Expectation Victim

This Christmas season was a strange one. I didn't get all happy about it. Joey and I had some great times shopping (he's my favorite shopping buddy) but there was something unfulfilled. I wasn't filled with the Christmas joy on Christmas Eve, either. I listened to Mark talk about expectations and I thought about other people's expectations. I guess mine were simple and they weren't met.

I expected to be happy when I woke up Christmas morning. I wasn't. I expected to be happy when I opened my new Zune. I was. I expected the Corr's to be loving and warm to me. They were. I expected members (or member) of my family to be just as warm and loving to my fiance. They weren't. It deflated the rest of my expectations. But there was still a glimmer of hope. I still had my dad's house to go to....and that expectation was thrown out the window when he called to say my step-mom was sick. F-ing expectations.

Joey suggested we go see a movie. We did. Guess what? It didn't really meet my expectations! So maybe I'm setting the bar too high, right? Like I expect too much, ya know. Like it is too much to ask to have people treat you the same every time they see you instead of deciding on some whim they are angry with you. Is it too much to ask for some consistency? Just a little bit?

This entry doesn't have a happy ending. Well, in a way it does. I had a little break down on Christmas night. I just felt unhappy and blah. So, I cried. And Joey was there...like I expected. And as soon as the tears were gone, I felt so much better...except for the sinus pressure which warned me of an oncoming cold. You've got to be kidding!!!!!