This Season

This season of my life is happy. However, I the next season, a darker season, is just around the corner. I do believe the darkness will have flecks of light poking through.

See, my grandma Beavers is sick. Actually, she isn't sick. She is old and her body is failing her. No one knows how long she'll live. They are moving her to a nursing home in St. John's. I wish it wasn't so far away but I'm going to visit as much as I can. I want to make her as happy and as comfortable as possible before her final season is over. Yes, I called Pastor Brooks. I haven't heard if he visited her or not but he said he would. My aunt was thankful I took the initiative but called the pastor of the church my grandma belongs to. So, poor gram may have gotten two friendly visits--a sure sign to her she's on her way out! It would be so like my grandma to defy us all and live another 10 years. I hope she does.

I love her to no end. She is the cutest, funniest, wittiest grandma I know. She used to call Joey "Joker" because we said his name too fast (Joe Corr). She flirts with everyone, too. Pretends she doesn't hear you when you give her a compliment so she can hear it twice. Her smile, her laugh even when she doesn't have her teeth in makes me smile, too. She loves to dance and I did get to dance with her at my cousin's wedding in April. She loves a good party, too. Always the last one up. On the 4th of July, she sat at the window intently watching the lake and fireworks with a smile on her face. It was 10:00 at night! She loves Lucy. I asked her if she thought it might be on tv when I saw her last Sunday. She got SO excited. "Do you think Lucy's on? Really?!" She loves to play Bingo and prides herself in all of her winnings. The best part is she learned how to use a computer and it was normal to get an instant message from her at 11:00 p.m. I need to miss her when she gone, though and enjoy her while she is still here.

Jeff's mom is in her 'final days', which could be a month for all I know. It is so sad, all of these funerals, all of this death in the air. Why would I be in a happy season?

I think I'm actually having a real relationship with God. It is the craziest thing in the world. I feel Him at night, in the morning, not so much at work but occasionally. A book I'm reading is helping me realize He isn't a distant uncle, He isn't the parent of the cool kids, He's so real to me. I hope this love affair lasts forever because yes, for the first time I feel like I'm falling in love all over again. You're cool, God. Really awesome.