In times of crisis

“I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long”
~Kanye West “Jesus Walks”

Recently, I wrote on the now defunct RivBlog about turning to God. Sometimes, we just screw up. We know the right thing to do, trust in our selfish ambition or craving, and end up in a sin cycle. We have felt like we abused God. We crapped on our relationship with Him. We defied Him. We angered Him. How could we turn to Him now that we are in this huge mess?

This is when we think of God as a human. If we had done all of this to a human, they may think twice before helping us out. This is not God.

I was listening to JM the other day and she told about her youngest son, a messy but loveable kid. She and her husband Dave were trying to teach their son to have responsibility. They kept a chart outside the bedroom where they would reward him for cleaning his room. More times than not, the parents found themselves frustrated because their child just didn’t seem to care about the chart or keeping his room clean. He was too busy having fun.

One day, their son was playing outside when the neighborhood bully approached and began to push him around. The son yelled, “Daddy!” When the voice of his son reached the father’s ears, he did run to the chart next to the bedroom to see how his son was doing with his chores. He did not think about how the son had misbehaved an hour before and did not eat his lunch. All he heard was “Daddy!” and the father was gone. He raced to his son’s side and defended him, picked him up off the sidewalk, wiped his tears away and comforted the trembling boy.

How much more does our Heavenly Father love and care for us? We cannot even comprehend. So, when I have felt that I couldn’t turn to God because like Kanye says, “we haven’t spoken in so long,” I shouldn’t think of it in human terms. When I yell “Daddy! Father! Lord!” God has “run” to my side.

And when God calls us? I know when He has directly called me. One time I had several months to prepare. Another time, I had no preparation. I was to stop what I was doing, cancel my plans, change my direction, loose $$, turn back around and go. Just go. At first, I was confused by the call. It hurt deeply because the person God wanted me to help was in so much pain. I couldn’t think straight at first but a deep breath later and a prayer to the Lord…I was on my way with a sad but clear head. My humanness did start to worry but the Holy Spirit would step in and say “just keep going…let Me steer you.” I had some private moments where I broke down. But I just kept going, allowing God to use me. I could actually FEEL Him moving me, using me. It was incredible. And just like that, the crisis was over. I wondered if I had done enough or the right thing and I swear I heard a voice say, “you did what I asked you…I didn’t ask you to do the things you are worried about.”

So I stand by…and wait for the next time…because I know its coming...and I'm willing even when it hurts.