The American Banking Association has a training program that [illustrates a great way to protect against counterfeits]. Each year it sends hundreds of bank tellers to Washington in order to teach them to detect counterfeit money,… It is most interesting that during the entire two-week training program, no teller touches counterfeit money. Only the original passes through his hands. The reason for this is that the American Banking Association is convinced that if a man is thoroughly familiar with the original, he will not be deceived by the counterfeit bill, no matter how much like the original it appears. It is the contention of this writer that if the average Christian would become familiar once again with the great foundations of his faith, he would be able to detect those counterfeit elements so apparent in the cult systems, which set themselves apart from biblical Christianity… Close familiarity with the genuine is the best protection against the counterfeit” (p.23).

Dr. Walter Martin, The Kingdom of the Cults

Better Health

I have the day off tomorrow to prepare for Krissie's wedding. Yes, a bridesmaid needs time to relax, too. I know. That's supposed to be humorous. But I still took the day off. I decided to drive to Better Health food store before 30 Rock started. I really wanted to go to Trader Joe's but that's 5 miles away. I could go to Better Health and back in 10 minutes. Plus, I was craving Kettle Krinkle Cut Salt & Fresh Ground Pepper chips (yum!).

I went in, grabbed the chips, picked up some Jack's salsa and turned my nose up at the high prices (dang, I love Trader Joe's). As i walked back to my car, I noticed some women stumbling into Gus O'Connor's. I looked down at my clothes. My comfy, gray sweat pants, black tee, blue fleece and flip flops. I looked at them, I looked at me, I remembered.

I remembered that 10 years ago on a Thursday night, that was me. I was at the Bird and then to Boomers and then to Blackstone. I was out late. I was drunk. I was a party girl pulling good grades. As I drove home, I was happy. Comfortable and happy. I was going to sit by myself, eat my chips and salsa, play on the internet and watch tv. Better health, indeed.

Religion bites

We sat down across from him hoping the conversation would go well. We weren't here for a fight. We just wanted to use the church facilities. We got the nice crap out of the way and broke it down plain and simple.

Him: Your church and our church have theological differences.
Us: What are they?
Him: You have a literal view of the Bible, correct?
Us: Well....(and here's where I'm thinking....doesn't everyone?!)....yes.
Him: So...you think God actually created everything in 6 days.
Us: (Again, I'm in shock) Well.....yeah....you don't?
Him: No...we think that is a figurative estimate (or something along those lines). We believe the first 11 chapters of Genesis are stories created to explain who we are in God.
Us: (my heart is racing...I've never heard of such a thing) Uh....stories? Like, they were made up? Like...they never happened?
Him: Rrrrrright.
At this point I could tell he was trying to make all of this as comfortable and respectful as possible but it was starting to slip towards REALLY uncomfortable.
Me: So, just so I understand what you are saying....Adam was not a real person. He never existed.
Him: Rrrrrrright.
Me: Ok.

This was where I had to take an emotional time out. My whole life I had been taught Adam and Eve were real people. When I was a pre-Christian, I read Genesis and took on the belief that none of that could have really happened. It was impossible. Those were figurative stories which helped explain why things are the way they are. When I became a believer, I realized it was still impossible...humanly impossible. But God ain't human and He is God. Yeah, it took Him six days.

Him: You probably don't believe in evolution, either, do you?
Us: (looking at each other...looking back to him) No...well, micro evolution but not macro.
Him: Please explain.
Me: I don't believe I came from an amoeba or an ape. I was created as is. I do think we have evolved or changed due to environment. Becoming taller overtime or losing the function of our appendix....but I'm always going to be a human...just like I am now.
Him: Okay.
Me: Listen, during our wedding service, we aren't going to talk about creation or evolution. We'll probably have our pastor share the gospel which is what you and I both have in common as brothers and sisters in Christ....but just to be sure....how do we get to heaven? Or, how are we saved?
Him: You're either in or your out. There's either heaven or hell. (Joey and I both look at each other, smile, let a sigh of relief escape us). There is nothing you can do to gain salvation. Nothing. It is all up to God's grace and if you are chosen by Him.
Me: So, what you're saying is that I declare myself a Christ Follower, I accept Jesus as my savior.... but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to heaven?
Him: I hope so.
Me: Hope? Wow. I thought I knew.

Joey and I had many opportunities to get into heated theological debates with this man, even over the most simple things....but we didn't. We were honest with him and he was honest with us. He was also trying to keep everything as positive as possible which we appreciated and tried to follow his lead. The only time I got a little defensive was when I was talking about submission in a marriage. He said he as glad we took comfort in that but his church does not believe in it. I came back with, "I'm not the one who made it up. I'm getting this from the Bible...from Corinthians." But Joe and I stayed on track. We submitted to his authority over the position he is in.

But that doesn't mean I didn't feel sick when I left. My spirit was grieving. I wanted to gather my pastors around and say, "what the heck is going on?!?! Why have you been teaching us this stuff? Where are you getting it from?? Why do I have to be different....the outsider...the weirdo." I wrestled with that for a minute or two until Chuck called us back. He put us at ease. He smoothed some things out.

I realized I was still a baby Christian. I still need help with understanding Christianity and why a church down the street has such different beliefs than me. And is that okay?

I realized I was maturing as a Christian because really, I didn't argue with him, but I knew in my heart, what he was saying wasn't right. Scripture was jumping into my head. I may not have been able to win any kind of debate but my faith was there. It was solid. It may have Chuck Norrised him.

Today at lunch, I thought about calling another church...one from the same religion as the church we visited yesterday. Instead, I found myself driving to this church. The rain soaked through my shoes to my socks as I ran through puddles to the door. With umbrella in hand, I reached for the handle and realized it was locked. Nuts. The door was only open on Sundays. Drat.

But I didn't turn around to leave. I just stood there in the rain. And I stood there.

And I stood there.

And someone saw me and let me in. I asked to speak to someone about the beliefs of the church. That someone welcomed me into his office and within a few minutes, I felt at ease. He knew I was a Christian. We agreed on many, many points. I left there feeling so lifted, especially when I saw the rainbow appear on his screen saver.

I opened the back door to the church and pulled out my umbrella, except, it wasn't raining anymore. I smiled such a big smile for God. I blew him a kiss and my heart burst with love for Him.

I did call one of our pastors just to talk and run a few things by him but when he didn't answer, God told me it was okay. No need to leave a message. You're fine.

Amazing

If you weren't at church two weeks ago when Noel talked about William Wilberforce, then I am sad to tell you it was one of the best. Could have been the very best. It was so good, I wish I had it on DVD.

It wasn't just amazing because I actually knew a little somethin' somethin' 'bout William. It wasn't only amazing because it was Joey's artwork. It wasn't simply amazing because Noel pointed out the birthday boy (who was the artist). It was all because of God...all the pieces fit and came together. Of course, we were wiping tears from our eyes afterward...I love those services. And here is what made me cry:

• It took William 40 years or so to win his fight of abolishing slavery in England. Would I be as willing to fight for something for so long...or would I give up...calling the effort useless?
• At one point, Noel had everyone who has been a Christian 10 years or less raise their hands. Bobby D and I, along with many others, had our hands in the air. Then, Noel said to keep our hands in the air if we have been a Christian 5 years or less. Bobby and I kept our hands in the air. Noel pointed at the two of us and said, "these two...right here. If God's patience had worn out 5 years ago, these two would be in hell." That blew me away. Sometimes I forget about the Lord's patience, especially when I'm in such a hurry. It is urgent to help the pre-christians. It needs to be more intentional. We need to seek out the brothers and sisters who have fallen off our radar and ask them what's up. We need to be like Paul...if someone goes to hell, it wasn't because of me.
  
• Get angry with God. Go ahead. Present your case. The mountains and hills are listening. But then, God will present His case against you. Do you really want to stand trial? Right down a list of all your blessings. The next time you want to state your case against your creator, pull out that list.
• The band came up and sang "Amazing Grace" with images behind them. Times were shown throughout history when that song was sung. It could be heard during the Civil War, both sides sang it, during WWI and WWII, during the Civil Rights movement and when MLK Jr. gave his "I Have A Dream Speech." Voices sang this healing song after 9/11 and as they marched through New Orleans after Katrina. All of it started with one man, a pastor named John Newton

One Month

Is this the longest I've gone without posting?

Every Day Deserves A Chance

Joseph didn't fit the prototype of a greeter. He didn't smell good. His salt-and-pepper beard seemed to reach his waist. A woolen hat contained his wiry hair. He'd lost more teeth than he'd kept. Other churches might have placed someone else at the front door of the church. But the Netivya congregation didn't. They knew his story and loved to retell it.

As Hitler ravaged eastern Europe decades earlier, Joseph was captured and imprisoned in a concentration camp. As he and hundreds of others were marched to the prison, he spotted a book protruding from the pocket of a dead Jew lying on the side of the road. He snatched and hid it, only later realizing it was a New Testament. He was able to read most of it before a guard at the camp took it from him.

After several months of unspeakable horrors, he escaped and eked out an existence in the woods for two years. At one point the hunger and cold compromised his better judgment, and he knocked on the door of a farmhouse, looking for food. He had no way of knowing an SS party was taking place within.

The Nazi officer who answered the door knew in a moment that Joseph was an escaped prisoner. he stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind him. "Do you know who I am?"

Joseph could only reply, "I am hungry."

After what seemed to Joseph like an eternity, the German holstered his pistol. "Hitler is a thousand miles from here, and he'll never know what I do." He entered the house and returned with a basket of food.

Joseph knew someone was protecting him.

After the war he made his way to Israel. The cruelty had exacted a high cost on his mind; he had trouble eating, carrying on a conversation, keeping a job. In many ways he checked out of civilization. Sometime in the early 1960s, a hitchhiking Joseph was given a ride by a Christian minister--Joe Shulam. When Joseph spotted a New Testament on the dash of the minister's car, he remembered the one he'd smuggled into the camp and asked to hear about Jesus. He said he wouldn't leave the car until he'd heard the entire story. The minister gladly obliged, and Joseph realized that Jesus had swayed the heart of the Nazi officer on that porch years before.

Joseph chose to follow Christ. Shulam took him to the church, and Joseph never left. He spent the rest of his days under the care of the congregation, greeting guests and writing letters to Christians around the world.

He, like the apostle Paul, indwelt a prison of misfortune. And he, like Paul, turned his cell into a commissary of hope. It's not easy to find joy in jail. Not easy to make the best of a derailed life. But God sends enough Paul and Joseph stories to convince us to give it a try.

From Max Lucado's book, Every Day Deserves A Chance

Triplets!

A couple Fridays ago, I finally, finally, FINALLY got to meet the triplets. I say finally because I wanted to give Jason and Greta time to themselves with their family, etc. I also wanted to make sure I was 100% healthy (and I had the time to visit). And yes, I got to meet all three of them but Niklas passed out before the picture was taken. He was tuckered from going to UofM earlier that day. Nothing major. They had to check on his shunt (which I barely even noticed).

I have to say this about the triplets. I have obviously seen and met a lot of babies in my life. They are all precious, sweet and the like. There is something about these babies, though, I connected with. I mean, they all have such different personalities. I held Lukas the longest. Here is a picture of his lobster butt:

They are so well behaved and Niklas was the most chatty of the three. Lukas is going to be the party goer. Gabbie seems reserved but she talked a little bit, too. The coolest part was being able to hold these little miracles. I can see how much they have changed Greta and Jason's lives. They are such good parents through and through. We talked about the decision so many people with multiples have to make. Lukas was the one they had the option to sacrifice to allow Gabbie and Niklas to grow more. I loved their answer: not a chance. No way. And look what they have? Three adorable, thriving babies...not just two.

It was awesome just talking to them about old times and laughing at some of our shenanigans. But when you come back to the present times, this is where they are happiest.

Trader Joe's

If I could open any business in Lansing, do you know what it would be? Why, yes! Trader Joe’s.

Problem 1: They don’t franchise.

So, my L-town friend have been asking me…what the heck is Trader Joe’s? Oh…my friends…Lansing is missing out.

http://www.traderjoes.com/
Just what is this thing we call Trader Joe’s? Well, we’re a grocery store, sure, but really so much more. Our shelves are stocked full of delicious foods and beverages from the basics like milk, bread and butter to more exotic fare like imported cheeses, organic produce and hand-tossed pizza from Italy. We taste every product before we decide to sell it, and we guarantee you’ll like it.

You might expect indulgences like these to come with unbecoming prices. But at Trader Joe’s, we’re as much about value as we are about great food. In other words, we keep our costs low, cut out the middleman whenever possible and pass our savings on to you in the form of terrific everyday prices. So you can afford to be adventurous without breaking the bank.

We travel the world in search of interesting, unique, great-tasting foods and beverages. We buy direct from the producer whenever possible. We strip away all the fancy stuff and focus on the important things like natural ingredients and inspiring flavors. We run a pretty lean ship, too - you won’t find any corporate jets or fancy offices around here. Heck, our CEO doesn’t even have a secretary!

How is shopping at Trader Joe's different from what you may be used to in a supermarket?At Trader Joe's, you won't find a lot of branded items. Instead, you'll find unconventional and interesting products in the Trader Joe's label as well as everyday basics. We buy products we think are winners and that’ll find a following among our customers. Sometimes it's a product we intend to stock as long as it sells well; and sometimes we buy a product which is in limited supply, sell through it, and you won't find it again. It’s all part of the shopping adventure at Trader Joe's.

Not to mention the $3 Chuck and Blueberry Wheat Beer.

Okay, so I can’t open a Trader Joe’s. What else would I want to open? What would you like to open? I have heard Sonic, Coffee Beanery, Baja Fresh….

Mentors

If you haven’t noticed, I have been writing a lot about how I could have so easily fallen through the cracks of Riverview. A large group of people did not “take me in” to make sure I didn’t get lost. No one asked me to be in their small group or join a Bible study. Fortunately for me, I’m a bit outgoing. I sometimes have to close my eyes, take a deep breath and jump but I do have the courage to move forward. Joey was there to show me how to read and find things in the Bible. I started a Bible study of my own. I tried to join a group at Riv and found out I was too young. But like I said, Jesus steered me and brought awesome people and opportunities my way.

Joey and I have been discussing this a lot lately. I’ve wondered if I am prejudice toward cute and outgoing people. Here is why I say that: all of my friends are cute, outgoing and saved. But what about….let’s face it…the not as attractive….or the not as outgoing people? I’ve seen some of these people at Merge. I’ve seen the quiet ones, the reserved ones. I don’t see me clamoring to get to know them. Now, the people like me? No problemo. Got it covered, God. Perhaps I’ll write on that topic more at a later date but for now…..

Focusing on the reserved, shy people…the ones who just can’t seem to make themselves get involved, the ones who feel like they are in this new Christian thing by themselves…what about them? Dan talked about community the other weekend and I thought, “well, this is all great for the people who aren’t scared to fail a little bit or go into unchartered territory…but what about the people who freak at the thought? Or the ones who have been burned by Christiany groups in the past? What about the people who are new and don’t have a group of people surrounding them to help lead them?

After we put our shovels down at the ground breaking, I saw a friend of mine and Joey’s. We’ve both known him since high school and have seen him at Riverview for almost 2 years. We asked how things were going and quickly saw that this guy needed some guidance. He just wasn’t getting enough from the weekly services but didn’t feel comfortable plugging into a group. We went out to lunch and had really interesting conversations. While saying our good-byes, Joey told our friend to read 2nd Corinthians. Our friend paused and then said, “Yeah, I’ll read it but then who is going to explain it to me?”

Well, how about that.

The next day, a friend of mine who is a new Christian called and asked me, “hey, if there is a 2 in front of the book of Samuel, that means it is the second book of Samuel…right?” Yup.

People who are new have questions I can answer. People who have been at this Christian thing for awhile have answers to questions I still have. But think about the newbies and yourself. If every one of us took one newbie under our wings, we might help someone from slipping through the cracks.

Joey decided to meet with our mutual friend and found out how hungry this guy was to know more about Christ and the Bible. Again, he’s been going to Riv for almost two years! A point I sometimes miss is how much I learned in my first two years and all of the messages I have heard that others haven’t. Why we shouldn’t be having sex before marriage. Why we shouldn’t be getting drunk (but love a damn good beer). Why we keep our lips sealed when it’s none of our business. Why we need to date other Christians. I have these messages on CD. I used to get them every week and listen over and over. A few weeks ago, I was talking to Steve and I quoted something he said 4 years previous. “I said that?” he responded. Yeah. I was a super sponge back then. Now, I think it’s time to squeeze that sponge…share what I know.

Joey called Dan with the idea: a mentor/mentee program at Riv. Dan couldn’t believe it. He had just been talking to someone else about the same thing. He put Joey on speaker and the three of them started discussing. When you are a new teacher, a more experienced teacher guides you through the processes, the culture, explains things to you. Same at Val. We are all assigned a mentor who shows us the ropes around the company. All of this is done to help people get comfortable, to help them adapt, not get lost in the masses…

Mentor:
1. a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
2. an influential senior sponsor or supporter.
(Dictionary.com)

We could all do this…all of us. Once a week meeting or talking to someone on the phone. The problem, of course, is that we will not have enough mentors to help the newbies. The mentors do not need to be at a pastor level. They do not need to help solve life problems of the newbie (that would be the Stephen’s Ministry area). People at Riv need other people at Riv. I told Joey that if this program moves forward, I will be a mentor. I’m ready for it. But if this moves forward, Riv will need a lot more of us to step up, move through some fear and help others.

Loneliness and Obedience

I’m reading a book by a Chrisitan journalist from the 70s and 80s, Ann Kimel, called "I'm Running To Win." She decided to run the Boston marathon and was invited to run a marathon in Jeruselum as well. She wasn’t even a runner. She did all of this to achieve a goal but more importantly, to reach out and share Jesus with more people. Her goal was the gospel. She also struggled with something a lot of single Christians struggle with: loneliness and obedience.

“April 22: I am lonely. Several times I’ve started to pick up the phone and call any one of several men I know who would come over as soon as possible. Sophisticated, stimulating men, who feel deeply about me. But I keep putting the receiver down, knowing these men do not stand for what I stand for…or believe in what I believe. These men want more from me than I can give. To be obedient and true, I must stand alone for now. To be true to my dream, I must be pure.

“Jesus, tonight I don’t know what to do with me. It’s a warm spring evening. Here I am…thrilled to be home, feeling sad and confused about loneliness….Jesus, thank You for the tests. For the tough places, for what You are wanting to teach me about spring…and warm evenings…and standing alone…still and quiet…watching Your love develop in my life. Thank You that when I am lonely, I am more sensitive to the hurts and needs around me.”



“August 23: A clear, cool, summer night. I would have loved to share it with a man. Two different men called me tonight…terrific men…handsome…wealthy. I feel close to them. It would have been hard to stay true. Through the power and strength of Jesus, I obeyed.

“My obeying God hurts those who don’t believe Him more than it hurts me. They don’t get their way. Their plans are thwarted. But I am safe and steadfast and sure in the arms and will of God. Obedience is the greatest source of peace and security to the believer. As I obey God with regard to the men who want what I cannot give, I feel a growing sense of wholeness at the center of me. The wholeness comes from saying “no” to wrong and “yes” to God.

“There is pain in obedience…but it is never so great as the pain of disobedience. There is no desire so great as the desire to obey God in my life.”

Faithfully

So, about two months ago, I screwed up pretty badly. The high horse I was riding on decided to buck me off. Well, I wouldn't really say I was on a high horse...I just had a problem with Christians ignoring their sin patterns. I do stupid stuff that does not glorify God. I did something pretty stupid. I guess that's what makes us all human. But as I went to bed that night, I actually asked God to punish me. I wanted to be grounded or something. I wanted to feel the discipline so that I could repent.

The next morning, I woke up humming a little tune. I felt happy and the tune became louder. I suddenly realized I was singing "Faithfully" by Journey. Huh? Had I heard that song the night before? No...weird....

As I lay there half awake, I heard Noel's voice say inside my head, "Even when you're not faithful, He is."

I sat up in my bed with tears in my eyes.

Yes, there are consequences to my actions, good and bad but there was no punishment. By asking for it, I was negating what Christ already did for me. I wasn't faithful but Christ was. He would heal me if I let Him and I was going to let Him. I confessed the sin to a close friend, repented and hopped right back on the road. I cycled a little bit and started to fall a little bit more but God's righteous hand either slapped me up for being so stupid....or it caught me.

Fun digging up the church yard

Chuck and April

If you read this blog from the beginning, you'll see the mention of Chuck Wynn more and more. I knew of him around Riverview but didn't really get to know him until I took the first Route 66 class in the fall of 2004. Then, we became buddies and he was there to answer a lot of my questions. In fact, if you go back to the comments made in 2004/2005, you'll see who my network was when I was a baby Christian: Noel, Dan, Steve, Joey and Chuck. Those were the ones leading me, helping me to understand.

Chuck has taught me so much. Because the Lord has used Him, I was able to grow in my understanding and have a solid knowledge of the Bible. He taught me about the Samaritan woman and the cup I was holding out for others to fill. He helped me during my crappy time when I could barely function and needed to confess stuff. I remember that day so well. Lunch with the VP of our company, personal stuff on my mind controlling my physical self....calling Chuck afterwards and saying, "i've had enough. I need to tell you what's been going on" and then sobbing.

He helped me be accountable. He helped me grow. He rocked out to the Mega 80s with Joey and I. He's been an awesome friend and mentor.

And he married one awesome person who has been there for me, too.

Man, I'm needy.

Thank you, Chuck and April and thank you for inviting me to a beautiful wedding.

More pictures....

Joey and Katie Moss. I love this girl.

The Unsinkables being shown the new iphone by none other...

Harry Potter

A few weeks ago, the night Deathly Hallows was released, Joey and I took my nephew to Kroger (of all places) to purchase said book. We got there around 11:30 p.m. The young lad started to get bored in line...and antsy. Joey suddenly turned to the laundry detergent display next to us and said, "Okay, Brad. Let's see how long you can hold these bottles of all with your arms out."

Brad shrugged and said, "okay."

Suddenly, the guy in front of us said, "I'm in."

So, this is a picture of some stranger and my nephew in a contest of strength and determination at Kroger on a Friday night.

True Harry Potter fans.

I love this picture.

How did this happen?

I'm not a Christian.

I'm not a runner.

I'm not engaged.

I'm not an adult.


So...how did I get to be an engaged, Christian adult who is addicted to running 5Ks?

I'm not sure how any of this happened. Looking back, I know I didn't have a defining moment when God chose me. He kept mentioning it all summer of 2003. I think I finally put my own rifle down in August of that year but I didn't take up His cross until 2004.

And now it's 2007. I have to admit, I'm not a baby Christian anymore. So...how the heck did all of it happen?!

When I first became a Christian, I did not have people running to my side to help me learn the Bible. I had one person, Joey. He took me to Borders in September of 2003 and we picked a Bible out together. Joey was the one I bounced my questions to...and then Noel....and then Reta Corr...I barely knew my pastors. I didn't know anyone at Riv.

BUT HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

2004 was so much more defining. Dan and Suzanne came into my life. Sommerlot and I got to know each other. Kate Mazur and I met and she became my mentor. Chuck Wynn was also a defining person who taught me about the Bible. It was the teachings at Riverview. It was the encouragement of these people. All of this somehow brought me from out of the darkness.

And it blows my mind.

I could have slipped through the cracks. I could have listened to even my best friends who thought I had gone crazy. I could have taken on too much as a new believer. But God introduced me to the people He needed me to know....and the ones who helped me grow....

2005 was really when the permanent peeps were sent to me. Jennwy, Peter, Yi...my closest friends. Defining moments in a movie theater lobby and on a small journey to Germany. A harsh reality where I turned away from Christ and followed myself. People rallied around me.

2006 was like a rebuilding year and Joyce taught me even more. God sent me on another mission trip as a runner, which I'm not, and here I am in 2007.

This was not a phase. This was a lifestyle change. This was me realizing that it wasn't about me at all. And now, I cannot say I am a baby Christian. I can't say that when I read Randi-Kay's blog or listen to someone who doesn't know how to pray. These four years have tested my faith, refined it and strengthened it. I do know how to pray. I do know a lot of the answers to people's questions. I do not get as timid as I used to (though I still do!). I somehow grew up even though I'm still growing...but I'm not falling down as much.

Trials will still come my way. Friends will leave and new friends are waiting to be met. Lessons are waiting to reveal themselves. And I am not afraid because I am not alone.


Lord of all that's right
With all your might
Please hold me
Father, take me
Into your arms
Save.....
me from harm
Be thou my guide
KEEP.MY.STEPS. RIGHT.

From my friend, Eric Fields

Matthew 4:8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me." 10 Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.'" 11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

The Lord has been dealing with me for the last few months, and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that at times I questioned Him; my faith, my life , decisions, (ect..), in the midst of it all. The strange thing is that now I feel as though I’m hearing Him more clearly than I ever have before. I’m fortunate in that I’ve had good Christian teaching, and knew enough to allow God to do what he wanted to do in me.

There was a point where I thought I saw a way out and really struggled as to whether to take it. Ultimately I decided that I would have to let things run their course, or else I’d only have to go through another trial down the road (that’s how it works with God!). The long and short of this thought is this: Jesus was tempted of Satan with the very things that God had promised him. We’ve been taught that time and time again. What we often miss in this verse is that the temptation wasn’t have the things (He was going to have them anyway). The temptation was that He could have them now! The temptation was that he wouldn’t have to suffer death, at the cross to get them. Satan came when Jesus was weak tired and hungry, and offered Him a quick way out (sort of like casinos, or the lottery huh?J) Sure, he would have gotten the things; but He would have never seen the glory of God, and neither will you if you bite from the apple of the immediate.

Serving God isn’t easy; but Jesus proved that it’s well worth the price!

Thought for the day....

Acts 22:15 You will be his witness to all men of what you have seen and heard. (NIV)


We can choose the kind of person we want to be for God. We can choose whether we want to be a pipeline or a kitchen sink. When we are a pipeline we worship and experience the real power of God flowing through us. When we are a pipeline, we dedicate our life to carrying the love of God out to everyone in the world. When we are a kitchen sink, we don't deliver much. As a sink, we are receivers rather than deliverers. There are times in our life when we are overwhelmed. In times of being overwhelmed we are seldom equipped to deliver anything. In times when we are overwhelmed, we are then a sink because we need to collect the living water of God. However, even when we are overwhelmed, we must remember our true mission in life is to carry the love of God out to others. Even when we are overwhelmed by our trials and afflictions, God gives us the spiritual power to shine His light and love out to the world.

Compassion

Several years ago, my friend Dave G. and I decided to sponsor kids from other countries. I got Melvin through World Vision. Dave received Jonathon through Compassion International.

Now, the story gets really sad but it has purpose.

Two weeks ago, Dave was contacted by Compassion and told that Jonathon was electrocuted in a freak storm. Here is part of the article which is loosely translated (if you skip through this article, please be sure to read the end):

Reynaldo Perez Aguilar, coordinator of the Council of the Citizen Power of the district Roberto Alvarado, in Mateare, said yesterday that they will denounce to Fenosa Union before the Police of Sandino City, by the tragedy happened to a woman and to two children in that municipality.

“What he lets to us glimpse he is that there was negligence of Fenosa Union because we have a key witness, who is a neighbor, and to the son of the passed away lady which they watched that at the hour that was divided the cable by the ray that fell to him, this one was left without energy, then the cable was in the ground and they (the victims), do not move of the place because they did not think that Fenosa Union was going to return to put the energy”, indicated Perez Aguilar.

HE WAS UNEXPECTED
Nevertheless, Jorge Katín, manager of Communication of Fenosa Union, said in the first place that he laments the situation because three people passed away.

He indicated that it was a fortuitous fact. “We are before an accident where the victims received a unloading of more than 13 thousand volts and passed away right away. The tragedy could not be anticipated”, emphasized Katín.

It added that already they have the report of the Firemen and the Police where they indicate clearly that one was an accident.

It showed that before a possible denunciation of the relatives of the deceaseds, they already have documents where they will demonstrate that she was an accident after a ray divided the cable, which fell in the house and where there was water.

Katín indicated that the cables of high tension belong to Fenosa Union.

THEY TOOK
Reynaldo Perez Aguilar contradicts to Katín and assured that since the cable fell to the ground, in the house the light went and this one returned to the three minutes and is when energizó everything.

It indicated that the district supports to the family of the victims in the denunciation.
“In that one is (in the denunciation) and not only the relatives and the district, also Mr. Alcalde de Mateare (Mario Acuña), goes to support to us in that direction (in the denunciation) against Fenosa Union”, emphasized Perez Aguilar.

“I believe that tomorrow (today) we are going to put to us in agreement with the relatives and would denounce the case, in Sandino City”, he emphasized Perez.

SON WAS SAVED
Donaldo Montiel, of 17 years, son of Maria Edith Rivas Martinez, of 48 years, one of the victims, was the unique one who were saved.

“The light went away and returned and there it was where my mother, my brother and my nephew (Jonathon) were left patches. They requested aid, I I touched to my mother but by the energizado field she threw to me against the wall of the house that was also with energy”, detailed the adolescent.

“When it was receiving the electrical charge was singing and praying and my nephew (Jonathan Vallecillo) it requested aid to me that helped because it did not resist the load and my brother (Alexander him Montiel Rivas) to only was seeing me. No longer it spoke”, indicated Donaldo Montiel.

Montiel continues narrating the tragedy that happened to him to its mother, brother and nephew.

She indicated that today the family will meet to analyze the denunciation. “My family, my uncles and I am going to demand to Fenosa Union”.

Please pray for Jonathon's family as they sort through this tragedy and for Dave because it is difficult to lose someone you never even met, sometimes. Jonathon's pictures he drew Dave and his smiling picture adorn Dave's cube at work. It is tough. But there is something which makes this way less difficult.

“He died praying. I watched when my nephew fell to the ground and he left blood to him by the mouth, also to my brother. My mother said `to me watches son, we are going away to see in the light' and finishing saying those words right away closed the eyes, left a tear to him and died”, related the adolescent Donaldo Montiel.

Little Jonathon died praying to God. It could have been a faith developed a long time ago. It could have been the outreach through Compassion. That certainly helped as Jonathon was taught about Jesus through Compassion. One difference which makes this tragedy peaceful.

This whole thing made me remember why I started sponsoring in the first place. God put it on my heart. I didn't have a lot of money when I started sponsoring Melvin. Dave was scraping by sometimes but still managed to sponsor Jonathon. Doesn't it make all the different in eternity?

I'm THAT girl

I started getting a shin splint...oh...about a month ago. I did what I thought best which was ignorning it. For some reason, it got worse. Now, it's severe.

This poses a problem because I have to run a 1/2 marathon in October. I need to start training this week.

I also have had to rethink my shoe apparel. While Randi-Kay contemplates the new Nine West shoes, I've had a different revelation: I must wear shoes which are supportive, not nec. cute.

I'm that girl.

Yuck!

So, here's to my first pair of supportive sandals which will help me run which is my goal.

I mourn the loss on super cute shoes but I'm not getting rid of them completely. Not until I have to.

Thanks for not laughing too hard, Randi-Kay.

It's been a long while...

It's not that I don't want to blog anymore. Really it isn't. I just don't have much access and when I do, that access is used for RivRunners, Myspace and Facebook. It's been an interesting summer. Crazy, silly, sad, fun. Of course, God is still growing me up and Jesus still loves me.

RivRunners has been amazing. This is a group of runners the Lord has pulled together to glorify Him and I think we've been doing a pretty good job (pats self on back). I do give to this group a lot. My free time, my imagination, my love for Jesus...it really does get put into RivRunners. I get way more in return, though which wasn't my intention. This past weekend, I decided to do an informal 5K. I imagined a stopwatch, some cones marking the route and bagels at the finish line. What I got was a calibrated wheel which marked the course officially, chalk arrows showing the runners where to go, a police pacer (Todd on a 10 speed), a water station, a starter pistol, an offical clock from Mid Michigan Track & Field and more support than I ever thought was possible. The group has blessed me. The bonds I have formed and the relationships that have strengthened...amazing. It's crazy when you really put your time and efforts into something and then you start to see the fruits....your reward becomes triple and all you ever really wanted to do was find some people to run with. Thank you, Lord.

Our friends have been great through the ordeal with my brother-in-law, too. Thank you for your prayers and support. It's meant a lot. He's at home now but his health a little shakey.

I miss Harry Pooter (Simpsons movie).

Okay, I must go now. We are late for another place to be!

Love you all....

Holly

Grandma King

Joey's Grandma King passed away at 2:20 a.m. this morning. We kissed the top of her head and said goodbye at 1:30 a.m. When we left, we knew it was the last time but her heart beat was so strong we thought...maybe?

Joey would be much better writing about Janet. What I know about her is so general. She is from a town in Ohio called Mogadore. Her relatives had a rich history there. She met and married Joe Morgan who died of Lupus when their son was six and their daughter, Reta, was just four. A short time later, she married one of the most eligible bachelors in the area, Robert King. They had two more children, Laura and Robin. Somehow, she came to live in the Lansing area and was a member of First Christian Church.

She was in pain most of the time I knew her due to rheumatoid arthritis. It destroyed her feet and her hands. She was a tiny woman with a fiery attitude but she could also be sweet and reflective.

Grandma King fought to accept the grace given to us by God. She just couldn't see how He could really forgive us. I watched last night in her last hours as her grandson, named after her first husband, whispered in her ear, "let go, Grandma. It's okay. We love you but you can go now." When we opened her Bible, there was a note which said, "read John 5:36." So we read it to her.

36"I have testimony weightier than that of John. For the very work that the Father has given me to finish, and which I am doing, testifies that the Father has sent me. 37And the Father who sent me has himself testified concerning me. You have never heard his voice nor seen his form, 38nor does his word dwell in you, for you do not believe the one he sent. 39You diligently study[c] the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, 40yet you refuse to come to me to have life.

41"I do not accept praise from men, 42but I know you. I know that you do not have the love of God in your hearts. 43I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. 44How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God[d]?

We took a break from our visit to have a wonderful dinner with my aunt Ginny and uncle Lynn. It was such a great time. Lots of laughter, lots of planning. We visited the Coles and the Yi afterward and really felt the exhaustion as we drove back to Holt. We wanted to wait until tomorrow to see her again but my heart was leading us back to Janet...and all Joey needed was the reassurance to go.

So we went back and spent the last few hours with her. We probably had too good of a time, laughing with Joey's cousins Travis and Jessica along with Aunt Diana. But there were serious moments, too, like when Jessica discovered Grandma's feet had turned blue within an hour. This young, college co-ed rubbed lotion on her dying grandmother's feet to bring them back. She then rubbed lotion on her arms and massaged her legs. I will never forget this image of Jessica in bed with Grandma as Joey rubbed Grandma's head and held her hand.

We drove home that night listening to "Nothing But The Blood" by Ish. I must mention how moving it is when you need to hear a hymn like this one and this particular time but you not only need to hear the hymn but two of your friends voices are singing it to you.

I dropped Joey off at his house and was in my bed by 2:05. She died soon after and Joey called me around 3:00. I felt relief that this woman didn't have to struggle for breath anymore. I had knelt next to her bed praying for Jesus to come and take her. She was a fighter. She came through several heart surgeries. She was in and out of the hospital taunting death but it needed to be over now. Thank you, Jesus.

It is sad that she will not be at our wedding. She never got to see any of her grandchildren marry and she never held a great-grandchild. She also never met her unborn grandchild due at Thanksgiving. Of course, there's a million other things she never did but the things that count are the ones did do. Janet was loved and loved and was saved from her sins.

Check it out

http://rivrunner.blogspot.com/

Dependence Day

Two years ago today, I was flying over the Atlantic arriving home from an exhausting journey. I was so happy and relieved to be back in the U.S. The first thing I did when I got off the plane was buy a Vernor's.

So much has changed since then but I'm still glad to be right where I am.

Joey and I went to Columbus to visit a very sick friend this past weekend. The trip was a little intense for us and at one point, I was calling anyone I could think of asking for prayer. I got through to Suz and she prayed for me over the phone. Really, this weekend was about not listening to Satan tell me I'm not good enough to do work for God. It was about having faith, not fear, when God asks you to do something.

We met up for dinner with Bob and Terra. Bob is Krissie's ex-boyfriend turned best friend and Terra is his fiance. We had fun seeing downtown Columbus and then seeing the house Bob and Terra are moving into after their marriage in October.

We stayed at Terra's house. She lives with her parents and her father is the head pastor of the church. Christ is so cool (I say that all the time). These people didn't even know us but put us up for the night. And the rooms were like out of a bed and breakfast. Four poster, canopy beds with plush duvet's and a step stool to get into the bed.

The following morning we attended church with them. I felt like we were on a TV show. Everything was so white and big. The church was huge and it made me wonder if this is what Riv will look like soon. It made me almost wish to keep our church the same.

The pastor who taught said something really cool. Christians have the freedom to obey and freedom comes to those who walk in obedience.

During our trip, Joey and I were listening to Paul Harvey. He said the following: Americans think freedom means Independence but really it is a DEPENDENCE to follow the laws of this nation in order to keep it free. Our founding fathers did not see this as an opportunity to go nuts with freedoms. They were dependent on God and His will. Freedom not to do whatever you want, but freedom to do what you ought.

Transformers

We got in line two and a half hours early. Really, it wasn't necessary but it made Jr. and Joey feel better. Plus, we beat the other nerds there by about 15 minutes. We were decked out in our Transformers t-shirts and ready to roll out. Here is the cast of characters:

Joey
Les
Amy Corr
Me
Bradley
Lyndsay
Reta
Denny
Rebecca
Bobby D
Ben Shoe

Weird but there were a TON of Christians there. Yes, we can pick each other out in a crowd (plus we saw you there in the second row, JR Miller).

Truly, I liked this movie. Some of it was a little too sexual for the younger crowd and some of the humor was...dumb...but it was the humor I like. I never watched Transformers growing up but I could really buy into the whole nostalgia stuff and I knew some of it came from the cartoon. Plus, seeing Joey as excited as I am over a chocolate martini made me happy.

Seriously, go see this movie. Don't make me slap you.

Rainbow

She was a little freaked out when the doctor said, "We're going to need you to come back in for an ultrasound." During the previous appointment, the doctor had said the lump was nothing to be concerned about and an ultrasound probably wasn't necessary. Now it was.

She tried not to panic as she waited for the nurse but breast cancer at 31, or any age, was enough to freak out about. Her baby was going to a year old on Wednesday and father's day was sad. It had been far too long since her dad died and she could really use his reassurance right now. He was always there for her and had promised her rainbows when things went wrong. The day he died, a rainbow stretched across the sky and made her smile.

The technician entered the room and began the ultrasound. The tech found the lump and she held her breath as fear crept into her body.

"Is it still raining outside?" the tech suddenly asked.

She couldn't believe this person was making small talk!

"Uh, yeah, when I came in it was."

"Ya know, I saw the biggest rainbow this morning. It was the biggest I'd ever seen," the tech went on.

Chills went down her spine and peace settled over her. She knew at that moment everything was going to turn out fine.

And it did. The lump turned out to be scar tissue from a previous surgery.

"I just knew my dad was with me, Holly, and God, too," she told me just moments ago.

"Rainbows are a promise from God," I responded.

God is so cool.

Crusin with the Crew

Wednesdays (most of them) from 7-9 pm I can be heard live on the Crusin with the Crew show on 1460 AM or on your internet www.wpon.com. It's been pretty fun interviewing Paul Le Mat and Davy Jones from the Monkees. I'm not that great of a special guest/host but I've been having a blast. My parents listen online and call in requests. You can, too because I think we have 4 or 5 other listeners.

Weird Week

This week has been incredibly weird.

First, the flight that went down in Lake Michigan. How freaky is that?

Then, the girl who was abducted from the Target parking lot in Kansas. It made women everywhere pay more attention to their surroundings.

And then, a popular disc jockey on WMUZ, a Christian radio station, died suddenly on Monday night at the age of 46. Rhonda Hart did the morning show on this station. She went to lunch with her colleagues, went home and died in her sleep.

I also heard about some lost pregnancies.

Man, my prayers are with you all and I'm really praying for a less creepy week.

Turn and face the strange....

Remember how I wrote about not really wanting to change so I felt like God was going to change my surroundings to shake me up a bit? I still hold to that.

Someone recently told me they think I don't like death because I don't like change. There are some changes people embrace but I think every kind of change means letting go of something else...and when you let go of that something else, most times there is a little bit of sadness there.

I do not think I have a problem with death. It just happens in my life a lot. I have a friend who has never been to a funeral where he knew the person personally. I attended my first funeral at the age of 12. So you see, I do think death is sad even if the person was a Christian but I find it devastating if the person wasn't. I think my outlook is a pretty healthy one.

But this post isn't about death...so to speak.

I moved into a new apartment last week. Well, technically, it's new but I actually lived in the apartment across the parking lot in 2003. The whole thing is freaking me out. As much as I loved 2003, I don't want to go back there and I feel like I went back in time. My apartment faces a different direction but it is the same, exact set up. The other day, I thought about who I was the last time I moved in which would have been October 2002.

Who moved me the first time? Dean, Errol, my mom and Francois.
Who moved me in this time? Joey, Travis and Yi

I was dating BT last time.
I am engaged to JAC now.

My closest friends were Ry, Bek, Ang, Patrick, Russ, Andy, Jake, M & B and BT
Now: JAC, Yi, Jennwy, Peter, Krissie and some other people who I am growing closer to all the time. Please don't misunderstand. I still love the people I was close to then and I'm still somewhat close to them now but not like we were. Our lives have changed. Crazy thing is that I didn't even know the people I would consider my closest peeps today. Didn't even know they existed. That thought hit me so hard when I was walking through my living room on Wednesday. There was no Yi. There were no Awesomes. No Lilly's. No Megs. None of them except for Joey but he was a memory at the time. All of that changed me. And why was that?

Then: I followed me.
Now: I follow Christ.

I became a Christian while I lived in these apartments in 2002-2003. In the past week, I have found myself in various spots and remembered certain things. This is where Joey signed my Bible. This is where my mom and I had a discussion. Joey told me he loved me right here. I shared the gospel for the first time in this room.

It's crazy. So many things have been reminding me how far I have come as a Christian. A friend of mine told me not to measure my "progress" but hey, I have come a long way! I have another posting about that later, though.

Let me know if you want to come visit me. I get really lonely (especially without cable TV).

The Unsinkables

They walked down the aisle to some movie soundtrack.

They walked back down the aisle to another movie soundtrack.

They had us sing two hymns during the wedding and I loved both.

The wedding party came out to the reception to the A-Team theme song.

The groom dedicated a Wilco song to his wife.

They cut the cake with a sword.

They had buffet "stations": Italian, Chinese, American and a mashed potato bar.

You've got to be kidding me.

Meg's wedding was simply fantastic and awesome. I am so honored she asked me to be a witness to her vows. I pray the Unsinkables will be unsinkable. I'll miss our Meg because we are losing her to Cincinnati...but we are gaining a David. Thank you, Meg for a lovely wedding.

The other parts of the weekend were interesting, too.

We left a little late for Ohio. An unplanned stop to Woody's Oasis and Wendy's held us up. The trip down there was full of interesting discussions between Joey, Yi, Peter and I. Jenny, Dana and Amanda were in the car in front of us. We each paid $35 total for a two night stay at a really nice hotel. We went to breakfast at a restaurant called Riverview. Yeah, that's right.

Riverview restaurant.

After we ate, we decided to sight see. Except, I forgot to pack a strapless bra...so, we spent the afternoon at the mall. Yeah, totally American. But we had fun and look at the yummy treat which greeted us:
The wedding and reception were in an old, beautiful church.

I love this picture.

Such a fantastic time.

On the way home, we got to see the scary Jesus in the daylight, drove through lake waters trying to get back home, and stopped at Peter's favorite restaurant: Schlotzsky's. Here is a picture of pure happiness:

Honeycombs

Two weeks ago, I was minding my own business, driving home from work when the DJ on the radio suddenly mentioned Honeycomb cereal. I suddenly had a craving I couldn't get rid of. I drove straight to the store and purchased a large box. That was on a Monday. By Friday, they were gone. All me.

I knew I couldn't get through the weekend without them so Joey and I went to Kroger last Friday and I purchased another big box. I took my first bite and....yuck. They were gross...stale. Sunday, we returned them to the store and I tool a chance on another box. We had a winner.

The side-story to this is that my step-dad does the grocery shopping. He always buys whatever my mom and I desire. So, I mentioned my new Honeycomb addiction. Dean went to the store Wednesday and bought some. This morning, he decided he would have a bowl. My mom approached him as he exclaimed, "well...would you look at this! They sold me a box of cereal that's already been opened...AND it look at the sticker on it!" My mom read the sticker: Customer Return...Not for Resale...Scan out as Known Loss." They both stood there for a moment when my mom suddenly started laughing. "Where did you buy these from, Dean?" "Kroger."

Yes, this is the box of Honeycombs that wouldn't go away. It is the exact same box I returned to Kroger on Sunday and here they are, back at home. But they will be going back to Kroger again and I'm going to watch the employee throw them out. It's crazy. I mean, I realize Holt is a small town but is it really that small?

Another one passes on

Dan says I write about death a lot. Not that I do it in an unhealthy way, according to him. I wonder why I do. I know it's because it keeps happening in my life. It started when I was 12 and will continue until I pass on.

I almost didn't write this entry because I don't want people to think I'm obsessed with death or things related to death. Then I realized Dan wasn't putting me down. It's just a part of me, a part of all of us. That's the deal, right? You get to be born and you get to die. Well, except for me. I won't die.

My step-father's mother passed away Monday around 2:30ish. My sister and I were having a conversation about her and how morbid everyone was being about the situation. We thought people were giving up on her and she needed something more. As we were talking, the Lord took his daughter home. I found out about 10 minutes later. Incredible sadness came over me but I was also stunned.

Grandma (Mary) Cook was such a spitfire. She was sharp and witty; a short woman devoted to her Catholic faith. She modeled as a young lady and went on to marry, have three children and then divorce. She lived near St. Lawrence hospital with Miss Kitty and loved her garden. She was a part of the red hat society which kept her busy. She did my mom's taxes. She e-mailed.

Grandma Cook did something remarkable for me two years ago. She found out about the mission trip to Koln and paid the last $200 we needed to go. Of course, now I'm kicking myself because I never got around to showing her the pictures or telling her any of the stories. I also could have visited more...regrets do hurt.

Joey and I went to visit her about a month ago. She was staying in the St. John's nursing home. This is a place people get parked to pretty much die. We found her curled up, half asleep on her bed. Waking up, she was pleased to see us there. We visited awhile and talked about heaven. She said that after she was done with purgatory, then the blessed mother would great her and take her to Jesus. Joey and I just smiled. She didn't seem to scared to die but she made it known she wasn't ready to give up. I'm just not sure what happened...

Today was sad. I'm truly feeling the extinction of a generation. I know this is how Mary felt watching her grandparents and parents die. And I know the death is not permanent but it still feels a little more lonely in this world. As I gain years, the time is running out. Gain and loss. It will be so painful to watch the old ones die as the new ones are born. One generation fades as another burns brightly. Sometimes, it doesn't make any sense to me. At the most, I have faith in a God that conquered death and I just don't see how anyone could get through it without Jesus...um...cuz you can't.

"If you can't obey God, how can you resist the devil?" JM

Joey and I weren't going to make a big deal about it but we decided to quit drinking for a little while. It just seemed like so many of our Christian friends were taking advantage of their freedom to drink. We wanted to swing back the other way by showing its okay not to drink as a Christian, too. It was kind of funny but the only place this became difficult was at a "Christian" party. So anyway, that's our story and why we've declined your drink offers. Though, we appreciate the understanding that comes along with it, too.

I can't wait for a chocolate martini.

So, this is the guy I'm going to marry...

Joey and I went to see Spider man 3 last Sunday. The lights dimmed and from the corner of my eye, I saw Joey point his wrist toward the movie screen. Was he...pretending to be Spidey? I turned my head for a better look. Sure enough, his fingers were pointed and his wrist was up Spidey style. He didn't see me see him...at first. But I couldn't control my laughter. How flippin cute is that? Crazy cute is what it is....

Yesterday, Joey's sister, Joey and I were at the parent's house. Joey wanted to go saleing--garage saleing. So, the three of us set out. Over the course of several houses, Joey managed to get a free coffee maker and free HD antena thingy. Bekkie, Joey's sister, said, "who is this guy?! People just give him stuff." Yeah, it's like that a lot of times when you roll with JC. People just love him and they aren't sure why.

I'm going to be on the radio tonight from 7pm to 9pm. No one in Lansing can listen but I guess you can listen online at www.wpon.com. I'll be talking about the movie American Graffiti and interviewing Paul Le Mat who played John Milner in the movie. I'm finally using my college degree :o0

That storm last night was pretty crazy. I was reading next to my window and the light was fading. A hot breeze was floating into the room and it suddenly took a sharp, cold turn. As if God had blown a candle out, so went the lights in my condo. The wind picked up fiercely and then the rains came. Not a whole lot of lightening and thunder, though. I love Spring :o)

Edges are scary places

As a runner, I know I have to be careful when the ground I'm running on changes. I don't especially like the shoulder but it is a little softer and easier on the body. Transitioning from the concrete to the shoulder can be tricky because you can easily fall off the edge. Do that and you might have a twisted ankle, knee or something else horrible.

Thoughts churn through my mind while running and the other day, the following popped in there:

• I need to be careful when I move over for cars. I could fall off the pavement and get really hurt. It might take a long time to recover.

• Whoa. Life is like that, isn't it?

• The razor sharp line Noel talked about...this is like that, except I can't run on the line. I have to pick one or the other: the road or the shoulder. But that's the line. If I run too far into the road, I could be roadkill. If I run too far off the shoulder, the roadkill could eat me.

I thought about some friends of mine who seem to be falling off their road. They are going too far into the land of temptation. Dare I say this but...I remember when I was caught in my sin cycle a couple of years ago. I would do the sin thinking, "I'll just repent right afterwards." Do Christians abuse their forgiveness? Do we sometimes take advantage of what Christ did for us? "I'll do this sin now because I'm already covered."

I'm pretty charged up about Christians acting like a bunch of asses right now (that statement might just make me a hypocrite). I prayed the other day for us as a whole. Yes, we need to be in the world but people need to see something different in us! Why do we continue to gossip? Why are we getting drunk? Doing drugs? Curse like it is part of our everyday language? Have sex? Stay up late acting like a fool? Cutting people off in traffic? Demanding our own way? How is any of this different than a pre-Christian??

They need to see a difference in us to ask us about it. We can screw up, I get that but why aren't some of us changing? The other day, I asked Joey if people hear the same messages I do at Riverview. A week later, he asked me the same question. It isn't that he and I are perfect but the Holy Spirit is so alive with us...it puts the brakes on or points out our sin soon afterward.

When you become a Christian, you shed your reputation and become a new creation...to God. But to everyone else, you are still the same person. Now, however, you are carrying Christ's reputation with you. After some time, people see that light and ask you about it. But you can't carry the reputation of Christ inside of you, go out and get drunk without feeling like something is wrong. The other day, I caught myself gossiping. I caught myself? No, the Holy Spirit pointed it out to me. I had to repent. The next time I want to gossip, I'll feel that stopping signal. I can ignore it or listen.

Are you feeling me out there? Am I being too harsh? Please understand I'm not ragging on people who have a problem. They know they do...I hope. But the ones who are falling off the road, or falling off the edge, they are walking too close to it and flirting with too much danger. I know because I've fallen, as we all have. I challenge all of us to truly listen to the Spirit instead of silencing it.

Myers Family

This picture makes me want to have a good cry. I look at this family and almost forget what my friend Jason was like as a single guy. All of those wrong turns led to the right turn with Greta. And now, when I see how God has blessed them, it makes me want to cry...in a good way. They all look so meant to be, as they are.

So....uh...Greta, can you do a wedding on May 25, 2008? I LOVE your photography...and all of you. Can't wait to meet the babies.

I hung up the phone and continued to dry my hair. "Damn," I thought as the news sank in more. As I rushed around the condo, my memory traveled to and event that happened years and years ago, but it changed my life completely.

The name of the street I grew up on was Five Point Hwy. The reason I lived there was because my mom and I were shacking up with her boyfriend, Lee. Lee had grown up in the house we lived in. His three best friends all lived within 5 miles of each other. There was Alan Shumaker and Allen Tirrell, the farmers and then Kevin Fullerton, the fire chief. They all played softball together and I remember spending a lot of time at their homes as a youngster. Allen and Alan were so close they ended up marrying Cindy and Sharon, sisters. Not their sisters...watch it.... They also divorced these sisters and remarried.

1988 was a rough year. My friend Kim had died in March (just for your reference, I knew Kim because Cindy married her Kim's father). I had also started going to Charlotte Jr. High, which I hated. The weather was bleak in November and I remember watching the snow fall from Cindy's living room window in Jackson. The phone rang and Karen, Kim's sister, answered. She came into the living room in shock.

"Allen Tirrell died."

I couldn't comprehend her words. "Allen Tirrell...as in Uncle Allen?" We had always called him that.

It was true. The second horrible part was that he died on Five Point Hwy...a mile from my house. Cindy told us to pack our stuff because she was taking us home early. The events of the day unfolded as we drove back to Charlotte.

We don't know why Allen was driving east on Five Point. It was early, early morning when he crashed. We also never found out why...but we knew where: the little country bridge, just before Brookfield Road. His truck hit the cement pillar of the little bridge. He flew forward into the windshield and his life was over.

Kevin, the other best friend of the group, arrived on the scene afterward. He was the first one. The way I remember it was that Kevin didn't realize it was Allen's truck. He didn't recognize his best friend slumped over the steering wheel. Being a firefighter, he called the authorities but the jaws of life had to be used to pull Allen out. When Kevin realized who the victim was...well, I was never told that part of the story.

The funeral was sad. Allen's wife, 2 year-old son and 1-year-old daughter were there. His whole family and all of his friends were there, too. Yeah, two devastating funerals in one year for all of them. Allen had helped carry Kim's casket.

The accident was crazy close to where I lived. If you can view this map, you'll see Brookfield Road and then to the left, the third house down on the right, was mine. We rode our bikes down there in the spring, finding pieces of broken glass, plastic, remnants from a horrible day. But it also changed my life directly. After the accident, Lee spent most of his free time in the bar, not coming home to us. My mom was finally tired of it all and that following summer, we left. It probably would have happened anyway, but his death was the catalyst.

I thought about all of this as I drove into work today. When I got to work, I didn't search the name Allen Tirrell. I searched the name Duane Tirrell and found this article on LSJ.com:

Charlotte man was devoted to land--Duane Tirrell died doing what he loved: farming

So, now Allen's brother is gone now, too. My prayers go to a family who has lost so much.

If You Won't Change, I'll Change Everything Else

Months ago, the Lord told me to do something I didn’t want to do. Over and over the message came at me but I couldn’t do it and I still don’t want to. I do have free will, right? The problem is in my faith. Do I think God is going to leave me out in the cold? Do I not trust Him with my best interests?

A few years ago, God wanted me to make a change in my life. I fought it. So, God did something else. He changed everything on the outside. He moved me to a new area in the company. He moved all of my close friends away from me. He moved me physically to a new housing situation. I wouldn’t move…so He moved me. Finally, I said okay. It would have turned out better had I followed Him after saying okay to Him but I followed myself.

Last week, I realized God is doing this again. He is moving me physically because I won’t move spiritually. I’m going to be on a new team with a new supervisor in two weeks. I need to move into a new apartment in a few weeks, too. God is precise and direct. Will I finally say yes to Him?

Stars shine
Trees Grow and if I stay
Unchanged
I fear the rocks will cry out...