I’m defending submission because it is in the bible. He is against submission because…he…doesn’t like it? I’m not even sure where he is coming from. He just keeps saying he doesn’t like it.
But…God said…well, what did God say?
Romans 13:1[ Submission to the Authorities ] Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.
Romans 13:5Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.
Ephesians 5
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
And now…the definition:
sub·mit Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[suh b-mit] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -mit·ted, -mit·ting.
–verb (used with object)
1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).
2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.
3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.
4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually fol. by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required.
–verb (used without object)
5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.
6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy.
7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your judgment.
Does it state that the one doing the submitting is weaker? Less than? A piece of poo? A slave? Beneath? Inferior? Maybe one of the definitions leaned that way but I have a feeling that is what our socieity has done to the word.
After all, do you feel that way when you stop at a light? Or when you pay for something at the mall? Honor the home of a friend by not smoking, drinking, swearing, etc.? We submit all the time. The Lord asks us to.
I did some research and I feel like I’m defending God because I went to the Bible first. Myself and Riverview are not making this stuff up! I’m getting a little fired up and really, I shouldn’t. The Lord is in control, not me, not the other pastor. And I’m learning through this whole experience. So, I’m sharing some schtuff, mainly so I have a place to keep my thoughts.
I go this from Bible.com:
What is the definition of submission? It is yielding to another's desires without resistance. Submission to another's wishes is an attitude of the heart done willingly, while surrender is yielding by being forced to do so.
Soooo…..
Submission = willingly
Surrender = forced
And who do we all submit to first?
God.
SUBMIT TO GOD FIRST…ALWAYS
”Therefore SUBMIT TO GOD [and not to the devil], [but] RESIST THE DEVIL ...[and] DRAW NEAR TO GOD...” (James 4:7,8).
Women and men. Husbands and wives. We submit to God first and foremost.
From an article I found on Divorce Hope.com
http://www.divorcehope.com/christiangodlysubmissioninmarriage.htm
“The subordinate submission Scriptures tells wives to submit to their OWN husbands: “Wives, SUBMIT to your own husbands, AS TO THE LORD” (Ephesians 5:22). Notice that wives are not to submit to “another man”, but the man of the marriage. More importantly, the submission to the man of the marriage is “AS TO THE LORD.” What does “as to the Lord” mean? And to whom is submission rendered? “As to the Lord” is the way a Christian ought to submit to others. Whether it is our spouses, our employer, or those who are in law enforcement or government authorities, the submission that we render to them is the same submission that we would render to the Lord Jesus Himself — “as [we would submit] to the Lord.” Meaning, God commands us to resist evil no matter what form it comes in and no matter who it comes through.
“We have been taught that we are to blindly follow our spouse, but that is just not true. God set up specific guidelines in His written Word for us so we will not be deceived and do wrong. Gods’ written Word is our foundation. His Holy Spirit will lead and guide us according to that Word. The Lord Himself would not have anyone do anything ungodly (evil) or under coercion or manipulation. In a marriage, submitting “as to the Lord” is submitting to that which is OF THE LORD in your spouse.
“For instance, let’s say that an angel spoke to us to do something evil, we would have NO choice but to resist and say, “No!” The Word of God, which is our instructions on how to submit, says to “Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Resist the devil ...[and] draw near to God...” (Romans 12:9, James 4:7, 8), NO MATTER WHO IT IS! Even if it’s “...an angel from heaven ...let him be accursed” (Galatians 1:8). The Scripture says to “cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9c).
“CLINGING IS SUBMITTING! WHEN IT’S “OF THE LORD”, YOU SUBMIT “AS TO THE LORD.” WHEN IT’S NOT “OF THE LORD”, YOU DON’T SUBMIT “AS TO THE LORD.” For example, you are not to submit to abuse; it’s not “of the Lord.””
So, I am to submit to God first. This means that if my husband leads me away from God, wants me to something illegal or not biblical, I am to say no.
My first allegiance is to God. I belong to Him.
I also belong to my husband….and he belongs to me, too. That doesn’t sound like tyranny and chauvinism, does it?
Back to Divorce Hope.com:
“Submission to our spouse is never greater than our submission to God. Some people actually think God gives us the liberty to have another god before us. That is just not so (See Exodus 20:3). We must always submit to God first. He knows what decisions to make. As we submit to God and to one another He uses these situations to mature us, to bless us, and to reveal our own weaknesses. This results in our seeking Him all the more. “For when I am weak, THEN I am strong” (2Corinthians 12:10b).“There are all kinds of daily situations where one must submit to another. Husbands and wives need to make decisions daily about certain things. These decisions are not always to separate the good from the evil, but deciding what’s the best thing to do in a particular situation.
“For example, we may need a car, but what kind? How much do we spend? These kinds of situations are where we grow together as husband and wife while submitting to one another. We must gain understanding of what kind of car fits our needs so we can make a wise decision. At times it is not always clear which course of action to take. This is where praying together in agreement comes in — seeking Gods heart together. Even though a better automobile may be needed, which one is the right one for us?
Hold on….what do you think of this part:
“Suppose the wife felt in her heart that God said, “THIS car is the one”. But the husband isn’t sure which car to get. What could happen next? The husband could override his wife and say no, or the husband could trust the Lord through his wife and submit to her after they talked it out, even as Abraham submitted to his wife, Sarah (See Genesis 21:12). In these kinds of daily decisions, IT’S BETTER FOR THE HUSBAND AND WIFE TO BE IN AGREEMENT AND SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER EVEN IF IT’S THE WRONG CHOICE. The choice could be wrong because of a lack of knowledge. It is better to submit to each other, instead of not being in agreement, which causes strife. It is God’s heart to make right a wrong situation when the couple is in agreement seeking Him even if they did make the wrong choice. It is God’s heart to make right a wrong situation when the couple is in agreement seeking Him even if they did make the wrong choice. It is better to be in agreement and make a wrong choice with a clean conscience than for one spouse to disagree and make the “right” choice and be in constant strife. “For where envy and self-seeking [strife] exist, CONFUSION AND EVERY EVIL THING ARE THERE” (James 3:16).
From Bible.com
In the Spirit, women are equal with men, and each must submit unto Jesus as their spiritual head.
In the flesh, in the marriage relationship, women are to be subject to their husband's headship.
The Lord ordained that the man be the one that would make final decisions in the home because in any relationship involving two people one must be the final authority. Men are to love their wives like Jesus loves the church. He laid His life down for her. Men that are demanding that their wives submit to them have not learned the right way to win them and that is to love them with the love of the Lord.
From this definition we see we are to yield to one another instead of demanding our own way.
"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another" (Romans 12:10).
Both husband and wife should be submissive and loving. The love of Christ should be the rule in the home. When wifely submission is over-stressed we find it can lead to many problems that cause the husband-wife relationship to be thrown out of balance. Some even stress it to the degree that a wife must obey every command her husband dictates to her. They arrive at this conclusion because of the Scripture, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything" (Ephesians 5:24). The word "everything" here is not inclusive of evil things. Women are to submit to their husbands as the church is to submit unto Christ. Christ would never ask anything of the church that was not according to God's Word. Women are never to submit unto things that do not line up with God's Word.
If any man, husband or otherwise, would ask us to do something that Jesus would not sanction, then we must refuse to do it. We should also do and apply those things that the Holy Spirit would speak to us to do. We must obey Him over what man would say to us. If it is truly the Lord speaking to us, He will deal with the one who is wrong.
Here are some bullet points from the rest of the article:
*Most women who have a problem submitting to their husbands have the same problem submitting to the Lord.
*Mary submitted to God regarding her pregnancy without discussing with Joseph first. This is a case where a woman submitted to God first, and then the Lord dealt with her husband showing him she had heard the Lord.
*When the Scripture speaks of wives obeying and submitting to their husbands, it cannot mean that every wife must obey her husband always in everything. She, as well as he, is responsible to obey what the Spirit gives each to do. The husband does not lead the wife into all truth since this is the work of the Holy Spirit.
*This does not license a wife who has a domineering spirit to do anything she wants simply because she says she is only subject to the Lord.
*The Lord is displeased with any person who tries to dominate and rule another's life, whether that person be male or female.
SUBMISSION OUT OF BALANCE
Submission has been out of balance in both directions, thereby causing much confusion in the body of Christ. Those who refuse to submit to any authority are just as out of balance as those who submit to every dictate of those who they feel are their superiors, regardless of the mandates. We must have the leadership of the Holy Spirit in all areas of our lives. Legalistic approaches to the Word of God always bring bondage. Paul's letter to the Galatians was a reprimand to the people who were leaving the simplicity of the gospel and reverting back to strict rules and regulations.
We have the same problem today within the church as some are becoming hard and dogmatic in dealing with the truth and with people. Submission is required of God's people, but never to the point that men begin ruling other men's or women's lives. This has been abused greatly in regard to church authority. Some pastors have become dictators, while others have become so permissive (all in the name of love) that order is lost in the church. With no order in the body of Christ there is chaos. There has to be respect for the pastor and the other offices in the body of Christ. Any legalistic approach to this, however, brings bondage and does not carry out God's wishes. God's true pastors lead His flock in love and by example.
And this whole article from Bible.com was (gasp!) written by a woman: Betty Miller.
RECAP:
1.) Submit to God first and always.
2.) Submit to Husband unless it is contradictory to God.
3.) Submit to each other so there is no strife in the marriage.
4.) Be careful of unbalanced submission.
5.) If I have trouble submitting to a godly husband, than I have trouble submitting to the Lord.
6.) Do not be domineering. Do not allow others to domineer you.
1 comment:
i'm praying for you two.
what a crap shoot to have to deal with.
it will come together =)
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