Today sucked. It made me realize just how much I've grown up and how childish I still am. See...a lot has happened to this little life of mine in the past year. Last January, my independent Grandmother almost died but ended up okay...just in a retirement home. I saw her life completely change. And my life...well...we all know...I moved, took a husband, changed my name, address, social security, benefits, quit my job...yeah...lots of changes. I almost felt like I wasn't me anymore.
But I still have Christ. Thank you...God :o)
And now...on this cold, snowy evening...I wrestle with the latest change in my life: my father just had a stroke. What the hell? Seriously? This stuff doesn't happen to parents. It might happen to grandparents but my mom and dad are young. At least...the last time I noticed. I guess I haven't been paying attention to the time...because my life has been changing every day. At least it wasn't serious but seeing him laying there, unable to communicate except for a few words...it left me wanting to scream STOP! NO MORE CHANGES, LORD...please. But if there aren't going to be anymore changes, then I'm never going to grow...and I'll never have a better job...and if there aren't any changes in my life, then I would never welcome a baby into ours. So, I guess it is bittersweet...like the wine I'm drinking right now.
I hate January.
3 comments:
prayin for you guys!
Holly, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'll be praying and give me a call if you need to "run it out." :)
Of course the Brown kid is praying for Pops, too. Oh, and for babies! Lots of them! :)
xoxo
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