I'm in Chicago, safe and sound. The boys are still sleeping but Bek and I couldn't lay in bed any longer. We stayed in last night but Ry, Chip and Andy went out. Bek and I slept on the Aerobed and it was oh, so nice. Chip and Ry slept on the floor next to us and Andy slept in his bed on the otherside. Well, that is until Ryan got in bed with Andy. When we woke up, Andy was on the couch downstairs. Ryan went back to his spot on the floor to try to pretend he had been there all along. Becky fell bounced off the Aerobed when she was trying to get back in. A few laughs this morning...good times...I really pray they continue.
It is beautiful outside, windy but I like the sun shining on our world. I feel so safe and blessed. I pray all stays that way as we venture out tonight.
Andy has wireless internet...yay!
Friday, December 31, 2004
God In Action Part 1
If someone asked me if I ever interacted with God, if I ever feel him or know he is there, I would say—heck yes! There are also times when I feel distant from him and I do go through phases of feeling inadequate or unworthy. 2004 has definitely been a year for God and I. Seeing him in action, seeing how time doesn’t exist for him, seeing his planning has left me in awe (and sometimes really pissed).
Story #1
It all came out of taking God’s name in vain. Ben, my former supervisor, and I were evaluating my performance as an employee during my yearly performance review. We were laughing about something and Ben made some comment where he dropped the G.D. word. Suddenly, one of the overhead lights turned off. Ben and I looked at each other a little spooked. “See, Ben, you shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” I said. “You know, I really need to work on that,” Ben said. And then the light came back on. From there we discussed how Ben majored in theology and he really wanted to get back into the bible, praying, discussion…and our bible study was born.
Our first meeting was in January and we had a couple people come. It really ended up being Krissie, Ben and I, though. We would rotate to different restaurants offering happy hour. It was real cute to see us with our bibles surrounded by the half off appetizers and dollar drinks. We really got into some good discussions. We prayed. And then the unthinkable…Ben’s little brother died in March.
I went to the funeral home and met Ben’s mom and step-dad who is a pastor. I introduced myself as one of Ben’s employees, and a friend. I explained that Ben and I had started a bible study, too. His mother hugged me tight and said, “Thank you so much for doing that with him. I really think Ben has grown closer to God over the past couple of months because of the study.” In the months after Simeon’s death, our bible study became more of grief counseling. But we had an established group already, one that met every Tuesday night, even if it was just the three of us. So Ben had an outlet for his grief…and we prayed, and cried, and shared.
Since then, I wonder about God. Was he trying to prepare Ben for this tragedy? Really, Ben has been all over the place in his relationship with God, his faith weak at times and strong, too. As his life continues, though, he has yet to turn his back on God. Even when Ben was angry, he turned toward God and let him have it. I truly see Ben’s life as a testimony for the tried and grief stricken. He has brought God soooo much glory.
Story #1
It all came out of taking God’s name in vain. Ben, my former supervisor, and I were evaluating my performance as an employee during my yearly performance review. We were laughing about something and Ben made some comment where he dropped the G.D. word. Suddenly, one of the overhead lights turned off. Ben and I looked at each other a little spooked. “See, Ben, you shouldn’t take the Lord’s name in vain,” I said. “You know, I really need to work on that,” Ben said. And then the light came back on. From there we discussed how Ben majored in theology and he really wanted to get back into the bible, praying, discussion…and our bible study was born.
Our first meeting was in January and we had a couple people come. It really ended up being Krissie, Ben and I, though. We would rotate to different restaurants offering happy hour. It was real cute to see us with our bibles surrounded by the half off appetizers and dollar drinks. We really got into some good discussions. We prayed. And then the unthinkable…Ben’s little brother died in March.
I went to the funeral home and met Ben’s mom and step-dad who is a pastor. I introduced myself as one of Ben’s employees, and a friend. I explained that Ben and I had started a bible study, too. His mother hugged me tight and said, “Thank you so much for doing that with him. I really think Ben has grown closer to God over the past couple of months because of the study.” In the months after Simeon’s death, our bible study became more of grief counseling. But we had an established group already, one that met every Tuesday night, even if it was just the three of us. So Ben had an outlet for his grief…and we prayed, and cried, and shared.
Since then, I wonder about God. Was he trying to prepare Ben for this tragedy? Really, Ben has been all over the place in his relationship with God, his faith weak at times and strong, too. As his life continues, though, he has yet to turn his back on God. Even when Ben was angry, he turned toward God and let him have it. I truly see Ben’s life as a testimony for the tried and grief stricken. He has brought God soooo much glory.
Terror
I look at their faces and want to help. I hear them crying out for that help and I want to give it to them. I think about what I am able to really do and all I come up with is prayer and money. I feel weird about praying for some reason. I'm confused by this "act of God." My thinking is that God didn't do it...but he allowed it. Yes, yes, yes, I know he is all knowing so I understand that he has better judgement than I do. I guess I just feel weird praying when I don't know the whole plan. At least this time anyway.
I was at my niece's birthday party when I found out about it from Joey. My step-father said, "you know what your grandfather told me before he died, Holly?" "What?" "He said that every once in awhile, God 'cleans house' with a huge natural disastor. It's almost like he is trying to even the population out again." "Hmmm...." I said, "doesn't sound like the God I'm getting to know." "Well, think about it," Dean replied, "maybe God said, 'sure, this is going to be horrific, but I've got something better for you.'"
Crazy thing is that I didn't even know what a Tsunami was until Christmas night. I got my dad this cool weather alert radio which will go off if there is an emergency. I was looking at all the codes and said, "what is a Tsunami?" My 12-year-old nephew said, "a giant wave you never want to meet. They only happen near Asia." "Oh, cool," I joked, "Dad, this radio will alert you if there is ever a Tsunami." Ha ha. Little did I know, at nearly the same moment, on the otherside of the world, the birth pains were beginning for one of the greatest disastors of our time.
Don't sit there. Do something. Anything. Do it. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
I was at my niece's birthday party when I found out about it from Joey. My step-father said, "you know what your grandfather told me before he died, Holly?" "What?" "He said that every once in awhile, God 'cleans house' with a huge natural disastor. It's almost like he is trying to even the population out again." "Hmmm...." I said, "doesn't sound like the God I'm getting to know." "Well, think about it," Dean replied, "maybe God said, 'sure, this is going to be horrific, but I've got something better for you.'"
Crazy thing is that I didn't even know what a Tsunami was until Christmas night. I got my dad this cool weather alert radio which will go off if there is an emergency. I was looking at all the codes and said, "what is a Tsunami?" My 12-year-old nephew said, "a giant wave you never want to meet. They only happen near Asia." "Oh, cool," I joked, "Dad, this radio will alert you if there is ever a Tsunami." Ha ha. Little did I know, at nearly the same moment, on the otherside of the world, the birth pains were beginning for one of the greatest disastors of our time.
Don't sit there. Do something. Anything. Do it. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Trip Around The Sun Highlights
Here they are. Some highlights from 2004. I don't have pictures for every highlight but its the best I can do right now. Just wanted you to know I'm not suicidal or anything.
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