Defending my Spartanaity

I hear it all the time, especially working in the Detroit area: why would you ever be a Michigan State Spartan? I suppose after countless losing/average seasons, it would be a question in the minds of many so I thought I would attempt to explain…or defend. No, I didn’t pick MSU because the colors are so much better (and look great on me). No, I didn’t pick MSU because our mascot kicks butt (and he’s cute). No, I didn’t pick MSU because of their award winning marching band (I even heard a Wolverine fan say this last Saturday: you guys have the best band in the country). I guess I didn’t really pick MSU. It’s just always been there.

The story could start in an obvious place: I was born and raised in the East Lansing, MI area. It makes sense geographically for me to be a Spartan. It all goes a little deeper than that, however. My grandfather graduated from MSC, Michigan State College, during WWII. He was from a little town south of Jackson called Cement City. He used to hitchhike back and forth. I loved his stories of the campus as it was built up. My father graduated from MSU in the 70s. I have history at MSU. My dad started taking me to football games when I was four. The highlight back then was getting carmel corn and Zeike the Wonderdog.

This is a picture of me at a football game when I was four. Before the wall was put up near the field, you could go right down to the field. I'm wearing green corduory bibs from the Army store.

We have always tailgated in the same general area near the Red Cedar. This is my sister and my dad's best friends. I'm to the far right.

1987 was an awesome year to be a Spartan. Finally, the underdogs were on top. I was in 6th grade and 11-years-old. We went to all of the home games. My dad would pick the tickets up from George Perles' secretary, Mary Ann, at the Duffy Dougherty building on Fridays. I would go to see if I could scope out any players.
My favorite Spartan of all time was Andre Rison. I never got my picture taken with him, though. He was one of the stars of the 1988 Rose Bowl game and I had every picture there was of him hanging on my wall. When I was in 7th grade, Andre was pulled over for drinking and driving in Eaton County, the county I lived in. I’ll never forget…my dad picked up Chad, Darrick and I from Charlotte Jr. High School. We were coming home from camp so we had a lot of stuff. My dad broke the news to me gently and I was pretty quiet. I went home and wrote a letter to Andre explaining my disappointment. A few weeks before Christmas, my step-mom and dad handed me a small box, explaining it was an early gift. Inside was a framed picture like the one above…except Andre had signed it! Even better, there was a note included. See, in my letter to Andre, I told him he could come clean my room for his community service. Andre must have thought that was funny because he wrote, “I would love to clean your room but I must work on my own first!” I cried I was so happy. Andre went on to become the 22nd draft to the Colts and later was traded to the Falcons. I lost track after him then. His life got a little too crazy for me. Now that I think about it, he was just a college kid. Back then, he was a hero in my eyes.

This is the MSU vs. Indiana Game in 1987 when I was 11-years-old and in 6th grade. I remember several things from this game. The first was that it was my first night game. Second, my dad told me how important it was for MSU to win this game. He said, "if we win, Holly, we go to the Rose Bowl!" Before we left for the game, my step-mom gave me a rose. "If we win this game, you can go down and throw this rose onto the field." I was so pumped! When we got to Spartan stadium, the place was so packed, you could barely move. When State won the game, my step-mom told me to go throw the rose onto the field. In those days (see how old I am!!) you could go all the way down to the field. Eventually, they ripped out the lower seats to create a wall. Anyhow, as I approaced the field, I looked to my left and a mob was rushing toward me. As I threw the rose, my step-mom grabbed my arm and pulled me back up to safety. Then, she took this picture. It was truly one of the most exciting moments I've ever seen at Spartan Stadium. You can even see one of the Indiana football players caught in the mob. I remember they ripped the goal posts down, too.

Bob Kula--Offensive Lineman. It wasn't that I had a crush on him, it was just that he was a hero to me. It's funny looking at college football players now. I'm way older than they are. But then, they were celebrities to me. I had sat next to Bob at a basketball game. I had a 1987 football program and I was drawing hearts and stars around the players pictures I liked. Well, I liked Bob Kula. He was a Rose Bowl star. This picture was taken at Media Day 1988 and my dad had just told Bob the story about me sitting next to him drawing hearts and stars around his picture. He thought it was funny. I thought it was embarressing. You can see my dad laughing in the background.

This is a picture from the same Media Day. Fawn, me and Hyland Hickson (I think that is Emily Youatt next to Fawn but I can't be sure). Hyland Hickson was one of our awesome running backs after Lorenzo White was drafted by the Houston Oilers. My dad will never forget when Hyland fumbled the ball against Illinos and State lost. He still gripes about that loss. Sadly, Hyland died from stomach cancer in 1996. The only article I could find on the net mentions they aren't sure how he died either. They also mention the infamous fumble by Hyland, too. Poor guy.

Eddie Brown. A pat on the back to anyone who knows what Eddie Brown is infamous for doing.

George Perles and my nephew, Bradley.

Jim Miller. What a nice guy. I had such a crush on him for years. Funny story about this picture. Jim was sitting in the stands with his parents (Media Day 1990) and his back was facing me. My step-mom went up a few rows in the bleachers to get a picture of his face. She told me to lean forward (behind him) and pretend to kiss his cheek. The picture would make it look like I really was kissing his cheek. I was horrified and just stood there. And then he turned around and asked me what I was doing. I had no answer. This was the picture taken right after that embarressing situation.

I remember this hat. When you pushed on the bill, it played the fight song.

Playing catch on the banks of the Red Cedar when I was in 11th grade. My brother-in-law is behind me and has just thrown the ball.

Pops and I tailgating. I was in college by this point. I don't have a picture of this event but my dad LOVES to tell this story. It was Nick Sabin's first game as the head coach. I had been partying the night before at CMU and didn't make it to my dad's tailgating spot in time to get my ticket for the game. No cell phones back then. I knew I was screwed. I was going to miss the new coach's first game! Ah! The disappointment! I started crying as I approached the gate. I explained my story to the ticket dude who sent security over. I thought they were going to hall me off. Instead, the security dude told me to follow him to my dad's seat. I promised him I would go up to my dad, get my ticket and come give it back to them as proof I really did have a ticket. The guy was so tired of me by the time we got to the stairs leading to my dad's section that he just let me go. When my dad saw me coming up the stairs to his seats, he was amazed. "How did you get in? You didn't have a ticket...and I sold yours!" "I guess I...cried my way in, dad."

My step-mom and I in 2003.

There you have it. A story told with photos (and words, of course). I could have posted so much more and maybe I will someday. Hopefully, this gives some insight into the "whys." "Why would you support a team that disappoints year after year?" "Why not be a Wolverine?" Well, because. After all, these are college kids. They are still growing and making plenty of mistakes...just like I did. Just like I do. Plus, I've always had a thing for the underdog. Want to talk about me being a Cubbie's fan next?

Black Friday fast approaching

It's already here...ah!!!!

http://www.blackfriday.info/

And for your amusement, the story from last year's black friday...

Yet Another Weekend

This past weekend was fun and interesting and frustrating. Friday, we went out for Yi’s birthday to Applebee’s. It was a Germany reunion where we sat there from 7:30 to 10 talking and laughing. I love nights like that.

Saturday, Joey and I went to our Leading Kids To Christ class. Mike and Missie Potter taught it. They brought their foster baby into the room and Joey immediately latched on to the kid. It was cute. After the class, we met up with my dad at Dagwoods. He bought me a beer and then yelled at me for it:

Dad: Holly, do I have to do everything for you?
Holly: What do you mean?
D: You left your beer over here. Now, take it and don’t leave it around.
H: Geez. Sorry.

My dad talked Joey and I into going to the State-Purdue game. We missed the band, though which really bummed me out. I got shin splints running to catch up with the band. Still missed them. We tailgated with some of my dad’s buddies just outside the stadium and then tried to get in. Oops. I forgot about my purse being too big. They wouldn’t let us in. I wasn’t broken hearted or anything but Joey put the purse inside his coat and we tried another entrance. Bingo.

We stayed until half time and then went to the Hobby Lobby. Whoa. That store is cool! We kept walking around saying, “oh, look! This is so cool!” Joey said the following at one point:

J: Know what’s cool?
H: What?!
J: Me.

We went to the mall afterward and ran into my niece, sister and bro-in-law. We left the mall and headed to my mom’s house where we ate dinner. We were going to go to a movie but lucky for us, the Lilly’s called and invited us to bowling. So much fun!!! It was a quick game but we were laughing and messing with each other. Aaron couldn’t break the 9s. Di is the funniest bowler I’ve ever seen. I hope she allows me to post the video (please, Di?).

After bowling, we went back to Mike and Diana’s to hang out. By midnight or so, we were exhausted so it was beddy bye time.

Sunday was interesting. After church, Yi, Jennwy, Peter, Joey and I took a road trip to Turkeyville. Not exactly what I expected but still was fun being with the group. I think I wanted it to be more like Frankenmuth. But…guess who was there?!?! Jesus! Jenny and Yi got their picture taken with him. He looked really sad, though. After Turkeyville, we visited my elementary school in Olivet. It brought back so many memories. They still have the same playground equipment! We decided to stop by the Country Mill in Potterville but we were all a little turkeyed out to care.

Arriving back at Joey’s, we only had an hour and a half before the Riverview Own It meeting. The boys took off downstairs to play video games. Yi, Jenny and I went and sat in the hot tub.

And now...it's time for another weekend :o)

I love this girl...and it's her birthday Friday :o)

Canine Cruise 2006

Sunday, we took Titan to the Canine Cruise. He didn't win the costume contest so we decided to take his costume off and take it the car before the 5k walk. We got to the car and found ourselves driving away. No 5k walkie for us. It was cold!

Happy Halloween!

A look back on costumes past. I was a bunny for several years until I really couldn't fit in the pink footed pjs anymore (I think my mom even cut the feet off the pjs to satisfy my need to be a bunny for Halloween). I remember her trying to change my mind for a couple years but I insisted on being a bunny.

I think I wanted to be a bunny this year but my mom had enough and put my step-sis and I in these costumes. You can see how happy I am.

Who knows what I was this year? If you know, you are a true child of the 80s.

One of my favorite Halloweens. I spent it with my dad and Christine. When we got back from Trick or Treating all of my parents's friends were there and we had a party.

More Halloween Pictures

Joey and I with Babbie at his Halloween party. It was awesome hanging out with my college and 20-something peeps.

Becky and Ryan

Russ

Pictures from this Summer

Joey, me, my nephew and niece on our way to Cedar Point after spending two days at my aunt and uncles. See the trunk? I can't even remember why this picture was so funny. I think I started working on a blog about the whole trip but you know how that goes...


Hemi did NOT like the car ride. Chessie was more comfortable with it (as you can see her in the driver's seat).
Hemi hiding because he doesn't want to move out of the house. It was difficult getting him out of here.
This is my cousin Travis' dog, Bailey. Bailey was born without a leg. Instead, he has a little wing. The awesome thing is that God made this dog for my cousin. As you can see from the picture below, my cousin is different, too. There are no disabilities...just challenges, depending on how you look at it. Bailey hangs out on Travis' wheelchair all day.
My cousin Travis and Bailey.


Diana and I had to show the boys we could move furniture, too. We're tough.
Titan and Cain got into the Christmas decorations while we were packing. They were totally busted when I took this picture (thus the deer in the headlights look).

HTH

A group photo from the road rally.

Perhaps God Will Help

"Gull lake, huh?"
"Yeah, Gull Lake."
"When did they move out there?"
"A couple days ago."
We went back to the car and I sighed. I just had to find her. I hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks and I needed to know she was okay. Joey and I went to his parent's furniture store around the corner. After talking with potential customers, we headed back to Lansing.

But I forgot my purse.
So we had to turn around.
And this time when we were leaving the store, I had such a strong feeling tell me to go the other way, away from Lansing, I couldn't deny it.

"Can we go to the old house? Maybe they are still moving things out."
Joey wasn't convinced. We chugged down the road toward the previous home but Joey hesitated with every driveway we passed.

"Do you know where Gull Lake is?" I asked. No. I pulled out a map and found it but wasn't so sure of myself. That was when the road sign pointing toward Gull Lake showed up. We came to the stop sign. Left or right? Left...or right?

This past week I learned some valuable lessons. One of these lessons was about fear. Sometimes fear is a good thing which prevents us tragic pain. Other times, fear is needless and is a way to stop us from doing something God wants us to do. The anticipation of doing something we fear is often more painful than actually doing what we feared. Like having a surgery. You worry and fret about the surgery, wasting all sorts of time and allowing the fear to steal your joy. Surgery takes a couple hours or something and then you are in recovery. Why waste all of the time fearing the event when it's over so soon? Sometimes, we have to do things in fear if we are ever going to get over the fear. It is about faith that God will take care of it.

"I have to find her," I said. Joey turned right. We drove way out into the country and then came to a lake. I had never been to this lake before but Joey had. We turned left and began our search. My heart wasn't really racing. I wasn't scared at all. I knew I was walking in faith. I was searching in faith and I just knew we were going to find her. After passing several houses, Joey said something that half of me was thinking: she could be anywhere. But I cast the doubt down in my heart and said this to Joey: if God wants us to find her, we'll find her. I have faith and I just can't give up.

Joey turned down another little road as we kept looking for the vehicle. We saw several mini vans, same color as hers but no...not quite. Then, we passed a house which was tucked away a bit off the main road. A mini van was there...same color...same make. We passed it with our hearts fluttering. Joey turned around to double check. Yes, this was the vehichle we were looking for. A sticker on the car gave it away. We were floored. God of the impossible had made the impossible possible once again.

We didn't march right up to the house. Instead, we went to a parking lot just up the road and pulled to pray. As I began praying, the clouds parted and the sun just burst out of the cold sky, warming us. No lie. It was such a God moment. We prayed for direction, peace and for Him to use us how He wanted to. Then, we went to the house.

Yes, it was her house. I was so happy, I almost wanted to cry. I saw her there and knew she was okay. She had lost her cell phone which was why she couldn't call. She had been e-mailing me but had been too busy to tell me about the new house. Really, none of it mattered. I was just happy to let her know I'm still here. We are still here. All of us: Joey, me and God.

Walking in faith is not the easiest. I back down quite a bit but I'm learning the lessons. In church tonight, Noel talked about faith being nonsense. It wasn't a realistic thing becuase if you try to be logical, you aren't being faithful. Faith isn't logic...it is unseen. It is a non-sense. It is trusting the Lord when everything in you tells you to go the other way.

As Joey and I drove home, he smiled. "Wow. What a God moment. You have to blog about this." So...I am. This blog will be here to remind me and perhaps I'll read it the next time I DON'T want to step out in faith.

Where else can you hear the following lyrics after singing about looking Jesus full in His wonderful face?

Take my hand
take my whole life, too
For I can't help
Falling in love with you...

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away....

That's right. One song at my church. Flippin cool.

Finally! I can post pictures from the Tigers game last weekend. Bonderman was pitching.












We got our rally gum in cuz things were a little uncertain in the 9th inning.

Tigs win!

Sarah, my sorority sister and former roommate.

So, the TV coverage didn't show the dude who jumped (or as Joey says, face planted) himself onto the field. You can see him being chased by security in the orange coat (centerfield).

Pre-Halloween Weekend

Friday, we went to the Swanson Fall Festival party. So much good food and of course, I ate too much. I surprised Jenny who didn't know I was such a hog. The pumpkin carving contest was...interesting.














Clark's pumpkin Joey's pumpkin (1st place)


Saturday, we participated in the HTH (Holt Treasure Hunt). We were the Superhero team: Ballboy (Joey), Holly Fantastic (a sleepy superhero), Captain Awesome (Peter), Super Nanny (Jenny), Captain Backslash (Clark) and Semicolon Girl (Kristen). The Road Rally started at Holt's 9th grade campus. The first clue took us to Dead Man's Hill. We were pretty good at getting most of the clues. Some mistakes were not opening the plastic golf ball and thinking we had to go to MSU driving range. We figured that out before we got too far away. Another mistake was not finding the right creek on Chapman. We went to a golf course thinking that might be the place to get the clue. We also went there for a pee break. Coming out of the clubhouse, I realized I was staring at a flat tire. Oh snap. Grandma's purple van had a flat. We went from 2nd place to 11th. We also had to call in twice to headquarters because we couldn't find the clue. Here are some good things we did:

Clue--A rock glued into a piece of wood. Jenny: "Maybe its not a rock...maybe its a stone...and a plank." Clark looked it up on the GPS and sure enough, Old Plank road intersected Stone Road.

Clue--It read "go here to get your chips and cheese to go along with your beer." Peter began to study the map and found the intersection of Colby and Pringle. "Pringle and colby! Chips and cheese!"

Clue--A small piece of paper with random letters all over it. There were two folds on each side. Kristen folded the two sides back and read the clue...but it wasn't the clue. She then folded the two ends together and THAT was the clue. So smart.

Everyone did such an awesome job. If you ever get a chance to do a road rally, go for it. I can't wait for next year. We ended up at the Mason VFW hall for the dinner and dancing. Yeah, check out some of the dancing.

Justin is coming home

My cousin Justin was injured in Iraq this week. This is the same cousin I said goodbye to in May. I don't know all the details but I know he is alive. He was driving the humvee which went over a landmine in an area that had been cleared by the army the day before. It ripped off four of his fingers, shredded his calf muscle and cause a severe concussion. Somehow, he did something to save some of the guys with him which earned him a purple heart (you can see it pinned to him in the picture). Some of the guys didn't make it. Justin is coming home today or tomorrow. Well, he's going to a hospital in MD and then home, eventually. Please pray for continued recovery, physically, mentally and spiritually. And keep praying for the servants over there. I know they signed up for it but that can just not be a reason to not care about them. Truly, I'm tired of that statement because these are our brothers and sisters...and cousins. Justin's brother Josh goes to Iraq in December. By some miracle, could they all come home...alive...before then? Yeah, I know that was silly.

Target Practice

I got this forward from a co-worker, immediately thought about deleting it, read it, chose my person and realized God had been trying to make a point to me. I think this imagery will stay with me for the rest of my life. It's funny how sometimes your heart is open to receiving messages from God and sometimes it isn't. My heart has been closed and cold for the past few weeks but this week has been different for reasons I won't share.

I'm finally picking up what you are putting down, Lord.

A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class,
given by her teacher, Dr. Smith. She says that Dr. Smith was known for his
elaborate object lessons.

One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for
a fun day.

On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many darts. Dr.
Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or
someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at
the person's picture.

Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend. Another
friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a
former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing
pimples on the face. Sally was pleased with the overall effect she had
achieved.

The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the students threw
their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally
looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr.
Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats.
As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a
chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smith began removing the target
from the wall.

Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room as
each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks
covered His face and His eyes were pierced.

Dr. Smith said only these words.. "In as much as ye have done it unto the
least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me."
Matthew 25:40.

Tigers!

There were supposed to be a whole bunch of pictures in this post but after fighting with blogger for two days, I give up.

“So….where were YOU on Saturday, Holls?”

“Oh…just watching the Spartans loose while I tried to remember why I was still wearing green and white.”

Ha ha.

Most of you know JC and I went to the Tiggerz game which was such an experience. After making our way to Tiger stadium (no, that’s not a misprint, it’s a driving error) we headed to Comerica to find every parking spot taken. Having heard about the homeless guy who was parking cars in an ally way for $30 a shot, I secretly started looking for him in desperation. We pulled up to an equally looking homeless guy who said, “$25 to park here AND your car keys.” “No way!” I shouted and Joey floored it. I suggested we try the other side of Comerica where we found a safe parking ramp for $25. We even parked in the corner which made me feel more comfortable.

We waited in a short line after trying to get through the standing room only peoples and got inside to our seats. Section 216, Row B, seats 9-10. Nice view. We saw the fan who interfered with the play and allowed the A’s to score a run. We saw security have a nice chat with him afterward. We put in our rally gum during the 7th inning. We yelled at the woman in front of us who would not sit down because she was waving at people in the stands below her. She was blocking home plate! When Ordonez swung, we heard the entire stadium take a deep breath a the ball sailed through the air and then everyone erupted in madness as we a.) realized it was a hommer b.) realized we were actually going to the World Series and c.) we were being sprayed by beer, not champagne. We saw the fan who jumped from the wall in the outfield, sprinted toward the celebrating Tigers and was tackled by security.

After the award was given, JC and I went down to the merry-go-round to meet up with my sorority sis and former roommate, Sarah. Kind of funny we were meeting up in Detroit because it was also Central’s homecoming and we were all going to go up there until the game time changed. Sorry, Chips, but I was a Tiger on Saturday. Excellent decision.

We made our way back to the parking ramp through the crowd, though my mittened hand was becoming sore from all of the high-fives people were giving me. No one was really out of control. Power under control. We changed into our baseball uniforms in the parking ramp and headed out to Mike Babbie’s Halloween party. I got to see all of my old buddies and realized once again how much I miss them. We drove back to Lansing and had some really good talks about stuff. Excellent ending to a somewhat shiny day.

Now, if any of y’all have World Series tickets, let me know if you would like to sell them to me. JC must go to the game!

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Myspace Rant about Sex

So, it started out like this: My Space is for child molesters and 14-year-olds.
Then it went to this: well, maybe I'll just join so I can keep an eye on my 14-year-old nephew. Now it's this: Crap! I haven't updated my profile song in like a month! Better get to it....

I just spent two and half hours on MySpace. Think it's a waste of time? Well, check out what I'm learning, remembering, and wishing I never knew.

Ah-ha Moment #1
So, you don't want to listen to God tell you not to have sex with anyone but your spouse. You're horny. You have the right. It's your body. Who cares if the creator of the universe tells you, "dude, it's a bad idea." I mean, who are any of us accountable to? Ourselves? Living for ourselves? "I want to be as sexy and free as I want to be. I answer to no one." Great. Now, you're 18, pregnant with an STD. "I'll just get an abortion." Yeah, that's right. Just do that. It's like an immunization, right? Nothing you'll remember and regret for the rest of your life. "Well, I'll just use a condom." Having sex with someone is the closest you will ever be to them spiritually. You can't touch someone's soul by hugging them but connecting to them sexually, you will forever be bonded. Don't believe me? Noel taught on sex last year. He said his wife was a virgin when they got married but he took every memory from every previous sexual encounter he's ever had into his marriage bed. For the rest of his life, he'll fight off those memories when he could have just had the ones with his wife. Sex emotionally links you to someone. When that someone decides to start having sex with someone else, you are ripped away but still bonded. Still bonded together. God does not want this for you. He made sex hot to stay with YOUR SPOUSE forever.

Guess whose profile I found on myspace today? The first person I ever had sex with. This guy is a stand up comic in NYC. He says he addicted to cigarettes, blow jobs and amateur porn. I gave my virginity to this??? Please say it ain't so. For all I know, I could be the punch line to one of his jokes. I'm in his memory forever as the first one and now he carries that with him wherever he goes. I feel exploited because the person I'm engaged to isn't my first. Why didn't I wait? Why could I not wait for the person I would be married to so that my virginity wouldn't be walking the streets of NYC, dropping the f-bomb, looking for a BJ and renting "Crumb"?

Ah-ha Moment #2
Why am I writing about sex and losing my virginity? Because after spending two and a half hours on myspace, I realized a lot of it was about sex, sex, sex. Sex is so exploited. People bare it all for everyone to see. I'm so tired of it. What about the fun of life? What about just going to the mall or a museum or running a 5k? Why is everyone writing about how many hickeys they got from their girlfriend last night or how they want sex, sex and more sex? Why is everyone being so sexual as if it defines who they are? Why, if we have to so sexual and write about sex all the time, why isn't it about our spouses? People assume sex will stop being hot after marriage? Why aren't the ones writing about hot sex married?!?! Instead, we're all quickly becoming bonded to one another yet more broken than ever. It isn't fulfilling. I have been down that road and I know how empty it is.

Ah-ha Moment #3
A lot of it this is coming from my little cousins. Well, the last time I checked, they were my little cousins. Now they are the ages of 16-14 and guess what they are writing about? Sex, drugs, and who is more musically hip. I could cry right now. I was them when I was their age. I was 14 and messing around with the guy I wrote about who is walking the streets of NYC with my virginity. I could only plead with them to hold on to theirs but why would they listen to their 30-year-old cousin, aunt. I'm lame. I'm an adult. But I have a picture and a story. You only have to look up the first guy I had sex with on myspace to know better. Don't give it away. What made me think it was cool to take virginity away from others? What made me think I need to have sex with one more person to make it to 10? It's stupid. It's a waste. I was horribly wrong.

Ah-ha Moment #4
"Well, I need to try everyone out sexually first to know if we are compatible." No. You don't. In the teaching on sex, Noel made an excellent point: it takes married couples YEARS to become compatible. Practice, practice, practice.

Ah-ha Moment #5
It ain't cool to be a Christian. It's cool to be an atheist. Don't forget, cool kids, that if someday you try to high five Jesus, He will turn to you and say, "I never knew you." You WANT this guy to know you. But, if you insist on going through the drunkenness, drugs and sexual exploits before learning it all...the hard way...the way I did it, then that is your free will. Is it possible to learn a little something from me? From the adults in your life? The pressure is great, I know. I truly know. But you don't have to cave in. There is a different support system out there for you to lean on. It's real. It will save you.

Ah-ha Moment #6
I needed to see all of this so that I don't forget its out there. It is times like these when I want to seperate the weeds from the wheat but it isn't my place.

God, help us all...the ones who have, the ones who haven't yet, the ones who are...

Pain to Remember and Forget

"Starin' at you takin' off your makeup
Wonderin' why you even put it on
I know you think you do, but baby you don't need it
Wish that you could see what I see when it's gone

Yeah, smile and shake your head as if you don't believe me
I'll just sit right here and let you take me back
I'm on that gravel road, look at me
On my way to pick you up you're standin' on the front porch
Lookin' just like that, remember that"

Joey sang these lyrics to me at the top of his lungs a year ago today. It's an awesome memory that makes me smile. It's a bad memory that makes me regret. Ever have a memory like that? It was the night we saw Joe Diffee and a photographer took our picture. This picture was posted on the Whiskey Barrel Saloon's website the next day. We flipped out but also laughed. If you didn't know by now, we were both messed up last year. Think I'm going to get more specific? No, but I want to write about it vaguely and I'll just say that Grey's Anatomy is becoming way too familiar for me.

It is strange to be where I am now and to remember where I was then. Wednesday, I was at the building I worked in last year. When I pulled out of the parking lot onto Levan, I remembered so many things. The leaves turning colors, the windy days blowing me around, the songs on the radio, the overwhelming feelings of guilt, loss, pain. I can still remember. I was placed on a pedestal and then knocked down in a day. I felt like nothing. I felt crazy. I wondered where God was but all I could do was cry in my bed and walk around like a zombie. I numbed myself from the pain I hid in my heart. I failed at work consistently. I disobeyed God consistently. I saw my path choices and KNOWINGLY selected the wrong one. God let me go. Let me rephrase that. God didn't let go of me but He let me go down the road I wanted. Funny how He did try to stop me.

I remember trying to leave work to get to Lansing for the concert. My IAMS job was blowing up and I was in a meeting with higher ups until after 6 pm. When I finally left work, the ramp to the freeway I take every day was closed. Whoa. I knew then I should turn around but I kept going. After rerouting myself, I was stuck in traffic for another half hour. The Holy Spirit urged me to turn back but I didn't. I kept going. Being stuck in a sin pattern is like that.

Things went from seemingly good to truthfully bad. God broke down both Joey and I. He made us start over from the beginning and confess our sins to others involved. But I remember being so broken when I wrote this post and the strength returning when I wrote this one. It’s been a year later and I’m still trying to sort things out a bit. I’m in a better place now. It’s like looking back on a tragedy in your life…remembering where you were on 9/11 and how you felt but sighing deeply at the healing you've done since then. Still painful, but less.

I'm a sinner and don't deserve anything from God. That's what makes Jesus so flippin awesome. God sees me through Jesus. God forgives me. So, yeah, this will be my only post reflecting back on the pain of last year. I post it to remind me when I come to this situation again in my life. Trust God. Really trust Him. I feel better being here but wonder if I could have learned more back there. I should have trusted God more. Perhaps things did turn out the way He wanted. Pre-marital counseling starts Sunday so I think we’ll work out any remaining kinks we worked into our own lives last year. Prayers are awesome, Peeps :o)

Guess who got hurt during his trip to Ohio State? One guess only, please. :o)

William Granger Youatt Jr. East Lansing, MI, William Granger Youatt Jr. died October 10, 2006. Born in 1947, his family moved to East Lansing when he was a child, and he grew up in the "barracks" on the Michigan State University campus where his father was pursuing a degree. Bill would later earn a B.A. in English (1969) and M.A. in History (1971) from MSU. Except for his years in Law School, (Florida State University, 1975), he spent his life in the East Lansing-Haslett area. He married June Pierce in 1977, and opened a private family law practice in Haslett where they raised their three children, Allison June, Emily Jean, and Andrew Pierce. Bill attended elementary through high school in Haslett, and wanted his children to experience the sense of belonging he and his brothers had known in Haslett. As a high school student, he was an avid athlete, winning varsity letters in basketball, football, and baseball. He remained deeply rooted in his community and committed to its schools all of his life. Bill had a strong commitment to service; and over the years served as a volunteer for the Haslett Public Schools and the HYRA program, as a member of Meridian Township government, and as a dedicated nursery worker at University Baptist Church. He understood his law practice as another venue for service, and helped generations of Haslett families over the past three decades. His greatest joys were family and friends. Bill is survived by his wife of 29 years, June Pierce Youatt, and their three children; his three brothers Robert (Suzi) Grafton, VT, Daniel (Rachelle) Peoria, AZ, and Thomas (Kay) Harbor Beach, Michigan; six nieces and nephews, a grandnephew, and a paternal uncle and family, Ned and Ellyn Youatt of Romeo, Michigan. He was preceded in death in 2005 by his father, William Granger Youatt, Sr. and earlier in 2006 by his mother, Frances Jean Youatt. He cared deeply for his mother and father-in-law, Leta and Clyde Pierce. His friends were a significant part of his life, and he was surrounded by many he had known and loved since high school and college. A memorial service is planned for Monday, October 16 at the MSU Alumni Chapel at 4:30 p.m. The family will receive friends on Sunday, October 15 from 4 to 6 p.m. at University Baptist Church, 4608 S. Hagadorn Rd., East Lansing. Those wishing to honor his memory may do so through a donation to the William G. Youatt Endowed Undergraduate Student Scholarship fund at Michigan State University, 300 Spartan Way, East Lansing, Michigan 48823. The Family is being served by the Gorsline Runciman Funeral Homes, Lansing.Published in the Lansing State Journal - October 13, 2006

Hello, Snow.
I didn't think I would be seeing you for at least another month. But here you are. Funny how there are 12 months in a year but you only managed to stay away for 5. Why complain? I choose to continue to live here, after all. The problem I do have with you is the way you sometimes act so gentle and care-free, yet underneath, you are freezing the roads we drive on creating a slick, hellish ride to our destinations. This morning when I woke up, I saw you flying outside my window, just like the bugs did last week. I saw you falling so peaceful this morning and actually welcomed you into my heart. A few minutes later, you were raging in the wind and it made me sad. How many more months of this until my beloved spring?