Loneliness and Obedience

I’m reading a book by a Chrisitan journalist from the 70s and 80s, Ann Kimel, called "I'm Running To Win." She decided to run the Boston marathon and was invited to run a marathon in Jeruselum as well. She wasn’t even a runner. She did all of this to achieve a goal but more importantly, to reach out and share Jesus with more people. Her goal was the gospel. She also struggled with something a lot of single Christians struggle with: loneliness and obedience.

“April 22: I am lonely. Several times I’ve started to pick up the phone and call any one of several men I know who would come over as soon as possible. Sophisticated, stimulating men, who feel deeply about me. But I keep putting the receiver down, knowing these men do not stand for what I stand for…or believe in what I believe. These men want more from me than I can give. To be obedient and true, I must stand alone for now. To be true to my dream, I must be pure.

“Jesus, tonight I don’t know what to do with me. It’s a warm spring evening. Here I am…thrilled to be home, feeling sad and confused about loneliness….Jesus, thank You for the tests. For the tough places, for what You are wanting to teach me about spring…and warm evenings…and standing alone…still and quiet…watching Your love develop in my life. Thank You that when I am lonely, I am more sensitive to the hurts and needs around me.”



“August 23: A clear, cool, summer night. I would have loved to share it with a man. Two different men called me tonight…terrific men…handsome…wealthy. I feel close to them. It would have been hard to stay true. Through the power and strength of Jesus, I obeyed.

“My obeying God hurts those who don’t believe Him more than it hurts me. They don’t get their way. Their plans are thwarted. But I am safe and steadfast and sure in the arms and will of God. Obedience is the greatest source of peace and security to the believer. As I obey God with regard to the men who want what I cannot give, I feel a growing sense of wholeness at the center of me. The wholeness comes from saying “no” to wrong and “yes” to God.

“There is pain in obedience…but it is never so great as the pain of disobedience. There is no desire so great as the desire to obey God in my life.”