I'm Getting Older

I fell down the stairs last night. It was only a few but enough to do damage. Scraped up arm, banged up knee, bruised lower back...yes, I'm getting older. When I hit the bottom, something like a cross between laughter and crying came out of my mouth. Falling down the stairs made me feel foolish so I was laughing at myself but it also hurt pretty bad so I was crying out in pain. 40 years from now I might not live through a fall like this which makes me feel young, but I see how my body has definitely been changing since I was 19.

*I swear I'm getting arthritis in my knees. They ache. They hurt. I'm screwed.
*My teeth hurt. I have to wait for my cereal to soften in the milk before I eat it.
*My skin is okay but I see some of the sun damage. Oh, and that whole Jimmy Buffett line, "Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been"...I think I might be smiling too much.
*I'm actually the same weight I've been since...well, not high school and not college either...I'm actually okay in this area and am fine with my weight.
*I can't touch my toes but I never could. I was reading in a magazine that everyone should be able to do this and it will help with flexibility and arthritis. Drat.

I guess I know I won't be a spring chicken forever. The body will give out even if your spirit and mind don't. It must be so frustrating. It seems so unfair. Then, there is the whole other spectrum...you know...the clock thing. I don't necessarily feel it ticking but I really want to have kids. I want three or four of them. Time might not let me do that. The other morning I was driving into work. A commercial came on the radio. The woman was talking about a seminar for women who wanted to freeze their eggs. I almost started crying. Freeze my eggs! Ahhhhh!!!! I came into work and told my co-workers I was going to have a bake sale to raise money to freeze my eggs. They laughed. I didn't. They stopped. "Holly, stop worrying!"

I know...I worry too much...worry less, pray more.

Last night, I was watching the news. A 29-year-old murder case had been reopened because of new evidence. The case had been titled, Oakland County Child Killings. Apparently, four children were abducted and murdered within a one year period. All of these murders took place in cities I frequent and have lived recently: Ferndale, Royal Oak, Berkley, Birmingham. All of these murders took place in 1976-1977. The first to be killed was a little girl. They found her in February 1976, the same month I was born. While I was busy trying to come to earth, she was leaving in a horrific way. This puts all of my aches and pains into perspective. She never got the chance to get older.

So, it does suck and its going to get worse but I get to go through it because that's what us humans do. Yay.