I feel like I cried all day Sunday, but I'm sure I laughed a few times. It started when Noel got up to deliver his message. He announced that Dan's dad passed away that morning. I looked at Joey, looked back at Noel, looked at Joey, looked back at Noel...for some reason I was confused. I didn't understand. I kept telling Joey, "I don't understand." Then, it started to sink in and...well...yeah. I had to leave for a minute to pull it together (and to get us some tissue). I could tell Noel was feeling it, too. He had just found out two minutes before. Of course, Noel had perspective which we needed to be reminded of...so he reminded us. He taught about giving up your life in order to gain it. The message made me feel that there was no way I could ever live up to these expectations. Maybe I'll blog about the message at a later time. Right now I want to blog about crying.
The second time I started crying was when Noel talked about giving up his dream of planting a church. I turned to Joey and whispered, "What if Grace and Noel had left to plant a church before I got here? Would I still be here?" That is something crazy for me (pastors, close your eyes :). What if...I love that little game we play with ourselves. Still, everything was exactly as it should have been when I started going to Riverview. God had it lined up. He knew it would take someone crazy to open my heart....but it really hit me hard and I felt gratitude for all God has done for me through my pastors and other people. So, I started crying.
And then Dana's story was told. It was told in a way that I forgot I had written it. I bowed my head and just listened. Joey whispered, "you made everyone cry, Holly." I looked up and saw how powerful the story had been. I saw that it moved people, made people think. It made me think and re-think. I shared the CD with Dana. She is so honored that the trials she went through can possibly help other people.
I know I'm not supposed to think my church is the coolest...but it is. I know I can think God is the coolest. And he is.
1 comment:
Oh my gosh. Now I"M CRYING. I don't know why I didn't read this until today. Gosh. Dana's story totally hit me. I journaled about it. And honestly, Noel message was UTTERLY life changing. Dang it. I hate crying. Well no...not really. I love it. I'm crying for joy and hope and love. Joy in the Lord which gives me hope for my future to love people right. I haven't told Noel that he's totally changed my life in the past 2 years, nor that somehow the Lord uses him to break through my defenses and melt away my icy outerlayer ~ not just that but Oh...I should maybe not hog up your blog...I'll switch over to my own.
Holly, thanks once again for writing from your heart ~ you're often the catalyst to get out my own hearts expression...
btw it's me (Kate)
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