Her name is Dana. She is a month older than I, very happily married, a co-worker, and a new Christ follower. Dana is also my roommate’s best friend since high school. She sits a row over from me and is definitely an innovative thinker, challenging the old system of how we do things here at Valassis. More and more, we have confided in each other and turned to one another for support. I’ve written about her before, telling about the excitement of watching a new Christian get all fired up for God. Tami and I invited Dana to our weekly Purpose Driven Lunch and she accepted, full of enthusiasm. It was during our first meeting last week that I really got to know Dana and I clearly saw God’s work in her life.
Dana grew up Catholic with mom, dad, and little sister, Lauren. Her parents divorced when Dana was out of high school but the two remained friends. She was engaged to a man who had no background in God, church, religion, or Christ…but they love each other deeply. Her job at Chrysler was somewhat fulfilling but so far from her home. This was Dana’s world: happy, fulfilled, stable.
On September 24, 2002, Dana’s father sat down to lunch with a friend and then collapsed. He was rushed to ER where it was determined that he had a stroke. He couldn’t walk, could no longer communicate well, and became a shadow of the man he had been. While her father was still in the hospital, Dana had to make a decision: get married without him present or postpone. She and Jeff talked it over and married that November. They didn’t know when he would get better…if he would get better so they moved forward.
In February, the hospital wanted to release her father from the hospital. No one knew where he should live. As scared as she was, Dana stepped up and said, “I’ll take Dad.” She quit her job at Chrysler and turned her dining room into a mini hospital room. She became her father’s caretaker. Weeks went by with Dana trying to help her dad. She spoke to him, took him to the park, fed him and held his hand. He had been her best friend growing up. She couldn’t turn her back on him now. Occasionally, her mother would visit and Lauren would come home from college to help out on the weekends. Mostly, Dana was on her own. She got to the point where she would wake up in the morning, dreading the daylight, crying for her father and for her freedom. She was 27-years-old and newly married. She felt she should be living it up, having the time of her life, hanging out with friends…it wasn’t supposed to be this way. But every morning and every night, Dana’s father would manage to say, “thank you so much for doing this…I’ll never forget you.” It kept her going.
Her father was getting worse. Dana felt like she couldn’t take it anymore. A visit from a friend probably saved her. Dana unloaded all that she was feeling. This friend turned to her and said, “Dana, it isn’t about you. You are figuring out something most people never understand. This world isn’t about you. It is about God and God needs you to help your father.” Dana swallowed her feelings, stood up to the emptiness, and gave her all as her father slipped away. He died a year and an hour to the day he had the stroke: September 24, 2003.
Dana felt some relief because her dad wasn’t suffering anymore but now the emptiness of not having her father made her ache. She knew she needed something else, something that would fulfill her like nothing else could. Something to fill a void. She debated going back to her Catholic church but felt they had turned their back on her when she needed them most. She had attended some Christian church camps in high school but wasn’t really sure where to turn.
Dana started working at Valassis in July of 2004. I already knew Dana but it took awhile for the rest to get to know her well. It wasn’t until she was seated next to Jaime that things really started to change. Jaime, a Christian sista, listened to Dana’s daily stories and could see that she wanted more, needed more. She began to pray for Dana and then one day, while they were talking, I walked over and started blabbing about how cool God is. We encouraged Dana and then Jaime found the right moment to invite her to Genesis Church.
“So far so good,” Dana said. “Even Jeff looks forward to going, though I’m not going to push him. This is a huge step for us.”
Dana took a deep breath at this point in the story. It was a tough one to tell. She laughed and said, “you know, I’m a child development major and here I am making coupons!” Tami and I laughed. “You just don’t know,” she continued, “what you are really capable of until you are faced with it. I never thought I could take care of my father and watch him die but somehow I did it. It’s true. God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. You just don’t know you can handle it until He gives it to you.” “That’s how we grow, isn’t it?” I asked. She nodded.
It is no accident that Dana works at Valassis. True, her best friend is a supervisor here. Still, it makes so much sense. Dana was trying to find God but she didn’t know what He was like or where He was or how she would recognize Him. So God helped her by placing her in the middle of “Christian-ville” here at Valassis…because He loves her that much. And the void?
“It’s gone,” Dana smiled.
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