Pregnant? Me? Really??!

I just could not believe I was pregnant. I thought for sure we would struggle to conceive like so many of our friends. That just seems like the norm these days. I asked for more proof. I wanted to see this little being. Amanda ordered an ultrasound.

I was 7 weeks pregnant when we went in for the ultrasound. The tech brought us into the room, turned down the lights and had me get on the table. I was somewhat relaxed until she put the jelly on my abdomen and started looking for baby. As she moved the thingy ma bob around my belly, I almost was holding my breath. She said nothing. Why not? I became anxious. I told myself, "see, you can't carry this baby. You don't deserve to. You've already lost it." But the other half was praying to God, "please, please, please...I want this baby."

A song popped into my head (they often do) that made my eyes start to well up with tears.

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching
as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
to where will you run

'Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall
in the dead of night whenever you call
and please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you....

I wanted to scream out to this lady, "WHAT IS GOING ON? IT HAS BEEN 5 MINUTES AND YOU'VE SAID NOTHING." Suddenly, the tech said, "Ah...baby," and she flipped on the microphone. The sound of the baby's heartbeat flooded my ears. Tears slipped out of my eyes as I looked at Joey and thanked God. A little heartbeat. Everything looked fine so far.

Oh...and we found out my platelets were never low. They just clump. How stupid. All of those blood draws for nothing. But it was still a great story and we used it as a cover until we were ready to tell people our wonderful news.