really, it means getting the perfect gift for someone—someone who already has everything they need and more but also the one who has nothing. But something isn’t quite sitting right this holiday season. It started when Joey and I went to Staples at 6am on Black Friday. We saw a woman publicly berate her mother for not being quick enough in grabbing the last doorbuster item…all in the name of the perfect Christmas gift. Oh, wouldn’t Jesus be proud….
Last night, I saw a risqué commercial for Victoria’s Secret. Women parading around in their skivvies saying, “Tell me I’m sexy, tell me you love me, tell me you want me…get me the perfect Christmas gift…push up bra and matching thong…” I felt disgusted. This is how we celebrate Jesus’ birthday? How much does all of this have to do with our Savior?
Boykin said, “We do him no honor by carting him out once a year and standing him on his head.”
Boykin asked, “Does his birth matter?” Yes, to his followers it is important to celebrate his birth as a way to back up Jesus’ claim of being the son of God. “But Jesus didn’t back up his claim this way. He pointed not to his birth, but to his resurrection.” He blatently said, “Don’t celebrate my life, only my death.” He wanted us to remember him for what he did in the end. We bring out the Easter Bunny to squeeze the significance of that event.
Christmas is easy for non-Christ followers. They don’t have to think about where this baby’s life ended up. They don’t have to remember it was his last three years on earth which mattered the most. They don’t even have to focus on anything he taught us. The truth is that Christmas is about gifts and food and family. The lie is that it is about this little baby who ended up saving us. I mean, if my roommate’s father, a self-proclaimed atheist, can celebrate Christmas, don’t we really know what it ISN’T about?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m not going to celebrate Christmas. I’m not trying to be dogmatic or a scrooge or say there is nothing good about Christmas. There is a lot that is good about it…but the more I learn about Jesus, the more I realize how little he has to do with this holiday. I’m still going to celebrate. I’m still going to give gifts. I’m still going to help out where I can. I’m still going to reflect on that holy night God came into the world as a human baby. And I still like Christmas…a lot.
Boykin’s point of the commentary was not to stop celebrating Christmas, either, but to take Christ out of it because he really has such a small roll in it anyway. Jesus fought hypocrisy and according to Boykin it was not the kind of hypocrisy where you say one thing and do another. It was the hypocrisy of “using God and things of God as a means to some other end…like ohhh…say…making a buck.” He related it to the money changers in the temples. Again, Boykin said he didn’t want to cancel Christmas but he would “trade a month of Christmases for one meaningful Easter.”
After all, “Jesus was not born to be the patron saint of 4th quarter earnings.”
Last night, I heard an awesome commentary from John Boykin on NPR. The title of his commentary was “Can the 'Christ' Be Kept in Christmas?”
Boykin began his commentary on how he boycotts the first store to put out Christmas stuff. He began his boycott in October. I rolled my eyes. “Come on, guy,” I thought. I mean, this is Christmas after all. Do you really have to be so self righteous about it? I mean, this guy was totally taking it all the wrong way. But I listened…and it felt like Boykin’s words were feelings and thoughts that had been bottling up inside me for some time.
Boykin said, “If Jesus was God’s way of walking the earth, He is the wrong person to trivialize.” He explained that he wasn’t fighting the commercialism of Christmas (that fight was lost long ago) but that he, Boykin, wants to focus on the “disentanglement” of Jesus from Christmas.
Churches remind us not to forget the “Christ” in Christmas….Boykin wants to free Christ from Christmas altogether.
He contrasted Martin Luther King, Jr. Day with Christmas Day. On MLK Day, we focus on the man, his legacy, the impact he had on society. We don’t even think about his birth. Christmas, Boykin states, has “no time for what the adult Jesus said and did.” Christmas keeps him “safely shut up as a baby in a manger where he can’t make his usual noise about people repenting and living a Godly life.”
This blew me away. I mean, I know all about the retailer focus of Christmas, giving gifts, making others happy, but when you think about it, it really has little to do with who Christ is. For a couple of weeks now, I’ve been thinking about Christmas and what it really means to me. Really, it means getting the perfect gift for someone—someone who already has everything they need and more but also the one who has nothing. But something isn’t quite sitting right this holiday season. It started when Joey and I went to Staples at 6am on Black Friday. We saw a woman publicly berate her mother for not being quick enough in grabbing the last doorbuster item…all in the name of the perfect Christmas gift. Oh, wouldn’t Jesus be proud….
Last night, I saw a risqué commercial for Victoria’s Secret. Women parading around in their skivvies saying, “Tell me I’m sexy, tell me you love me, tell me you want me…get me the perfect Christmas gift…push up bra and matching thong…” I felt disgusted. This is how we celebrate Jesus’ birthday? How much does all of this have to do with our Savior?
Boykin said, “We do him no honor by carting him out once a year and standing him on his head.”
Boykin asked, “Does his birth matter?” Yes, to his followers it is important to celebrate his birth as a way to back up Jesus’ claim of being the son of God. “But Jesus didn’t back up his claim this way. He pointed not to his birth, but to his resurrection.” He blatently said, “Don’t celebrate my life, only my death.” He wanted us to remember him for what he did in the end. We bring out the Easter Bunny to squeeze the significance of that event.
Christmas is easy for non-Christ followers. They don’t have to think about where this baby’s life ended up. They don’t have to remember it was his last three years on earth which mattered the most. They don’t even have to focus on anything he taught us. The truth is that Christmas is about gifts and food and family. The lie is that it is about this little baby who ended up saving us. I mean, if my roommate’s father, a self-proclaimed atheist, can celebrate Christmas, don’t we really know what it ISN’T about?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m not going to celebrate Christmas. I’m not trying to be dogmatic or a scrooge or say there is nothing good about Christmas. There is a lot that is good about it…but the more I learn about Jesus, the more I realize how little he has to do with this holiday. I’m still going to celebrate. I’m still going to give gifts. I’m still going to help out where I can. I’m still going to reflect on that holy night God came into the world as a human baby. And I still like Christmas…a lot.
Boykin’s point of the commentary was not to stop celebrating Christmas, either, but to take Christ out of it because he really has such a small roll in it anyway. Jesus fought hypocrisy and according to Boykin it was not the kind of hypocrisy where you say one thing and do another. It was the hypocrisy of “using God and things of God as a means to some other end…like ohhh…say…making a buck.” He related it to the money changers in the temples. Again, Boykin said he didn’t want to cancel Christmas but he would “trade a month of Christmases for one meaningful Easter.”
After all, “Jesus was not born to be the patron saint of 4th quarter earnings.”
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Something for Everyone
Only those who know Jane Marie will think this is funny...maybe.
I walked through the lobby of work the other day and was surprised to see the lobby decorated for the holidays.
Me: Wow! Jane, it looks nice in here.
Jane (receptionist, in her 60s picture a sweet, grandma type lady): Yeah!
Me: You've got the Christmas Tree, the menorahs, the dreidels...
Jane: Something for everyone (smile).
Me: What about the atheists, Jane? What do they get?
Jane: Shit.
I walked through the lobby of work the other day and was surprised to see the lobby decorated for the holidays.
Me: Wow! Jane, it looks nice in here.
Jane (receptionist, in her 60s picture a sweet, grandma type lady): Yeah!
Me: You've got the Christmas Tree, the menorahs, the dreidels...
Jane: Something for everyone (smile).
Me: What about the atheists, Jane? What do they get?
Jane: Shit.
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